Tag: Time

Sunsetting

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Oh my word, I have been so busy, and tired, this last week.

Days are getting shorter, but I’ve had to cram lots into them. I’ve got a gardener in to cut back the ivy that was getting up onto my roof. I’ve had treatment on my foot, which has had an infection for several weeks. I’ve had tests on my thyroid and I’m  feeling sad because it’s the anniversary of several sad occasions.

Consequently I have spent a lot of time contemplating life and what I can do to improve things. I haven’t made a plan, and I don’t see my life sunsetting, but I have to learn what I can continue to do and what I might have to give up.

Anyway, I will try and get back here more often.

X

My pain

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Today, after years I finally wrote down a lot of the bad things that have happened to me over the years. I’ve held it deep down and rarely shared it because, stiff upper lip, you just get on with it. People call me stoic, well I have been like this for over 60 years. I’m only saying now because I need to prove it to someone. Taken all day to write it all down. Do I feel better? Don’t know. I think I’ve still got some hope left.

Waiting

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I feel like I’m waiting

Watching out

For something to happen

A buzzing, fizzing, aching

Feeling unable to settle

Like the house will fall down

Or a comet will hit

Fires will strike

Things will crash

So I sit

Nerves twisting my gut

Agony and anxiety

Catastrophising

Waiting for my jenga life

To fall..

Procrastinating

Too busy

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I’m trying to paint, and do other things, but I volunteered for something and although I get nervous I can do online things and send emails. But I think I have taken on too much, and although I don’t regret it I am finding it hard to keep up.

Part of that is not being here every day. I’ve missed some prompts that I normally enjoy here. And for the next month I think it will get worse. Typing is an issue. I shake so it takes longer to compose things, so my posts are getting shorter.

Anyway it’s almost 2am so goodnight and sweet dreams.

My roof!

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I came home today and for a change I actually looked up at my roof… There is lots of ivy or clematis growing in a clump at the top of it. I am quite stooped over so I don’t look upwards very often.

Goodness knows what it will cost to get it sorted out…. I hope I can afford to pay… And I hope the roof doesn’t collapse or something,

Missing train trips

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Trains are great

By this time of year we would have been to a couple of local steam railways. The Churnet Valley railway and the Foxfield light railway. There are other nearby railways we could visit including at apedale in Newcastle under Lyme,  and a couple of miniature railways at the Brampton museum in Newcastle under Lyme and at Fletchers garden centre further away in Eccleshall. Even further afield is a small narrow gauge railway at Amerton Farm garden centre on the way to Rugeley. Then down at Chasewater there  is a light railway. That’s on the way to Birmingham.

So really well supplied with trains you can visit, not forgetting the main line ones. Sorry for the lack of detail but I would go on for several pages!

Time

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A clock that is stopped is right twice a day

Time ticks for all

Fast or slow, time passes.

Tempus fugit when you’re having fun

Unwind in the morning and relax

The world is turning slightly faster every day

Circadian rhythms control moods

Tired and sleepy night time beckons

Time loses us sometimes…

Infinity pools together..

Should we?

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We were rehearsing for our play that we are putting on in May this afternoon. The director decided to have a chat about whether to continue. We have two weeks to go. We had a couple of people drop out and we’ve already postponed it once because of health issues. In actual fact we have been doing really well. But doubts are creeping in and we needed to steady nerves.

I suggested that if we pulled the play now people might walk away from it. We’ve put a lot off effort into the scenery  and props and it would be sad to see it not go ahead.

People agreed to doubling up on a couple of characters, adding two more rehearsals and the director willmdo some coaching.

Break a leg!

Random…

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Random memories

Random memories get at me… things only he used to do.. Why is the drill on top of the cupboard out of my reach? Did he know the answer to that university challenge question? I don’t recognise the different types of steam trains and can’t ask.. Long gone memories surface. What was his opinion about the latest political issues? 43 years then gone.. Lost, only in my memory…

He is still in my minds eye, a little corner of my brain grips tight and holds on.. He won’t go without a fight, and I don’t want to argue with him.

He would have been annoyed today, the  pump sprang a leak in the airing cupboard and when I came downstairs there was half an inch of water on the floor…. Now I’ve got just one cold water tap and the kettle… But he would have sorted it out….

I miss him…