Hot flushes


Things that you don’t find out when you are young….

Middle aged women suffer from hot flushes (or flashes) as they get older. This is called the Menopause. You can start getting problems when you are perimenopausal. This is when the normal hormones reduce as you age. Women start getting problems like osteoporosis or loss of bone density. It can also cause memory problems.

One thing that can relieve this is HRT or hormone replacement therapy, but this is not widely available. Basically women are just expected to get on with it.

I guess the only advantage is not needing extra layers when it’s cold. At the moment I feel like the central heating is on full blast.. But the radiators are off!

Fell over..


I was trying  to help move a huge flower pot with an olive tree and a walnut tree growing out of it. My husband was  pulling the pot and I tried to push.. He pulled me over! I crashed into some plants luckily not the concrete. Im glad he was there! I realised I was OK with only a slightly bashed knee. But I don’t have the strength to get up that I once had. I was flailing around on the floor, like the dying fly dance from the 70s or 80s. I managed to turn to my knees then he hauled me to my feet. My knee is a bit sore but it’s the shock and surprise, you feel yourself topple, everything goes sideways. Then it’s shock that you are on the ground. Last time was because a chair leg broke. Then I broke a rib so I count myself lucky today. Its scary enough when you are a child and fall over, when you’re a middle aged, unfit female it can be frightening. X

Choir practice


I’m off out to choir practice today. Learning new songs, and old ones to different tunes.

I’m sure my mental health has been better since I began going to a choir over ten years ago. It’s good for things like relaxation and concentration. I would recommend it to anyone who nerds some stress busting.

I can be sitting with the choir with no memory if the words or tune. Then almost miraculously they come to me as we start singing. We sing mainly acappella and my voice is most suited to alto and low parts.

We learnt a version of let your little light shine for the Stoke sings choir festival the weekend before last. With words that were appropriate to the cities history of pottery and mining.

I hope we sing it again tonight. It was fun to sing with 600 other people belting out the various parts. It is on YouTube  somewhere.



The older you are the faster life seems to go. Whether it is because of all the experiences you have had so you know what to expect, or your mind is so used to days flowing into weeks and months….. Its like the song, you turn around and youth has gone, summer turns to autumn and winter.

This year has been one of the best in my life in some ways. My health has been OK, I’m not at work so I don’t feel all the stress I used to, and because I lost weight I have been able to get about better. In contrast time seems to be affecting my partner more. He is still fit, but struggles to stand up and does not exercise as much. I’m sure it’s more to do with putting on weight, but it’s not helping that he is older than me.

I wish I could go back in time and explain what happened to me as I got older and tell myself what mistakes to avoid.

Life goes on, now I’m more thoughtful and perhaps too cautious. More bothered about going on long journeys and even stupid things like driving in the dark.

Life keeps going. I do as I’m told (mostly) by my doctor. I’m lucky at the moment to have health, home and some happiness. I just hope I’m not tempting fate by saying it!


Someone (a friend) saw my rather serious selfies and asked me to take some photos of me laughing. I’ve never done that before and so I was a bit surprised but I said yes….

These are the results including me with a straight face.

I’m imagining having to do a passport photo and choosing to do it with me laughing, how much fun would that be? And instead of “filter faces” where everyone has to have perfect skin and features and hair why not have do this instead? fun…. life is too serious sometimes.

I’ve got one photo of me somewhere that had me wearing a stick on moustache, and others in hats, also in face paints. Life is too short, life is often hard and boring, sometimes we need to break away from its difficulties….

When I was a child I won a funny  face competition at school. I used to pull faces all the time, when we grow up we forget all those things!

So go ahead, even if you don’t post it, pull a face now, or roar with laughter, or just giggle. ….relax and be free of social pressures for a second! Laughter is good medicine .

I might just do a painting of these. There are some sculptures I saw on tv of a man pulling faces……not sure who did them or why, but he showed his humanity.


Sleep aponea


This is the mask I have to wear every night. It’s to help my breathing by pushing air into my mouth and stopping the soft pallet at the back of my throat collapsing.

A couple of years ago, I was tired all the time, falling asleep at work. Couldn’t keep my eyes open. I felt awful and was having other health issues. Luckily my doctor sent me for tests and it came back that I had sleep aponea.

What’s that? Well as I say it stops my soft  pallet from falling down into my throat and effectively choking me. Instead of getting good deep sleep my brain was waking me into light sleep so I could breathe but the lack of deep sleep is harmful. The condition can cause heart problems and diabetes amongst other illnesses.

I thank my doctor for getting me sorted out. I don’t know what I would have done or how I would have been without his intervention .

Thankfully I’m much better now,  and although the mask can be a nuisance I’m glad I’ve got it!