One event?

If you could erase one event from history, what would it be?

What could I possibly choose? Like the beating of a butterfly or moths wings, what chaos would my choice cause?

We imagine that we can be all powerful, have the ability to alter history, but like the grandfather paradox (the one where someone goes back in time and accidentally kills his grandfather, so he can no longer exist), you don’t know what your action will do.

Stop the meteor that killed the dinosaurs? Lizards walk around in suits and ties. The Spanish Armada beat the English? Everyone in America is now of Spanish decent.

Steam engines are improved before automobiles, we have clean air and no climate change, but we are heading for an ice age instead.

So basically I would have to keep things as they are for fear of making things worse!

Trouser leg for tea…

Thoughts go astray sometimes, especially as you get older, but I’ve never said “I’ll have a trouser leg for tea”? before….

I was deciding what to have for my evening meal and thought chicken leg with rice and a tomato pasta sauce would be simple and tasty…

I did chuckle as I said it to myself, I immediately realised that I had uttered the wrong phrase, I’m glad I did, I’m not completely gaga yet!

Tomorrow night I might have mice pudding…… Haha!

Talking helps.

I found a post from a stranger that touched me and made me realise that you can do things to help you with sadness.

I suddenly remembered what I was advised to do when my hubby died a few years ago.

I hope people don’t mind but this is what I wrote to them. It’s copied directly from the post and I hope it makes sense to the person that I have written it to.

“Sorry you feel that way
It’s good that you are expressing it.
Can you talk to someone to help you get through it? I retreated into myself when I felt like this, but then I realised it was better to talk it through. My thoughts are with you. Even writing things down helps. I have written gratitude diaries. You write down three small things to be grateful for every day. Small things, like the traffic light turning green as you get there. Or finding a nice flower, or simply saying hi to a friend. “

Sending hugs to you all.

Waiting

I feel like I’m waiting

Watching out

For something to happen

A buzzing, fizzing, aching

Feeling unable to settle

Like the house will fall down

Or a comet will hit

Fires will strike

Things will crash

So I sit

Nerves twisting my gut

Agony and anxiety

Catastrophising

Waiting for my jenga life

To fall..

Procrastinating

Time

A clock that is stopped is right twice a day

Time ticks for all

Fast or slow, time passes.

Tempus fugit when you’re having fun

Unwind in the morning and relax

The world is turning slightly faster every day

Circadian rhythms control moods

Tired and sleepy night time beckons

Time loses us sometimes…

Infinity pools together..

Karma?

Recently….

Someone explain… First my car broke, now the water supply to the bathroom is bust. I had a flood on Sunday. And my fridge is freezing things, my microwave is on the way out, my hoover stopped working, and today my oil heater conked! Plus I had to sort out my phone… And the fence blew over..
I said I don’t mind having bad luck.. But this is ridiculous! Things must get better soon..

Someone’s got to have it…

Random photo

I was talking to a friend I haven’t seen for ages and started telling her my recent history and illnesses. She asked how I coped and I said “well someone’s got to have these things, if I do then I’m taking on something so someone else doesn’t have to”. And I realised that’s exactly how I feel!

I don’t feel crushed or annoyed. I don’t feel too hard done by. I just think “OK, so let me just deal with it”, take the medication. So what if I rattle as long as I can keep going.

Don’t get me wrong, I am really fed up at the moment. The world is flummoxing  me. It’s crazy, and selfish, and cruel. We can’t escape the creators of the chaos. But I will accept my life for now.