It’s getting colder here and the forecast or Scotland, parts of Wales and the North West is for snow over the next few days. That made me want to draw snowflakes, and that led me to using the sketch app again.
At the moment I’m trying to keep warm and get over the bug I’ve had for a few weeks. The thought of colder weather does not fill me with joy. Just dread!
Still I like my colours that I’ve used on the drawing, a little bit like Wedgwood China.
I must have been tired last night, I didn’t wake up till after two pm this afternoon. I hadn’t slept the night before and it feels like I’m getting no sleep one night and then a decent night the day after. Strategies for trying to sleep, like relaxation, meditation, deep breathing and other techniques don’t seem to work. I think we need a new bed, ours is over twenty five years old and very lumpy. I’ve folded up sheets to stop the springs sticking in me! It’s also a problem with pain. My toes hurt due to gout and having the sheets resting on them is uncomfortable to say the least, so I toss and turn all night and get up too exhausted to stay awake in the day! But I’m going to try and get a new bed maybe…. In any case I must stop moaning about things! I hate insomnia.
Tired, didn’t sleep last night so had several naps this afternoon and evening. I saw the start and end of one film, but nothing in between. My eyes have kept closing, while I’ve been dozing. But I have lots of things to do. I must get better and find the time to get them done. Stupid chest infection.
I digitally manipulated the previous grumpy drawing to try and make it look sad.
I have just been shopping, for the first time in a week. But really I’ve only been out a few times in a month through ill health. The trouble is the superstore I go to was refurbished in the summer and because I’ve been going to a cheaper, smaller, super market I don’t know where things are. It took me about half an hour to get eight things! I used to be able to go in and get what I wanted in about five to ten minutes. Now I have to search. Plus they have added a lot more self checkouts. I prefer the manned tills, but there were big queues today so I used the self checkout. I had several ‘unexpected item in the bagging area’ situations. Partly because I took my own bag and it didn’t like it. Then it kept telling me to put the last item back in the basket? A woman manning the checkouts had to come over and sort out the computer screen. Oh for old fashioned checkout people. I went home and vowed not to go out again tonight.
It’s been raining a lot today, but I noticed it was slightly lighter this afternoon and the sun seems to be setting a little bit later. Soon the sun will be setting after five pm, that’s when I know we are getting through the winter. Sitting in the house with the curtains closed to help keep the warmth in makes me feel sad. But I realise how close to being a recluse I can be. I was thinking that I have only been out of the house for a few hours in the last month. Last week I took myself to the shop on my own for the first time in about three weeks (hubby has come out with me to keep me safe while I’ve been ill). Am I being lazy, or sick? I don’t know, I think I’m probably protecting myself, I don’t want to catch anything else and I don’t want to pass this bug on. It’s strange how your mind muddles and loses time when you are in the same place for a long time. It makes you think.
I was upstairs in bed after a totally sleepless night when my mobile rang. I couldn’t get downstairs in time to answer it, so I checked the number, which was local, so I rang it, but there was an automated answer saying the phone line didn’t take incoming calls. It was from a firm I know, but didn’t say anything except I should contact them (no phone number to ring back on, no message left) annoying but these things happen. But as I went back upstairs the land-line rang. I couldn’t get back down in time. It was the same number. Missed it again. So I’ve stayed up for two hours incase they ring back, but I have no idea who to contact (it’s a very big firm), no information because they didn’t have the courtesy to leave a message and if they have my numbers then they must have my email address too, but no one has tried to contact me on that. I could literally swear! This is not good customer service.
It really was a dark and stormy night… And morning has dawned dark and gloomy. The ill fitting window in the kitchen makes vuuumming noises if the wind is from the south and the trees outside were whipping back and forth in gusts of wind. So I woke up about 4am then couldn’t sleep again. Sometimes I will watch the clouds scud across the moon but last night it was black and gloomy despite a full moon the night before. I’d set the alarm for 8am but cancelled it at 7.55 and got up and cooked us breakfast. Hubby is going for a walk with a friend. I’m glad they are not going too far because he won’t be back too late. Now? Got some chose to do, but the cats decided to sit on my lap so I will try and doze.
I lie down and I start to cough, I sit up and it stops, it’s so tiring having this chest infection. It’s a nuisance. I’m feeling a bit better now, but the more it lingers the more it feels like I will never get over it. I fall asleep on my chair in the day, too tired to go out and do anything. I can manage cooking as long as I sit down after I’ve prepared things and let the food simmer. Last night I read a book I’ve almost finished till four am, then I lay down and started to cough. My legs and feet ache. I can’t get comfortable. I also managed to drag my CPAP machine off its shelf as I turned over in bed. It clattered to the floor, still pumping air. I hate it, but it keeps me breathing at night. It’s almost eight am now and I’m sipping a decaff coffee trying to keep my fluid levels up. I’ll probably try and sleep again later but give up by midday. My sleep pattern is awful and no doubt tonight I will sleep more heavily. I can feel my eyes aching in their sockets! Sleep please come.
I guess this is like a diary entry. I’ve already put had this bug for probably more than two weeks. I think I caught it in a meeting that I went to, there were a lot of people I didn’t know there and at least one was coughing. I’ve tested negative again for covid, so I think I’ve caught something that must be doing the rounds. Lots of other people I know have it too. I feel I might be responsible! Symptoms include a sore throat, a cough which has really gone on my chest, and feeling shivery.
It’s only when I feel like this that I wonder how tiny viruses and bacteria can have such an affect on animals and humans. There must be a lot of them, and as your body tries to fight back does it release toxins? Bacteria and viruses try and get inside your cells and replicate, and your body tries to kill and expel them, but I don’t understand all the physiology. I just wish I was a cat and could sleep through feeling ill!