Too many

Oh I get fed up, too many emails, I keep deleting them, but sometimes they reappear in my inbox. I have to admit I don’t know how many I actually have. I keep some from friends that I have had for years. I just don’t know if I can delete them, they are my contact with the past… What do you do? How much memory do they take up? Should I delete the lot?

Keeping in touch.

I’ve realised how out of touch I have got with some people. It’s not deliberate, but I’m one of these out of sight, out of mind people. I tend to be aware of things in the ‘now’, and the past is gone. It’s helpful because I don’t dwell on bad things from the past, but on the other hand it makes me forget to keep in touch with old friends. Can you know too many people? I don’t think so. But I can’t hold them all in my head! So my intention is to try and at least say hi once a month…. I need to remind myself to do it…..

A dear friend

I painted my cat sitting at the top of the stairs behind a flower pot several years ago. I just saw this on my Facebook memories as I no longer own the painting. She was a very loving cat and lived to at least twenty years old. (She was a stray when we took her in). She was very clever and used to ride on my shoulders when I walked round the house or the garden. I’ve painted and drawn many of my cats but she was the one I painted the most. X

Felt OK

Last night I went out to choir practice for the first time in several weeks. I wrote this gratitude about it when I got home. When I got there I couldn’t help crying, but a friend came over and calmed me down. We are now the mystery singers for the Christmas season so we were singing songs like Gaudete and Sweet Chiming Bells. Finally we sang While Shepherds watched their flocks by night to the tune of on Ilkley Moor Bah’tat, (although the Carol song might have come first?). By the end of the night I felt OK. So I am very glad I went.

Life drawing

Today, after a very bad night’s sleep, I got up and decided to go to the Orme Art Group today. We had booked a life model to sit for us and I didn’t want to miss it. I had bought new ink pens and black sharpie pens to use in my sketchbook. This drawing took a couple of hours, I wanted to capture the patterns on her skirt and scarf and the autumn leaves outside the window. I think this went well and I’m pleased with it. Going out and talking to the friends in the group really helped.

Added leaf

When the exact size and shaped leaf falls on your picnic plate. I moved it over to line up with the stem. I had to take a photo

Today was a good one. I sang, I laughed, I cried and I felt supported by friends and by the world. I found a plastic heart that had fallen off a picture and was stuck with bluetack to the bottom of my slipper. But that bit of plastic was whole, not broken. A sign? Perhaps, I took the decision to accept it as that and it made me smile.

My muddled brain

Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.

Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.

Comfort cat

Our boy cat is sitting half on a cushion, half on my hubbies lap. This is unusual, he’s always been quite nervous. He will normally sit or lie between us on a cushion between the two arm chairs. He sometimes puts his paws on me, but even now, after a few years, he’s still quite nervous. That’s because he was abandoned by his previous owners and he was living outside for a couple of years. At least now he trusts us after a lot of love and encouragement. Finally, he’s being a lap cat x.

Cat coming in

Head up, he sees me. Murrup, purr, miaow he says in greeting. Coming in for a bit of food and a drink. Sometimes he sits next to me and reaches his paws out. Just touching my hand on the arm of the chair. He’s saying hello, I’m here. Sometimes he curls up between us and goes to sleep. Then another cat comes in, looks up lovingly. This one jumps up on my knee and starts kneading and poddling with sharp claws. He settles on my leg next to the big cat, he’s medium sized and slightly older than the first. Finally she comes in, claws up into my leg, stretching and yawning, a little nervous around my hubby, dodging his hand but then head butting mine. Three cats, love them all.