Don’t you know?

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Don’t you know I love you?

Don’t you know I care about you?

It’s bleak out here

It’s cold and grey.

My heart is lost, broken, destroyed.

It hurts that you don’t care,

It hurts that you’ve gone away,

You are here in body but not in spirit,

You changed before my eyes

Your memory has glazed over

Milky white, foggy, out of focus

I can’t break in, I can’t get close

I still love you

Won’t you remember to love me too?

Rocking horse

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Did I once have a rocking horse ?

How fast did it go,

Over hills, over fields,

Up mountain paths,

Down into dales and vales.

If I had a rocking horse

Where did it live?

In stables or a farm yard

Or the back bedroom in our house.

What colour was that rocking horse

Was it a bay?

A white maned charger

A gentle, dappled grey?

I once had a rocking horse,

So long ago

I don’t remember anything-

Where did it go?

Then I forgot

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I don’t remember anything after Saturday afternoon?

Who are you?

Where am I?

So many questions, I remember going to the park for a walk, I can see in my minds eye the youth on a motorbike, then I forget…. Its gone.

Who are you? A nurse? Who are they? My parents…..?

What did I do to get here?

Hello, yes I feel OK, just taking my pulse? My blood pressure….

Yes so you are my doctor?

There was a boy on a motorbike, I can see him in my minds eye. Where was that?

I need to sleep. Dreaming, remembering, she sees the park, the ducks running for the bread she was feeding them. The motorbike comes through the park gate, along the path, speeding, roaring. Breaks and skids to avoid the ducks and hits her hard….

Waking, the memory fades, she sees time reverse, only now she’s further down the path. The ducks are still on the lake. The sun is shining on her face. Heat. Her face is hot…..

Who am I?

Why am I here? I remembered, but then I forgot.

2012 jotting

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I was just reading through my Facebook page and came across this:

Morning world. this is the last time I get my partner up for work early on Sunday as his firm have decided from next week to make it a noon shift (Too many people not turning in after a night on the town?) anyway I watched the sky lighten in the East over the last half hour, first the sky between the clouds turned deep blue then lightened, the cloud tops yellowing then the dark grey of the clouds gradually became a mid grey shade. I watched to see if the street lights would go out but most are still on, just looking dimmer against the brightening sky. Then I remembered the world is turning not the sun rising…. I imagine the movement, thousands of miles an hour as this house and town and city, with me standing looking out of the window at the top of the stairs all moves rapidly and the suns light creeps over the horizon, with the bright morning stars ( if I could see past the houses and shops and clouds) heralding the first bright glimpse of the sun…..

Canal

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Yesterday I was chatting with an artist from Spode. He had done a lovely painting of trees on the macclesfield canal, with light streaming through the leaves. I didn’t take a photo¬† but it looked a bit like this drawing. With blocks of pale green and yellow shining through the vegetation. I can only give a slight idea of what it looked like with this technique. The artist had used a Palette knife to create depth and slanted shadows .

I realise I can’t get an accurate representation. But it gives you an idea of how it looks.

New phone full?

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I’ve found this new phone so light and easy to use in comparison with my tablet that I’ve been using it for all sorts of things on the Internet. Unfortunately that means I’ve filled the sd card up so it’s saving stuff to the internal memory. Which is getting very full too. I guess all my images are clogging it up.

I think I will have to revert back to using the tablet which also slows down as I keep putting images on it. You would think there would be more memory, so all my stuff would be OK but I’m always messing about with things, for instance duplicating photos to make the image above.

I don’t know whether saving things to the cloud might be an idea? Or getting a little external USB hard drive if that’s even possible?