Tired, shaking, aching. Can’t rest, can’t get comfortable, can’t sleep. Too hot, too cold. Got a slight cough. Feeling miserable. Not ill. The injured calf muscle is difficult to position, too painful after three weeks. I’ve slept on the settee with my legs resting on cushions on a stool because straightening my leg makes it cramp up. My sleeping mask that I have to wear to keep my throat from stopping me breathing is rubbing on my nose and puffs of air from it disturb me as I try to nod off. Occasionally I’ve slept in an armchair instead, cushioned up and curled in a ball. I want to go to bed, upstairs. But I’m scared like the Grand old Duke of a Yorks men I will end up halfway. Neither up nor down.
Injury is not only frustrating, it’s confidence sapping too. You don’t trust yourself incase something happens to make it worse. So instead I’m sitting tapping on my phone. Dithering in the cool night air, wanting to be snuggled and comfy. Feeling fed up.
My black and white cat is very good at hiding. He’s not allowed out because he’s having treatment for his eye. It does mean that I have to let the other two out carefully. We are keeping the door between the kitchen and backdoor closed. Except when hubby forgets. Last night he was going to bed. I asked him to check the cat was upstairs. He shouted down he wasn’t (he’s got a couple of good hiding places). So hubby went out in the rain to see if he could see the cat. I stood and called at the back door. Hubby came back, no sign. But the cat usually comes when I call. I promised to whistle and shout for him every hour or so to see if he would come back. But all that happened was the other two cats popped in and out. After hours of not sleeping, but going to the back door regularly and calling and rattling food… At five thirty am he CAME DOWNSTAIRS! ate some cat food and fell asleep on top of the settee and I could finally rest!
Our outside cat really does seem to appreciate us. Often he puts out his paw and touches me as if he is confirming to himself that I am real, that I exist. It is somehow a gesture of reassurance. Trust, acceptance. I feel so privileged that he seems to know we care about him.
This photo was just taken. He wants to sit between us on the armchair arms. My hubby pats the cushion on the arms and he jumps up. He’s now resting his head on the arm. Soon he will be asleep.
My indoor cats still get attention, I see the look of love in their faces, slightly closing their eyes in a look of pleasure, but I guess our outdoor cat needs that extra bit of care. He was rejected and abandoned by his previous owners and its taken about three years to get him in and really gain his trust. We love him.
It must be a blue moon, or an eclipse, but going to bed before midnight? Unheard of in this house! I think I’ve tired myself out. I have a book I want to read snuggled under my pillow. I’m not interested in the film my hubby is watching, something with Bruce Willis being brutal. I attended an on line singing festival for six hours today, then went shopping (walked there and back), then finally an evening walk. My arm, knees and feet hurt. Enough. Goodnight.
He’s coming in at night more and more, he’s finding comfort and warmth. My cats are being tolerant (probably because they were rescue cats where there were twenty cats in the house). They sniff each other and then find somewhere to rest. This cat stays in longer ever night, we are his safe space. After an hour or two he goes to the back door and yowls, asks to be released. One day he might stay the whole night, but I understand he wants his freedom. In the meantime I’m getting him flea and worming treatments so he doesn’t pass anything on to my two. I’m glad he’s befriended us. X
Today I walked 4.3 miles, not far, but part of it was up one of the steepest hills in Stoke-on-Trent. I’m trying to get fitter, and lose a few more pounds in the meantime. We stopped off at a local pub in Hartshill and had half of lime and soda water. The beer garden would have been quiet except for the traffic being heavier today than it has been for ages. I tried to talk to my walking partner, but I’m too slow and I’m also trying to keep to social distancing, so I enede up having to shout a bit, then every time I spoke another car came past so I repeated myself a lot. Well I’m not a great walker, but I did OK. My legs were wobbling by the time we got back. Highlights were seeing five or six bees feeding on Japanese Anemone plants. Sadly no photo unless my friend sends me a copy of hers.