Honestly? Honesty

What quality do you value most in a friend?

I almost said loyalty, but if I do something wrong I hope a friend would let me know. I do think that’s really important. I guess I need to think about it though. One person’s honesty might be someone else’s severe criticism. I would prefer to know what a friend honestly thought without it breaking our friendship.

What that means is that we could mutually agree to disagree if politics or some other belief was coming between us. For instance having mutual respect if you followed different religions. I can’t see why that would end a friendship. Unless of course one of you had inhumane ideas. In which case I don’t think we could be friends in the first place.

By the way I apologise for pontificating in these prompt posts. But they make me think about things, and they are here to be answered….

Why not loyalty? Because that might mean the friend backs you up even if you’ve done something wrong. I’d prefer them to nudge me and say they think I’ve made a mistake. OK I’d prefer constructive criticism in that case (what a polite world I want to live in)! Sometimes though I honestly need a serious criticism. Nobody is perfect after all…..

It depends how cold!

How do you feel about cold weather?

Britain is a temperate but also a maritime country. It sits in a position where winds come from all directions and can get hot but also quite cold. That variation in weather means the British are always talking about the it!

As the world warms up we are getting less cold weather, but we don’t always have warm temperatures. Some years ago the country was covered in snow for a few weeks. Satellite pictures showed a totally white surface of the country, which was brilliant white with snow and ice.

So how do I feel about the cold? I have not really experienced very cold weather. But I have lived in cold houses. Huddling around a coal fire when I was a student, with not enough money to burn coal! I remember one day chopping up an old chair to keep warm. That was the year a crank on my then boyfriends bike snapped because it was so cold.

On another occasion we went cycle camping one Easter. The weather was fine on our travel to the camp site, then it snowed. We set up camp then found places in the town to keep warm. We sat in a warm pub till closing time, then had to go back. You know its cold when you put on two pairs of trousers and four tops to go to sleep in a sleeping bag inside a tent!

So on the whole I can cope with the cold. I don’t like not being able to heat our house as I get older, but I can put on more jumpers and a coat.

What I hate is too much heat….


What sacrifices have you made in life?

There are small and large sacrifices you make when you live with or marry someone. The marriage ceremony says a lot, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer…

After 40 or more years together you forget a lot of the sacrifices, you just have to try and get along, you do so much together. Things do spring to mind, but now they feel trivial. He had an offer to do a masters degree, I had an offer to move away and get a job in a distant city. What stopped us? Money mainly. We couldn’t afford to give up our jobs. We had to stick with what we were doing.

Life has its way of getting in the way of things. It’s not planned, it’s not a story with a happy ending (unless you are very lucky). It’s a series of compromises and accidents. Time can sometimes smooth things out, but not always.

Then as you get older you make more sacrifices. You can be selfish and decide you want everything your way, or just go along with the flow, become indifferent to your partner. Hopefully you find a way through and stick together. I don’t pretend to have answers, but you cope. I’d maybe have done more with my life, but I’m OK with what I am now and what I’ve got. Life is a path through the trees, you can’t see your destination. You just have to stay hopeful.


Finding my way

Are you a leader or a follower?

I am not a leader,

so I must be a follower?

Following up a hill,

Always behind

Lost in a maze

Following my gaze

Happy to be lead

As long as its fair

and honest advice

Why don’t I lead?

I’m not bombastic

Or over confident.

I can and do try

But I prefer


Caring and thoughtful

I hope….

Most of it!

What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?

OK, but why?

The Earth is quite a large planet to humans, but it is also a finite place. It doesn’t go on for ever and it has limited resources.

I know there are wonderful places to visit and also terrible places, it depends mainly on human activity. We may preserve a place or tear it apart. Every time a person travels though they have a carbon footprint, the amount of carbon dioxide that is produced by the vehicle you travel in, what energy it takes to make it and what is used to fuel the vehicle.

But with satellites, television and the Internet I can visit almost every corner of the world without actually going there. So why should I? I visit places in the UK because it doesn’t cause too much pollution. If I could, I would cycle to where I want to visit. If I want to go abroad I would prefer to use a sailboat or at the most a ferry. I don’t want to fly unless there are solar powered planes.

Another reason not to travel is the fear of disease. There have been films about escaped viruses and diseases, but I never thought I would experience a real pandemic. I guess it’s a case of once bitten, twice shy. I don’t know what I might catch ‘out there’. I am not xenophobic, I’m happy for anyone to come here. I just want people to think first. Do you need to visit, do you want to increase your carbon footprint? It’s a different situation if you are fleeing violence or oppression, then in my opinion you are very welcome. The world is a strange place. I’m lucky to be here.