Having all what?

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

I’d rather have happiness than ‘it all’ whatever that is? That could be money or personal belongings. But if billionaires aren’t happy or fulfilled why would I be. When I think about having it all I generally think of a lottery win, then I think about sharing my winnings, and whether there would be enough money to go round. And it’s not just family and friends, what about charities and support for other people. Why can’t they share in ‘having it all?’

I know about 80 men (not women) are richer than half the world’s population. That means 80 people have the same money as 4,000,000,000 men women and children. That’s insane. I don’t understand how they keep their money and don’t share it out?

Everyone seems to want ‘it all’ but what about fair shares? I can understand why if you have never had anything it might be attractive to have it all. But selflessness is surely a better way of living.

Life is difficult or almost impossible for a lot of people. The majority of people in the world  have almost nothing to live on. Who considers their needs? When political systems are more interested in corporate profit and money for shareholders than their citizens it’s not a good place to be…

And for me? I doubt it’s attainable now. I’m too old and grouchy to have it all!

The Green Man?

Who would you like to talk to soon?

I would like to speak to a mythological person. The Green man. I would ask him how he manages with leaves growing all over him including out of his mouth? Is he rooted to the ground or can he move around like Treebeard the Ent from the Lord of the Rings Story by Tolkien? I would also what literature he appears in so I can find new things to read….

It’s a weird question though, I could say a relative or friend, but no one here would know them, so I could say anything. I could make things up. The same goes for famous people, how would I know what to say to a rock star or a TV personality and of what relevance would my opinions have for them, or theirs to me?

I would like some answers about insurance or council issues, instead of having to deal with a bot or an answer machine. At least when you speak to a human they can understand nuanced ideas and arguments. Having to talk to a chat bot can limit communication, particularly if it can’t understand your accent. Sometimes I talk to a AI voice on the phone and it will think I said No when I said Yes. When I rang up the cinema for local showings of films it thought I asked for Edinburgh! So yes, the Green Man, why not?


What sacrifices have you made in life?

There are small and large sacrifices you make when you live with or marry someone. The marriage ceremony says a lot, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer…

After 40 or more years together you forget a lot of the sacrifices, you just have to try and get along, you do so much together. Things do spring to mind, but now they feel trivial. He had an offer to do a masters degree, I had an offer to move away and get a job in a distant city. What stopped us? Money mainly. We couldn’t afford to give up our jobs. We had to stick with what we were doing.

Life has its way of getting in the way of things. It’s not planned, it’s not a story with a happy ending (unless you are very lucky). It’s a series of compromises and accidents. Time can sometimes smooth things out, but not always.

Then as you get older you make more sacrifices. You can be selfish and decide you want everything your way, or just go along with the flow, become indifferent to your partner. Hopefully you find a way through and stick together. I don’t pretend to have answers, but you cope. I’d maybe have done more with my life, but I’m OK with what I am now and what I’ve got. Life is a path through the trees, you can’t see your destination. You just have to stay hopeful.

Putting up walls

It dawned on me this morning, the walls around me have grown… I’ve felt hemmed in by the pandemic, and tied down by ropes attached to concrete blocks. Not physically but mentally, emotionally, sadly.

Why? It stems from fear of what might happen. There is a word ‘catastrophise’ that I’ve heard recently. Maybe that’s what I’m doing. Plus hubbys situation bothers me, I feel very protective. Then again, as I age, bits of me don’t work properly. I tried to do something about it, but the authorities don’t seem to understand. It’s made me despondent to some extent. My prevarication is getting to me.

Sorry to lay all of this at your doors, I think by speaking out it allows me to order my thoughts. Those walls need to come down, and I need to let some light in, I need to be less of a scardey cat… But it’s not easy..


Finding my way

Are you a leader or a follower?

I am not a leader,

so I must be a follower?

Following up a hill,

Always behind

Lost in a maze

Following my gaze

Happy to be lead

As long as its fair

and honest advice

Why don’t I lead?

I’m not bombastic

Or over confident.

I can and do try

But I prefer


Caring and thoughtful

I hope….


What gives you direction in life?

Imagining a direction to take

Decisions made when I wake,

Thoughts my mind makes….

It’s a hard question when you get older and most of your life is behind you. I’m not very religious, so mainly I want to stay safe and keep going. No one wants bad things to happen.

I guess what direction I take could include going round in circles, always turning right, heading north. But mainly it’s just survival. Not in a preppy, survivalist sort of way, but just managing with what we’ve got, helping others when we can. Not expecting too much. Just trying to support each other. It’s not always easy, and questions have to be asked about whether the direction we are heading in now is still the right one.

The world should be fair for everyone. I know that’s a hard thing to expect, and people can be selfish and jealous of what they have. But I hope people will consider others as well as themselves. I think John Lennons song ‘Imagine’ is a good thing to follow…..

Onomatopoeia ?

Glung! The springs in my bed make that noise. Shhhhh the wind in the trees.

It’s the word that is written that sounds like the sound that is being made. Cats Miaow (or miroaw), sheep go Bahh. So lambs are called Baa Lambs. There is a Baa lamb hill near here.

Just thinking, maybe that’s how language started? Imitating sounds, and then other describing words. How can we know.

Translation of language was helped by the Rosetta stone which had three languages carved into it. Because each was a translation of the previous one it took linguists back in time to understand ancient voices.