New paintings and regular art updates.
Time ticks for all
Fast or slow, time passes.
Tempus fugit when you’re having fun
Unwind in the morning and relax
The world is turning slightly faster every day
Circadian rhythms control moods
Tired and sleepy night time beckons
Time loses us sometimes…
Infinity pools together..
We were rehearsing for our play that we are putting on in May this afternoon. The director decided to have a chat about whether to continue. We have two weeks to go. We had a couple of people drop out and we’ve already postponed it once because of health issues. In actual fact we have been doing really well. But doubts are creeping in and we needed to steady nerves.
I suggested that if we pulled the play now people might walk away from it. We’ve put a lot off effort into the scenery and props and it would be sad to see it not go ahead.
People agreed to doubling up on a couple of characters, adding two more rehearsals and the director willmdo some coaching.
Break a leg!
Random memories
Random memories get at me… things only he used to do.. Why is the drill on top of the cupboard out of my reach? Did he know the answer to that university challenge question? I don’t recognise the different types of steam trains and can’t ask.. Long gone memories surface. What was his opinion about the latest political issues? 43 years then gone.. Lost, only in my memory…
He is still in my minds eye, a little corner of my brain grips tight and holds on.. He won’t go without a fight, and I don’t want to argue with him.
He would have been annoyed today, the pump sprang a leak in the airing cupboard and when I came downstairs there was half an inch of water on the floor…. Now I’ve got just one cold water tap and the kettle… But he would have sorted it out….
I miss him…
I’m still recovering from yesterday. My cat was due to be operated on so I took him to the vets at 8am. I barely slept the night before.
After leaving him I then went to the art group I go to so that I could take my mind off things. I’d also arranged to get a new battery for my phone, so my friend gave me a lift after art group.
So off we went, but the shop needed to keep my phone so I came home without it after asking the shop worker to bring it to my house after 5pm. He agreed because he lived nearby.
Then to the vets, I had to walk over as I didn’t have my phone!? But the cat (who hadn’t had his operation because they had 5 emergency operations in through the day) was not ready to be collected, so I walked home slowly to wait for my phone. By then I was exhausted. The phone duly arrived, and I rang the vets who confirmed the cat was ready. I then walked there and back, very slowly with stops… He was so pleased to be home…
Then later on I had to go and chair a meeting about a drama a group I am in…
I’m consequently so tired…
A few days ago it would have been my hubby’s birthday. He is not here anymore and I felt too sad to blog here. Also my phone is playing up so I might struggle to post till I get a new battery, which means finding somewhere to do that. I don’t want a replacement for my phone (or hubby). I prefer to get things fixed if I can.
My hubby was not fixable, I can’t tell you how much I wish things had been different. I still feel lost without him. I think grief is not controllable, you have to go with its ways, sometimes succumbing to the pain…. Despite wanting to make it go away. I just want to remember him always, even if I do feel blue….
Soon there will be tulips
Now there are snowdrops,
Daffodils emerge
Life comes back
Despite the winter
Earth renews
The circle of life rotates
Finds new ways to escape
From the grim greys
The dark days
The light plays
And lifts my spirits.
Look into the crystal ball
See what you can see?
Is it a reflection
or is it really me?
Trapped in time and hidden
Never to grow old
A portrait is an instant
In time, no longer told.
Memory of power
Ability to do
But time just gets slower
A reminder of you.
I keep forgetting to post here. I’ve got so much to do.. Forms to complete, meetings to go to, appointments to keep. I sign up for things to keep myself occupied but without transport everything is taking longer to get to. And I have been so behind with stuff. I really need to get my skates on and sort myself out. But I’m getting tired and staying in more. It’s so hard to get organised.
Prevarication doesn’t help, I look at things and worry, and stick my head under the duvet and try to hide and sleep!
Gray or grey?
Grumpy day
Drizzle soaks
No Sun,
It’s not come out to play.
Cold and damp
Low pressure
Slow moving
Fog and mist
I’m “rained in”
Hidden
From the grey…
Not my horse
Or one I’ve met
Just appeared in my gallery
Must have flown in
Pegasus style
Jumping in with a smile
On his long face
Grinning teeth glitter
In the sunshine
Happy as Larry.
Mallaband-Brown