In front of the house

Nasturtium with varigated leaves and other plants that are in front of the house. The only problem is the litter that blows about outside. Now I wear gloves or pick it up in a plastic bag to dispose of it.

Today I saw several discarded marks just lying on the pavement mixed with the fallen leaves. How horrible that people won’t take care of the place they live in. I hate the way they take no responsibility for their environment.

Our plants out the front are doing well although I’ve seen people through the front window, stopping when walking their dogs, no doubt to pee on the plants! Still I’m glad we grow them…

Tired

A month of tonsillitis has knocked me sideways, it’s making my ears whoosh! I am sort of over it but it keeps coming back. I’m trying to ignore it. I think I’m just run down from stress from worry because of covid19. I think it’s just a matter of time before I get over it, but I’m tense and it weighs on me. I’m not the most traveled person in the world, but when you’re not allowed to go to places like visiting relatives. Then it’s hard to feel happy. Oh well. Another day done, another day closer to the end of this damn pandemic I suppose.

Welsh views

A year ago, driving down towards Snowdonia. I like the way the Layout app has joined some of the mountains up. Reminds me of the phrase ‘and the road goes ever on’ from The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkein.

The thought of not being able to go there for the moment is very disappointing. We were going for a short break but there has been another lockdown. I really want to see family and friends, but everything is messed up. We are expecting new rules for this part of England on Monday. As the nights draw in I think people will feel more and more isolated. Oh well…….

No mojo

My mojos gone out, I feel down, I feel demotivated. I think it’s living at this moment. I want to just wrap myself up in a ball, put my head under the duvet, hide.

Feeling myself gently rocking for comfort. Hunched shoulders, unable to start things or respond. I put on a brave face, but it’s hard work. It hasn’t helped being ill for the last few weeks. I think I’ve had tonsillitis and I’ve got an achy shoulder, and toothache and they are all impacting on me. Plus it’s getting darker in the evenings and I’ve not done much walking or going out, nerves about the increase in covid19 I guess. We are looking at more local lockdowns? In the meantime the world seems to be ruled by buffoons, orange, blond and barking mad! Is it any wonder I feel off?

Roses

The roses have faded and are gone. Only memories stay with you. Perfume, thorns.

The autumn and fungi are here, rosehips are swelling, elderberries feed the birds. Clouds are gathering, nights are earlier, mornings later. Time for spooky evenings, pumpkins and spiders. Black cats and rats. Mists descend, people try and raise their spirits with bonfires and fireworks, lighting up the sky with flashes and whizzes. Now few entertainments will be allowed. Life continues, but a grey boredom faces us. Keep away, keep away, keep away, the bird Sings. Out of the darkness people laugh, hide, drink, get up to high jinks. Fools for a day or the season. As the year creeps on festivals are cancelled, subscriptions to TV channels you never watched before increase. Firms named after rain forests cash in. Work continues but strangely. And snacks to comfort us are eaten. Winter arrives in cold airs and frosts, the seasons turn. Will spring and rose buds ever return or will black spot spoil the days?

In a bubble

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I’m tense all the time. My hubby went out walking today with some friends and I stayed in ostensibly to get some college work done but really I want to keep away from possible infection. I don’t like it though. I’m constantly tense. I get pains in my shoulders from holding them tight all the time. I’ve tried to book some physio because I’m getting pain from a pinched nerve in my arm and shoulder…  But there are no free appointments. Hubby says he will pay, but I’d rather trust the NHS than go private?

So the tension continues. I’ve even found myself rocking backwards and forwards to comfort myself. I don’t think I’m depressed just physically reacting to the pandemic. Stay safe everyone.

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Where have I been?

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I actually walked a reasonable distance today, about two miles up a steep hill, down a steep hill and along the main road. On the way I walked past this triffid growing out over the pavement.

I have not been out for a walk since March!

Well I got dragged out by a friend that walks miles every day. It made me realise I can do it. I just need to make the effort. But for now my knees and ankles ache. And I fell asleep when I got in. But it was worth the effort.

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Long day

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Well that was a busy day. I didn’t sleep because my female cat was having an inoculation this morning and I’d got to get up early. She’s sneaky, she doesn’t like cat carriers so we have a soft big bag that I can put the cats in. I had to hold her by the scuff of the neck while my hubby zipped the bag up. She yowled a lot on the way to the vets, but then settled down as I spoke to her quietly.

All was fine, she was inoculated and I bought her home. She was relieved and so was I!

Later when I went to do some college work she snuck behind me on the chair and went to sleep so I think I was forgiven.

We had an interesting talk about illustration online for a couple of hours. Looking at the use of collage and text in illustrations. Then later I met up with my two friends in the park. I sat and drew a tree and calmed down. I was so tired I could have fallen asleep in the sun. Sitting two meters apart on a roundabout. We gave it a few spins but I’m getting too old for things like that. Dizzy!

Then shopping, home, a bit of tidying and cooking. I have got a few more things to do. Not much of a diary entry. But it was at least busier than normal.

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