Clearing memories

WordPress keeps telling me my phone is full. I know! I keep trying to delete photos but it’s almost impossible. There are thousands of them. There’s lots of other things, I am not sure of half of what’s on here….

So I think I will have to buy more memory. Its funny how real memories are subsumed into a digital memory. If you don’t have a photo of it, it didn’t happen? Case in point, the recent death and funeral of the Queen. People have always recorded their lives throughout the ages, for example look at cave paintings. Then art throughout the ages, paintings for people who could pay, or sketches by people who had the means or ability to draw or paint. Then deguerreotypes (not sure of the spelling) became popular, painted portraits turned into slow motion photos that took time to take and heads had to be clamped in place to get a clear image. Box brownies, single lens reflex, eventually digital cameras, then phones which took a few photos. Now, the mobile phone is a hand held computer… But it still gets full.

The human mind can hold more information, but it’s not stored in a logical order. Links from the past suddenly reach out and grab your attention. Clearing a human brain of memory is not a good thing, and unless it happens through illness, age or injury, causing degradation of the brain structure, it is to be hoped that people can build memories (good or bad?), not lose them.

Jumper time

Wearing a jumper tonight. But I think I’m lucky, I have the money to buy a jumper. I can afford to put the heating up if I want. I have a roof over my head that hasn’t been damaged by the weather or fire or flooding. I have shops nearby I can go to, and a library I could visit if I want to stay warm. The world is a strange place. I am in a situation that a large percentage of the world would love to be in. But eighty men have more money between them than half the world’s population (about four billion). And now the UK government has given tax cuts to the richest here. In fact if you earn less than £100,000 a year you will be worse off.

Does fairness exist in the world? Yes, but not enough to go round. People are mostly uncaring, or worse still, selfish. So if you can, think of someone worse off than you, and try and help if you can. You could do that by physically or mentally helping, or even voting for monetary or environmental benefits.

Up and down

At the moment I’m up and down. One minute trying to plan things, the next remembering what has happened. Disbelief is my main emotion. That and loss. I feel like writing things down is helping a bit, so I’m here, blogging and sharing my thoughts. I hope that’s OK for people. I’m gradually working things out, grateful that I have hubby, friends and family there for support. When you lose a relative it’s a shock. I have cried, I will cry again, how long for, I don’t know. Its turmoil and chaos sometimes, then I calm down for a while. X

Regrets

The world is mixed up today. Something happened and I think it’s too personal and painful to recount here, so I’m not mentioning names, but I am writing to sort my thoughts out a little.

I have so many regrets, things I didn’t do, words I didn’t speak. Silence I didn’t break. Not because I was being mean, but because I lost track of time, I forgot to remember to keep in touch. And now I can’t speak, I can’t phone. Your voice has gone. Lost. Not forgotten, but hard to remember.

Years go by, we were not close, but we understood each other. Now there is nothing. I have consolation, hubby, family and friends, but I’m so sad. Goodbye. That’s all I can think.

Temperature

Tonight’s temperature °C

Here’s a bit of blank verse,

We are lucky not to be too cold.

It’s nineteen point two

A slight chill in here

Two small lights on

Saving energy?

So I have a dressing gown

Or a cardigan

To wear.

I will buy a hot water bottle.

No gas fire this autumn or winter

Central Heating?

When it’s too cold.

An electric heater otherwise.

Gas costs more than electricity here

I can’t afford double what we paid

Last year.

Well at least I’m not heating up

The environment, too much.

Trying to save money

My tickets have been cancelled

I can’t afford to pay

The prices just keep going up

By day and day and day.

I want to give to charity

I want to share my funds

But if I don’t reduce my costs

There just won’t be enough.

So small cut here and over there

It won’t save very much

But one day things will be better

Then I will resume my trust

I worry if I don’t save costs

I will go totally bust!

Insomnia again, no!

My mind is spinning again, and my body has been spinning in bed, left side, back, right side, left side, right, back, left…..

Sheet covering me, duvet and sheet, no sheet… Too hot, too cold. Pain in my toes, pain in my knee, back, neck..

Twisting and turning so much, it might be a dance. Now my guts are joining in, discomfort, so I’ve come down for a decaff coffee. Soon I’ll be back in bed. But while I’m here, at 5.15am, why not just check out my phone for stories, funny memes, memories, jokes…… Put it down! Put. It. Down…

Good morning x dawn will be breaking soon.

New Prime minister

Our new Prime minister is a woman. She is choosing her cabinet at the moment which is very diverse. That’s great, but most of them are her supporters. Where are the people to quietly tell her that her ideas may be wrong? Sycophantic behaviour is not good for running a country. There are dictators who have yes men telling them their ideas are wonderful. But at this time of crisis we need people who are serious about changing things, taking sensible decisions rather than populist policies that grab headlines. I know I’m being political, but sometimes you have to say something.

Things she needs to deal with: inflation, cost of living, the environment, national health service, climate change, social care, crime. Who would want the job?

Flowers abstract

I need to get my paints out again. Doodling abstracts on my phone is OK, but I’ve hit a bit of a block at the moment. I have an easle set up on a chair but it’s covered in post and bits of paperwork. I think it’s because of having shingles. A lot less painful but I’m not getting out much. I haven’t done things I planned to do like going for walks with my hubby. Now the nights are drawing in. Soon the clocks will go back and it will be darker earlier in the day. Sorry for the meh post!