Sleepless

Sleepless, no dreams to tie my mind down. Only the dull drumming of my pulse in my ear. The ache of a big toe constricted by bed clothes. The air on my face shushing as my CPAP machine quietly stops my palette from collapsing. Aching shoulders gripped with tension. The tiredness continues, but I am awake. I try different ploys, reading by low lamplight until the book thuds to the floor, which generally wakes me up again. Multiple thoughts whirl around my head, they are like several butterflies or fireflies all swirling around. Try and pin one under a finger and another flits off towards the ceiling or the floor. Gouty aches twist my limbs. Was I ever so uncomfortable? I know I need to get up and use the bathroom, stubbornness and the hope of sleeping hold me in place for a few minutes, then I swing my legs out of bed and grapple with my balance before venturing down creaky stairs into the cold. Once again, like on many other nights, I make myself a warm drink to calm the shivers and try and relax. I may stay downstairs for half an hour, waiting for my hubby, who I disturbed, to get back to sleep. Often on returning to bed I put the radio on low on a speech channel, I don’t like music playing, but often I get drawn into a programme, the sound so soft it becomes hard to detect what is being said and my brain tries to decipher the words. At some stage I will either drift into sleep or get up and turn off the radio. Often the dawn is breaking before I finally get any rest. Sometimes I remember to try relaxation techniques. Or repeating the word ‘the’ over and over in my head. Sometimes I even stay downstairs and try and sleep in my armchair. Tonight might be one of those…..

Got in!

Just got a phone call. I’ve got my barn owl painting into the Brampton Open exhibition. I’m very pleased. I’ve got to pick the other one up but that’s OK, they were completely different styles so it gave me a bit more of a chance depending on what the selectors wanted. It will be up at the Brampton Museum and art gallery in Newcastle under Lyme from 24th September 2022 for a month.

Sleep

Sleep, a wonderful thing. Dreaming of creatures, as long as they aren’t monsters. And if they are monsters then as long as they are friendly ones? My monster is insomnia, when the dreams WON’T come. When the dreams that do appear flit past my eyes for a second and are then gone. Like a butterfly snatched by a cat, or a dragonfly grabbed by a pike. Then awake again I have to watch the seconds click by. Close my eyes and the world swirls sideways. I need rest!

Lunar Eclipse, thanks spaceweather.com

Just got an email about this. I don’t think I will be up, and it’s cloudy here…

Space Weather News for May 15, 2022
https://spaceweather.com
https://www.spaceweatheralerts.com

TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE–TONIGHT: The full Moon is about to pass through the shadow of Earth, reddening the lunar disk for almost an hour and a half. Totality begins at 11:29 pm EDT on May 15th (03:29 UT on May 16th). This eclipse could be a deeper darker red than usual because of lingering exhaust from the Tonga volcano. Full story @ Spaceweather.com

Tired

Watching a film about Shakespeare after he had finished writing plays and returned home to Stratford on Avon. I drew my husband last night, and I’m struck by the similarity of their profiles. Now I’m tired, I want to watch the film (starring Kenneth Branagh) but I didn’t sleep at all last night. Its almost midnight and I need a rest. Goodnight world.

The Moon’s out

A glint, a glimmer through the clouds. Blue sky darkening. Sunlight catches the side of the moon, there is a hint of where the Sun is, down and to the right of the moon. About thirteen times a year the moon is in this stage of its phases. I’m not sure, but because most months are thirty one days (four are thirty days, one is twenty eight or twenty nine and seven are thirty one) this adds up to twenty nine or thirty extra days over the year. If we had thirteen actual months, not lunar months in a year, what would we call the thirteenth? Lunary? Lol