Time management!

Not my artwork!

What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?

I need to start going to bed earlier. I’m always up late and it’s not good, then I get insomnia and I get up late. It’s a real dilemma to face. Not working also means I don’t have a routine to follow, and recent events have made me worse. I need to get out in the sunshine and boost my vitamin D but it’s easier to sit and feel anxious.

How do I do one thing to get me going again? Perhaps I should set my alarm every morning? Yes I could sleep through it, but at least it might give me the incentive to do things. Normally by the time I get up its after noon….

Why? Social media to some extent, and a constant need to watch the news. I’m caught in that dopamine trap of wanting to keep checking my phone, and yet I want to break away from it. I don’t read click bait but I do look at sites about politics a lot. I’m well informed. But why? it just ups the anxiety levels..


Cat on the bed

Heat seeking cat… I went to the bathroom and came back to this! He must have snuck in while I was downstairs. Made himself at home, comfy and warm and in my spot! It isn’t helping my insomnia, but he looks so cozy I don’t want to just kick him off! But I guess he will have to move or I will be relegated to my old armchair! He’s so sweet, he’s stretched out his paws and put them next to my hand… Now he’s rolled over to show his belly! Sweet, and cheeky cat!

Wound up

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

You have to relax and unwind sometimes. But it can be difficult. Those that know me will understand that I use art to relax me. I draw or sketch. But the problem is that I can already be too wound up to begin drawing. Sometimes I will try and do some breathing exercises, six breaths in, hold for three, six out, hold for three. I do that for a few minutes to calm my breath. I learnt it from yoga class.

My worst situation for unwinding is when I go to bed. I suffer from various health issues and try various techniques to relax. Breathing, or trying to see a golden healing light when I close my eyes. The imagined light enters your head as you breathe in and descends to your feet, then as you breathe out it travels back up and out of your head. It’s hard to describe, but it sometimes works. Imagination is a good thing, learning to control thoughts. I’m hoping it might help my insomnia, even if it’s only a slight improvement….

Other times I just look at my phone. It’s really bad I know, but I go into my own little world and ignore the rest of it. I switch off my mind to my hubbys voice sometimes. I think its rude of me, but I feel cocooned and detached from worries. Maybe not the best thing to do.

The painting of the governor is an example of my work, where I spent hours painting it, concentrating until my hands and shoulders ached. Mentally unwound, but perhaps physically the opposite!

Sleepy (insomnia diary)

Digital drawing using textures

Five hours sleep, that’s not bad for me. I woke up twice in the night, and on the third gave up and got up. I feel so tired, I have things to do, an appointment to keep. Just had breakfast and I’m nodding off… I don’t know how many times I’ve dropped my phone on the floor because it’s slipped out of my hands. I sometimes manage to catch it, but my old phone had a cracked screen because I dropped it so often.

I think I’ll take a nap for an hour!

I’m late!

The white rabbit was at the New Victoria Theatre, artist unknown.

Time, delay, late, always late.

I can’t sleep due to insomnia. So when and if I do sleep I can’t always get up.

So I’m late, it takes me time to get ready, I have the best intentions, but by the time I’m sorted out its sometimes too late to get things done or go somewhere. I do hate it, thank goodness I don’t have early starts at work like I used to.

My car clock broke (I think its mechanical mechanism froze this winter), so I don’t rush to appointments any more, I’m not trying to beat the clock as it isn’t there. I have to try and work the time out by listening to the radio. If the shipping forecast is on I know it’s either very early or late at night!

Dawn chorus 5am

Imagined view of our garden with bird singing. Too dark to really see.

It’s just after 5am now. I got up because my toes hurt (gout?) on the other foot to the one I had broken my toenail on. Long boring story…

Anyway it’d still dark so I’m sitting here by the light of a standard lamp and trying to sleep with my foot uncovered so there’s no pressure on it.

But through the window I can hear the lilting song of what I think is either a Robin or a Blackbird. I haven’t heard them in the morning during the winter, so I guess spring might just be on the way. It’s lovely to hear them, possibly marking out their territory in the tangled trees and bushes we call our garden. Mind you they have to be aware of the local cats. Mine are all inside snuggled up, but I hope they are singing high up in the branches. X

Oh my toes!

I’ve noticed my big toes are hurting again. They really are sore and when I try and sleep at night I have to pull the covers off them because the pressure of the duvet on them hurts and keeps me awake. Then I have to try and cover them up a bit because they get cold!

I was diagnosed with gout in my feet, then thumb a couple of years ago but I forgot. I’ve got quite a few things wrong with me and I don’t always remember all of them. I just keep taking the tablets. I hope I don’t moan about things too much, but sometimes things are maddening. But insomnia is debilitating, anything that can help me get to sleep and stay asleep would be good. Sometimes meditation takes my mind off things, perhaps I will try that tonight…

Posting at 4am


And….. The insomnia has kicked in again! Achey arm, scringing toes, too warm, aching back. Thoughts whirl and I can’t rest. Thought of putting the radio on for quiet or white noise, but I can never retune the thing and if I have it on low my instinct is to struggle to hear the news. Plus my sleep aponea mask sometimes hisses in my face. I’ve had a new mask but the hose connecting it to the machine is the wrong size and sometimes disconnects if I turn over in bed. Sorry to moan…