Cats

You can’t escape them. If they want to climb up your leg and stick their claws in, or jump across the room to get on your shoulder? Then they will spring athletically with powerful muscles and grip on like grim death!

Food? You want to share? No… But they look at you with those great big eyes and you are hypnotised. But they are such good companions (which means when it suits them, not you) it’s amazing how a three to four kilo animal can pin down a human, who then apologises when the time comes to move them. Dead weight? Surely cats weigh more!

Cats have their own minds. They don’t like being controlled. You can’t pick them up if they don’t want to be. They squirm, and watch out for the claws!

They have their skills, catching rodents. But why do they have to leave you a ‘little gift?’ that cartoon image of a mouse with crosses for eyes springs to mind.

So you want to read the paper hooman?

you’ve got to come through me!

Don’t dare think you can read this

Tis mine not yours I say!

Tis my bed and I’ll lie on it

So just you go away!

I’ll not let hooman near it,

My claws are sharp and curved.

My comfort is important.

No I’ll not be moved today!

(she got off and walked away!)

Tummy rub?

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Dare you? Sometimes when a cat rolls over and shows you it’s belly it’s being friendly, and sometimes not. Beware if you reach your hand over. You can be grabbed by the front paws and kicked by the cats back legs, and don’t forget the teeth! major damage can ensue. I’m not saying disaster will happen but its worth watching for twitching tail and grabbing paws with claws out. If you don’t you can end up at the sharp end of your cat!

He’s looking at me

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Warning, discussing carnivore thoughts.

You know you are truly owned by a car when it sits on the fridge and stares at you. Where is my cat milk? It seems to say. Is it properly chilled? Not too cold, but just enough to cool the cat on a warm afternoon.

Is there roast chicken in the fridge for him. Delicately flavoured with just the right amount of jelly juices.

You know you are owned when the cat looks down at you, then puts his paw out and catches the shoulder of your tee shirt, claw holding firm and stopping you in your tracks.

If cats could speak what would they say? Probably feed me. Hold me, look after me. Sort out my litter tray, human.

What do we get for this care? Kneeding paws that turn to claws, licked boyyoms then they lick your hand, ew! But you can’t fight those eyes. Those staring eyes.

Tickle? Or not……

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My cat does not like his belly rubbing or tickling even if he lies like this! Tickle his chin, that’s fine. Try and give him a belly rub, and the claws come out. He has to be extremely relaxed for me to dare to tickle him. I’ve got lots of scratches and puncture wounds in the months after we got him. Now I know him, I keep my hands away from those claws. I think it’s like fishing, he tempts you close, then – pounce, he’s got the back of your hand or a finger. Ouch!

Claws out

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I have the claw marks to prove it. She’s a lovely cat but she likes climbing up my leg instead of jumping up onto my knees.

This is also spider chaser extreme. Which is fine until she knocked over a bottle of shampoo and the liquid ran all over the floor and behind the sink, that was messy to clear up.

What else? She’s the cat that lies under the mat, she rolls toys under it then pulls them back out by lying on her side and using her claws to try and reach the toy. She also hides behind coats that are hung up and pounces on her brother. She also climbs up on the window behind the curtains and trys pulling at the net curtains. She’s almost knocked the TV off its stand! She’s a really bouncy cheeky cat!