New paintings and regular art updates.
Thank you to my hubby for rescuing me this morning. I was trying to get out of bed. I swung my legs out but ended up floundering on the edge. Half in and half out. My hubby came round and assisted me. I felt my bum sliding off the edge of the bed. I think. I was short of oxygen. I feel weak as a kitten. I hope this doesn’t get worse.
Feeling a bit happier this morning. I couldn’t sleep because when I lay down I started to cough. If I sit up I can breathe. I think I have a touch of bronchitis. Thankfully there is no sign of a positive result on my lateral flow test. I spoke to my pharmacy and they said they have test kits in but they will cost £2 each. That’s a bit much to pay but I guess I need some as I’m running out. Oh for the days when I could get them for free. Anyway symptoms are the cough, aches and a very sore throat which I have sugar free lozenges but I need paracetamol to get on top of it. Bleugh! I feel rotten…
Don’t you know I want to sleep. But my feet hurt and my legs ache and twitch. My shoulder and arm shakes. I have to wear a breathing mask. Then just when I get comfortable the snoring starts! I do love him, my hubby, but he also will put a hand on my shoulder and weigh me down. Really heavy handed. It’s almost four in the morning and I’ve been downstairs getting a warm drink. So I’ve got my phone. Mistake. But he unplugged the alarm this morning and I’m not sure if I’ve set it right, so I need to use my phone alarm incase it doesn’t go off. Three hours till I have to get up. Now it’s make me a cup of tea love? Oh I give up.
It hasn’t stopped raining for the last two days, places in Scotland have had as much rain in a day as they usually have in a month. I’ve kept inside and kept my sore throat and sniffles to myself. I think the weather has bought the bad bugs out. Plus with travelling last week I’ve probably come into contact with other people who have had colds. I did a lateral flow test this morning that was negative, but instead of my usual poor sleep I’ve been totally exhausted. Anyway at this rate I’ll be building an ark!
My eyes flood with tidal waves of tears.
Storm clouds have darkened my brows.
Salt tears course down my cheeks.
Time has flown, she is gone.
My sister – my twin.
Written and drawn at 4am. Things just got to me again and it seemed a good way of expressing myself.
Blugh! I feel tired and ill. Still negative for covid but getting fed up with my sore, croaky throat. It’s so annoying and it feels like it’s going on my chest. My body aches. It’s been so long since I’ve had a proper cold or flu, you forget how lethargic it makes you feel. I’m sitting with the cat poddling (kneading) my knee. Ouch, too tired to push him off. But it’s a comfort… And my nose keeps dripping like a tap. Hubby is cooking poached egg on toast. Hooray!
It’s another one of those nights. I lie down to sleep but my thoughts churn. I’m too hot, then too cold. I tried reading but hubby wants the light out, then he starts to snore. I came downstairs to get a drink, decaffeinated coffee, what a thrill?! I decided to treat myself to a slice of toast with hummus. Not very exciting. I know that at this rate it will be afternoon before I get up. One of the cats is on the armchair next to me, paw over his nose, keeping the light from the standard lamp out of his eyes. Oh to be a cat, curling up wherever you can. Warmed in a fur coat that is totally ethical. The house creaks at night, it’s old and not very well made. I think of my sister late at night. My chest does ache, but it might just be the cold I’ve had for the last few days. I guess I’ve got to learn to live with the loss. I’m still mourning her. Maybe tomorrow night I’ll get a better night’s sleep.
It’s a cool day, and we don’t have the heating on, but I feel hot. I’m wearing a jumper so that might be the cause, but my guts ache too. I hope I’m not ill. I haven’t eaten anything strange, I made a nice chicken and pasta meal last night and it was thoroughly cooked. Basically lots of vegetables, some tomato pasta sauce, two small chicken breasts (apologies to vegetarians) and some multi coloured pasta. Tonight we are going to have pizza so I guess I’m in an Italian mood?
Other symptoms? I think the lethargy I’m feeling is still from sadness. It’s taking me a while to get over things. Maybe my immune system is a bit low? Or perhaps that’s just me guessing. Meanwhile life goes on. I’ll get a cup of tea and maybe doze for a while. The cat has just come up to say hello…
Hard work, but I think it was worth it. I think some of my paintings are like knitting or embroidery, pulling all the threads together to bring it to a finished piece. And sometimes it’s knowing where to stop, to feel satisfied. Sometimes my hubby says I overwork things, but I think I know where I am with this. I decided not to add any bees or butterflies, I think that would just distract.
Now I lay me down to sleep, will I find the peace I seek? Last night I slept for two hours, stayed awake for three, then caught two more hours by their shirt tails. Dragged into and out of nervous dreams. Unsatisfied by my minds play and twists. I don’t remember them, but I think the dreams woke me, a flavour or a smell or a shape lifting me from slumber. Spending the day tired and aching. Wonder if I will repeat tonight? I hope not, but I’m overtired and grumpy, aching and yawning!
Mallaband-Brown