A couple of days off…

Artrage app finger painting

A few days ago it would have been my hubby’s birthday. He is not here anymore and I felt too sad to blog here. Also my phone is playing up so I might struggle to post till I get a new battery, which means finding somewhere to do that. I don’t want a replacement for my phone (or hubby). I prefer to get things fixed if I can.

My hubby was not fixable, I can’t tell you how much I wish things had been different. I still feel lost without him. I think grief is not controllable, you have to go with its ways, sometimes succumbing to  the pain…. Despite wanting to make it go away. I just want to remember him always, even if I do feel blue….

Disappointed

My sister was going to visit this weekend but she’s got to work. I was really looking forward to seeing her. We would have bought some plants for the yard and I would have twisted her arm to help me put them in the pots round there.

I feel like I’ve abandoned my garden. I can’t do as much as I used to, I need to be stable and not risk falling over. Friends are busy and I have got into a situation where I don’t want to ask for help. I’m as disappointed in myself as anything else. I’m losing my ability to want to keep going.