Like a napping cat staring bleary eyed into the dawn, I’m awake. I don’t want to be. There is a slight chill in the living room and I’m thinking of snuggling back in bed. To sleep, to not worry about today, who will come to my show? Are enough people interested?
Nerves, that’s what it is. The anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Collywobbles, butterflies, slight palpatations.
Nothing to worry about, I tell myself. Worrying never got anything done, I think. Life’s too short, I mutter under my breath.
So decisions, another decaff coffee or sleep, I know what I will do…..
I’m busy, tired, aching, rushed,
I’m going to rest
I’m going to sleep
I’m going to bed
So I can wake refreshed
But not yet
Not for a while,
After this programme….
Oh, now its late
Just put up a restful photo from up the top of the hill. It may turn into a painting, but not tonight. It’s from a few days ago. I was to tired to post it before now..
I feel like I’ve turned into a cat, she said, all I ever do is sleep. Even when I’m awake I feel drowsy.
The doctor checked her pulse, looked in her eyes, checked her throat and temperature. Well I can’t find anything physically wrong he said. I suggest you try drinking coffee? Are there any things affecting your stress levels?
Well, that’s it. She said, I feel totally relaxed. Then I feel sleepy. She yawned hugely, see, she said, it’s getting to me now?
So how much time do you sleep at night? Asked the doctor? A good eight or nine hours solid, she said.
Later when she got home she immediately sat down and kicked off her shoes. I’ll put the shopping away later she thought. She never noticed the trickle of white gas seeping out of a hole in the skirting board. The odourless mist wafted gently upwards. Soon she was fast asleep…
Waiting for the night to turn to light,
For my breath to calm,
For the rushing noise in my ear to stop.
Anything to keep me from harm.
Let me sleep through nights eternal flight,
Let me sleep and miss the noisy road.
My lids are heavy, I start to nod
Leave earth in dreamland
But then I thud
Back into reality
Pull into alarmed wariness
By a noise in my head.
Cats are heat seeking, so when I put some of the washing up away, well he jumped up and sat in the warm patch of sunlight!
I’m considering using him as a dish mop or tea towel. I’m surprised he hasn’t jumped into my frying pan.
At one stage he had his head down and started purring loudly. Don’t worry I washed it all again afterwards. The space is now full of draining crockery and I’ve cleared a space for him away from here.
On the arm
Of an armchair
Getting his zzzzzeds
Purring and dreaming
Sleeping and relaxing again,
Cat with nine lives has nine sleeps
Each day he rests his head down
Takes his time to get to sleep
Happy and comfortable
Imagining cat toys
And cat food
Before sleep spins me into unconsciousness, before dreams tangle my hair and twist my body. Before dark night closes in on me. One last thought. We need more kindness and care. We need to look after the poorest and those with the least resources. We need to see this world as a whole, not in parts. Why should luck determine where we are in the world. Why are people so selfish and unkind?
Dreams could be made real if we cared. Damage to life and the environment is our choice. With climate change we need to change our perspectives. I think we should all consider the future and work to make a better planet. Perhaps then we can all sleep a bit more peacefully in our beds if we have them. At least I hope so and that equality is our future goal. I know I’m naive but I still can dream.