Sometimes I want to go home.
Not this house, home,
But the one I grew up in.
The family home and hearth.
The place I knew so well
It’s nooks and crannys
The garden and the tree I climbed.
The old swing and the rockery.
Doors I shut forty years ago
Creak open in my mind.
I wish I could shut my eyes and go.
See our old pets, the roses by the back door.
Dad’s motorbike, mom’s hair in rollers.
Little memories make me homesick.
I would drive there now at 2am
But a new family live there.
I feel lost.
Suddenly, snow is on his head,
frost is in his hair.
Life is here still, strong and steady
but time has sprinkled white, dead hair into the brown.
Salt and pepper, they say.
Distinguished temples silvered by age.
No wish for dyes to cover it,
no need to hide it.
Only a realisation that winter is on its way.
Time snuck up on her. She had been waiting for a bus, minding her own business, when.
It was half an hour later. She was still standing by the bus stop but the town hall clock was now striking 7.
She looked at her watch, 6.30? What was happening. Well despite her watch it was too late to get the bus so she started the long trudge up the hill and out of the town.
She was so tired after her walk that she went for a soak in the bath, grabbed a sandwich and went upstairs to bed. She checked the alarm clock, it was half an hour ahead of her watch, so she reset it. She lay her head on her pillow and fell asleep…
Two minutes later it seemed the alarm went off. It must be right as daylight was streaming through the window. She stared at her watch. 10…but was that morning or evening. She looked at the electric clock, 8.30am….what the hell is going on?, she thought.
She felt sick and rang the doctors. As the time arrived for the appointment she hurried up to the surgery. But when she spoke to the receptionist she was told that she was an hour late. She would have to wait until the end of the mornings appointments to see if the doctor had time.
When they finally called her she did not answer. She was sitting there, perfectly still, not moving, not breathing, eyes wide open, staring into space…..
Time is flying. Today is the last day of June. For the last nine days the day length has been reducing slightly in the Northern hemisphere. The summer lags behind the day length as the atmosphere and ocean temperatures heat up but take a couple of months to get fully hot from the sun because they are so large (In the same way it takes longer to heat a whole house than one room in it).
Halfway through the year. Summer then Autumn then the start of Winter in December. The world turns. It seems to turn faster every year, blink and a year has gone. I don’t like how I’m getting older, more worn out, achy. Each year seems to flash by. Where do they go?
Like a napping cat staring bleary eyed into the dawn, I’m awake. I don’t want to be. There is a slight chill in the living room and I’m thinking of snuggling back in bed. To sleep, to not worry about today, who will come to my show? Are enough people interested?
Nerves, that’s what it is. The anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Collywobbles, butterflies, slight palpatations.
Nothing to worry about, I tell myself. Worrying never got anything done, I think. Life’s too short, I mutter under my breath.
So decisions, another decaff coffee or sleep, I know what I will do…..
What a week! I’m in the midst of campaigning in the local elections. I won’t go into details or mention the party I’m standing for. I don’t want to get into a political ramble here.
It’s just been mad. I’ve hardly been home. I haven’t had time to blog. My legs feel like they are about to drop off because I’ve done so much walking. My back is aching from jarring it coming down some steep steps. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve spoken to lots of people and met some really interesting characters. I want to help with their problems and try and make a difference. The only problem is politics has become a real antagonism to some people. With everything going on nationally it is having an effect locally.
So life is busy at the moment. But I hope to try and fit blogging back in again soon.
My mask of calm is about to slip
So busy today,
And time is spilt.
Suffering pain to make life work
Rushing from place to place
See no chance of resting now
Sitting neath a blossoming bough.
No I must in haste go
Till the job is finished, how?