Awake

Woke up to a blue sky with patchy clouds. Do you look for things in the clouds? I thought I could see Yoda in this photo from a few days ago (bottom half of the photo). Strange how the mind works. I guess it’s because you have to be awake and aware as a human being. Maybe you need to see possible threats so pattern recognition is a good thing. I’ve often written about my ability to see patterns. Pareidolia is what it’s called. But yes it’s good to be awake and seeing blue skys. But we do need rain.

Cat 6.30am

While I was writing this morning all three cats came upstairs to see me. This is one of the boy cats. FURRY NINJAS, pounce on anything. It’s fun to watch them all interact. You can catch them eyeing up the warmest places to sleep. One of them will move and another will take its place. A noise from a cupboard? A cat is washing, or snoring! Life with cats is fun.

One hour!

That’s how much sleep I got last night. My hubby has a cold and was coughing and snoring. He hurt his leg a week ago and can’t get comfortable. I think I’m having another attack of gout as my feet and hands hurt. I couldn’t get comfortable and as I’ve cut down on the central heating it means the bedroom is cold at night. A fight over the duvet ensued. So I came downstairs and read for a couple of hours. I knew I was supposed to get up and go somewhere. That didn’t help. In the end I fell asleep at about 9am then woke up at 10am. I should have been out at the meeting. In the end I gave up and sent my apologies. I went back to sleep at about midday and woke up just after 3pm. Another night of insomnia! Is it any wonder that I fall asleep in the day!

Sleepless in Stoke

My minds a whirl..

Little thoughts track big ones

Trickle through my brain

Like sand in a puzzle

Clogging up the workings

No smooth calmness

Jumping clumps of

Dark matter

Or spaghetti goo

What does that meant

To you?

Nothing, random

Overactive

Spiced with tinges

Of pain

Let me sleep

Not that tune

Again!

my old friend

insomnia

Yes, its almost 3.30am. No I can’t sleep. Yes, the neighbours security light keeps flashing on and off….flash.. flash…No, I can’t calm my thoughts, yes, I tried counting sheep. Yes, I just had a warm drink (decaff coffee). Yes, I am tired. No, I do’t know if I should be sticking commas after Yes, and No,. Yes, I WANT to sleep. Yes, his snoring doesnt help! No I can’t count sheep, they get blurry and disappear. No, it doesn’t help having to wear a mask for sleep aponea at night. Yes, I am too hot, but the house is too cold when I get out of bed. Yes I AM looking at a screen, which I know is bad for sleeping! Yes, aches and pains are NOT helping.

Yes, I try relaxation, sometimes it works, not tonight. Whats bugging me? I need to try and sort a friends problems out. No, I can’t tell her I don’t think I can help- I’m her friend. Yes, Covid is worrying me a lot. Yes, I’m very hot and bothered…. No- THIS IS NOT Helping! Oh well, better go back and TRY and SLEEP…

Hello Insomnia, my old friend, you’re keeping me awake again… its 3.40am- again.

Insomnia

I can’t sleep, so I don’t dream, on the hour every hour, I look at the alarm clock. Tick tock, tick tock. Put the radio on low sometimes. The murmur might send me to sleep, but then it wakes me up if there is serious news or something interesting. Having a cat move in doesn’t help. He wants to go out at odd times. Yowl, miaow, he wakes me up. So another night goes by…

Hunker down

sketch-1584608662732

Hunker down,

Hide and sleep

Find your dreams

And hug them deep.

Find a space

Where you can live

Where things are quiet

And silence keep.

Make a nest

Make a bed,

Stay inside

But in your head

Take a flight

Around your room,

Then through the open window

Zoom!

Above the world

The air is clear

The sky is bright

Bird song, you hear.

Look down on streets

So still so quiet,

With hunkered people

Bunkered, still.

But you are free

And safe to soar

Flying high

No fear

Just dreams.

(from an idea inspired by Martha Kennedys blog ‘I am a writer, yes I am’.)

Awake 4. 29am

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In the kitchen, just wondering how to get to sleep. Have to wear a breathing mask at night, but when your nose is like a dripping tap things get awkward. You either push the mask aside and blow your nose, while getting the full force of the air coming through the machine like a cool hairdryer on full blast. Or you have to sit up, take the mask off fully and have a big blow, or combine it with getting a drink from the kitchen as your mouth is dry, which seems to encourage more mucus. I’m thinking of getting some hot lemon and honey again. It’s nice and soothing as my throat is sore too. Meanwhile the cat is sleeping in my chair so I don’t want to disturb him. The moon has sailed through the heavens and set and the fridge is making some weird crackling sounds. I guess I will have to listen to that for a bit in case it does something strange. I think it’s just expanding and contracting, it’s always been noisy since we got it. Now I’ve decided to pull it away from the wall a bit more so it gets better air circulation…. In the meantime the land of nod seems further away, my shoulders are tense and I need to go to an appointment at 9.15am. What’s the phrase I’m looking for? Cest la Vie? Something like that.