Ripples

Ripples remembered on the beach at Rhyl. Memories of walking on that beach as a child. The gently sloping beach would allow you to walk in shallow water as the tide came in or went out. I remember walking over those ridges that were quite hard, my little feet could feel them, they don’t flatten as your weight goes onto them if you are a child. Rhyl beach is long and wide when the tide is out. When I was small I wandered off to paddle in the sea. But when I turned round I couldn’t see my family anywhere. It was before I found out I needed glasses and it was only a kind person who took me to the lifeguard station where they used the tannoy that helped me to get reunited. On the same holiday I think I wandered into someone else’s caravan because it looked like ours? I must have been about six as I got glasses aged seven.

The vets

Before he went missing

Today has been busy. My cat came home at 3am, his legs and mouth had some sort of tarry substance on them. He came in and drank water for about ten minutes, then I wiped his eyes and mouth and legs gently to remove some of whatever was on him. I even trimmed some fur off his tail because it was so gummy.

Today I had a good look at him, one of his eyes looked strange and he was still very thirsty so I took him to the vets.

I found out he has an ulcer on one eye and he has damaged his mouth possibly from trying to bite through or on something. He’s lost a lot of weight too. We still don’t know where he’s been. Tonight he’s on a drip at the vets but he should then be able to come home. I hope he will be OK.

Gone, not gone?

My heart hurts

I miss you so much

I stroke your shadow

In my imagination

The way you purred

And pranced

Jumped high

Balanced like a gymnast

My podgy puddy cat

Leaned back and looked up

Paw high

Reaching

Waiting to nuzzle my hand

My memories

My dreams

You are still there.

Like Schrodinger’s Cat

Gone, not gone?

Lingering

Stuck

Do you ever just get stuck in your thoughts. Lost and not quite sure what to do or where to go. Marathon prevarication. Held back by thinking too much. And heat doesn’t help. You wait in hope that it might cool down. Your mind isn’t working, it’s fused in place, clunking, square thoughts jammed in a round hole. You just want to break out of it. Find a way through. Maybe in a while I will feel more like myself.

Go back to the sea.

Along the pier

Walk out to Sea

Across the tide

My life to be?

An old man thinks

Of times gone by

Boyhood days

Of gulls and skies.

Of storms and fog

Waves rolling high.

A girl goes skipping

The length of the pier

In the arcades

Candy floss, she cheers.

A woman now

Looks back in time.

Worm eaten memories

Are lost in rhyme.

From young to old

Each person’s regrets

Are tied together

In their own nets.

Sea and sand

Cliffs and rock

All remembered

As the gulls flock.

Sewing kit

All oof my cotton thread has been disappearing over the last few months. I was beginning to think we had borrowers like in the Mary Norton book ‘the Borrowers’, or maybe some magic elf Taylor using it to do invisible mending on worn clothes?

But no. I found my hubby winding my cotton thread around a mast and spars he’s attached to a toy motor boat. He’s taken the engine out. Why? Because he was having problems with the battery pack. So instead of getting a new one he decided to glue and tape the masts and cardboard sails to it. He’s been using the cotton to support the spars and mast. The boat looks like someone on Waterworld or Mad Max has been at it. It’s steam punk meets origami! I won’t show you a photo. I did find out he’s modified it a few times, and each time he’s used my cotton thread! Boo!

Walking

I like a wooded track to walk along, away from roads and fumes, especially if its a link between two places I want to get to and from. But strangely I don’t like to walk in woodland. I worry I will get lost. I’ve walked around some places and lost track of where we were. I even tried looking for the moss on the side of the trees to see if I could decide which way was north! Luckily the sun came out so I could tell which way was west, then I saw a way marker! I can’t imagine going to somewhere in a wood in the countryside and finding my way out! You can tell I’m nervous of it because of the number of exclamation marks I’ve used!

But a gentle walk along a wooded path in the town? That’s fine… Funny how different things affect different people.

Grr

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Grr, I’m a tiger, I like this picture of me. It’s me and it isn’t.

I wish I’d done this as a face painting. But it’s on a phone app. That’s why it doesn’t quite fit to my face.

I don’t remember it blurring the area around my face. But only my hair. Weird.

I think of the words ‘Tyger, tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye, could frame thy fearful symmetry?

One day there might not be any Tigers left, then all we will have are photos, film and art. The memory of great creatures, small creatures, so many plants and animals that no longer exist…

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You looked out in May

So proud and keen

Your profile reflected in glass

In the window.

Sure you would keep safe.

The sky would not fall…

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Now you have dissolved,

Lost your identity.

Impaled on shards of humanity.

Sifted and sprinkled

With covid 19.

Stay safe they said

As you disappeared.