I am trying to drag myself out of an illness today, but all that seems to happen is that I fall asleep. Its only a stomach bug (enough information), but it really hit me yesterday.
Should I blog about this? I’m only explaining because I’m usually here everyday, writing endless things about art or silly poems. I do wonder sometimes if there is a point? Would anyone miss my words. It’s when you’re feeling a bit down that you start to question why I do this. Is it like vanity publishing? I wonder…
Tired, shaking, aching. Can’t rest, can’t get comfortable, can’t sleep. Too hot, too cold. Got a slight cough. Feeling miserable. Not ill. The injured calf muscle is difficult to position, too painful after three weeks. I’ve slept on the settee with my legs resting on cushions on a stool because straightening my leg makes it cramp up. My sleeping mask that I have to wear to keep my throat from stopping me breathing is rubbing on my nose and puffs of air from it disturb me as I try to nod off. Occasionally I’ve slept in an armchair instead, cushioned up and curled in a ball. I want to go to bed, upstairs. But I’m scared like the Grand old Duke of a Yorks men I will end up halfway. Neither up nor down.
Injury is not only frustrating, it’s confidence sapping too. You don’t trust yourself incase something happens to make it worse. So instead I’m sitting tapping on my phone. Dithering in the cool night air, wanting to be snuggled and comfy. Feeling fed up.
I had a shocking night last night. The pain in my leg means it’s hard to get comfortable. I can’t lie flat and if I lie on my side I have to put my legs on a footstool with pillows on it. I sometimes can’t get the levels right, so either my legs are too low and the edge of the settee digs in my thighs. The other way means my legs are too high and my knees feel twisted. I really, really, just want to get upstairs to bed. My shocked cat 🙀 plant holder shows what I think!
When you pull a muscle don’t expect it to heal overnight. You can expect discomfort for several days or a few weeks. You start doing things, then, ouch, you over stretch or twist or lift your foot or knee up a little too quickly and that band of pain clamps on your leg again.
Don’t expect to sleep well. If you can’t get upstairs you could be limited to sleeping in an armchair or on a settee or sofa. My cats are most disgruntled that I’m sleeping in their warm spot.
Don’t expect to be able to do the shopping. If a friend helps that’s a godsend. If your partner does it, we’ll don’t expect what’s on the list. As long as he’s happy…. In any case it will be all over soon. My patience has been stretched to a twanging, tight rope, ready to snap!
He woke up and saw the figure of a blue woman hovering in the bedroom. She was standing, but as he looked down to the side of the bed her feet were a couple of inches above the floor.
She had no facial features, like a mannequins dummy, blank faced, not even eyes. No mouth, no sound. He felt, somehow though, that she was looking at him? The angle of her head, tipped down and intent on where he lay. He noticed motes of dust in the sunbeam shining through the window. He could see them floating beyond the figure. It was dissolving as he watched.
Finally it faded, gradually, slowly, melting into nothing. No explanation, no reason, gone. All he felt was a wash of calm, not fear, and relieved that she was gone.
I just noticed that the outside cat (seen here inside) is almost as big as my trumpet case. This gives you an idea of the scale of him! He’s got used to knocking on the cat flap now. He could walk through it as we have it set to coming in only, but I think he would struggle to squeeze through!
Tonight he was lying on the two arms of our armchair, on a cushion placed between the arms. He had his paws and his face on my hand. He was dreaming and his head and ears were twitching, his claws stuck in my hand at one stage. Then he woke up and went to the back door. He only stays in for a couple of hours, unless he’s deeply asleep. No doubt he will be back in an hour or so.
It must be a blue moon, or an eclipse, but going to bed before midnight? Unheard of in this house! I think I’ve tired myself out. I have a book I want to read snuggled under my pillow. I’m not interested in the film my hubby is watching, something with Bruce Willis being brutal. I attended an on line singing festival for six hours today, then went shopping (walked there and back), then finally an evening walk. My arm, knees and feet hurt. Enough. Goodnight.