Shiver and shake..

My arm and hand (left) keep wobbling and shaking. I think it’s because I’ve got muscle wasting, which is because od my frozen shoulder…. If you watch a kestrel hovering it’s body is buffeted by the wind but its head stays still. My hand is not like that! My hand shakes and I stab at my phone keyboard. Half the time I miss and hit the wrong letters. This has got to get better. The tension in my shoulders is like the weight of the world…. Why do I have to hold it up?

Sore shoulder

Three months on and I’m still doing exercises set by the physiotherapists a while ago. I’m still in pain, but it’s getting a bit better. I am trying to stretch my arm up above my head. And I also have to try the build up my shoulder muscles. Frozen, or in my case, a freezing shoulder is not very nice. I hope it’s going to get better over the next few months. X

splodges…

A few weeks ago I was happier,

painting splodges for a college project,

letting colour flow

and wrap itself into my mind

warping patterns

playing with inking rollers

freedom.

Then I was sick

nothing serious,

not covid

not anything really

just pain

continuing.

I have an appointment tomorrow

to check my pain

sort it out

Make it go away…

please.

then I shall sleep,

not wake hourly

gripped by a twisted cramp.

please.

Pain in my shoulder

My pain is explained! I have a freezing shoulder. Not frozen yet, but on the way. There may be ligament damage and the bursa in the joint may be swollen. I’ve got to talk to the pharmacist about antiinflammatories. It explains why I can’t lift my arm up, sideways or backwards. It explains why I can’t sleep. Now to start doing exercises to prevent it getting worse. Phew….

Heated wheat bag

My shoulder has decided to play up, I’m in a lot of pain, I’m trying to get a doctors appointment but in the meantime I’ve got a lavender scented wheat bag that you microwave and then put on the affecting ed area. It smells nice but I’m not sure it’s actually helping. Maybe I need embrocation! The worst thing is how tired I feel. That’s why I’ve not been here today….

Sore shoulder

It’s been about six weeks now since I think I hurt my shoulder. The doctors agreed I needed physios they sent me a letter to book an appointment. But there are no appointments. I’m still in pain and no further forward. I wonder if things will ever get back to normal (shoulder and life). I think it’s partly to do with tension. I haven’t got depressed but I seem to always be hunching my shoulders up. I might try and get to yoga again if it starts up again.

When I think about it though I can manage, I have been managing. What about all the people who never get treatment. Who live in poverty in rich and poor countries where health treatment is based on expensive insurance that doesn’t cover existing health issues. I know how lucky I am.

Sore hand

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Ow, washing my hands all the time, washing up, cleaning, my hand, particularly my right one is getting very sore. I use the mildest of detergents, but something in them makes my skin bubble up and peel.

I try using hand cream but it doesn’t help much. I wonder what I can do. Find something with aloe Vera? Or coconut milk? I need something. I can’t use steroid cream. Sorry to moan!

Tension

sketch-1588877302067

I wake on a cliff edge.

Teetering, tottering..

Tension racks my shoulders

Stiff, creaking joints.

Sleep does not touch the tightness.

I feel like bones will break.

Mentally I’m OK,

Physically I’m OK

But my mind is tying my body in knots.

Spine fused with tension.

Like a gathering storm.

Waves waiting to break,

Teeth ground to sand.

Life fights.

Thunder clashes overhead.

Will I fall?

Will I stand.

Still.

 

Toothache

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You don’t need to see my teeth, just know I grind them at night and something has caused me to have toothache. Argh! It’s worse now because of this cold, my throat is sore and it’s hard to put up with the extra pain from my tooth. I  will try and get in the dentists tomorrow. Sucking madly on  anaesthetic sore throat lozenges and have taken pain killers. I’m also using toothpaste for sensitive teeth BUT ARGH, I shall try and sleep…..