Meditation

At my old yoga class from twenty years ago, we used to meditate about a golden healing light that you could conjour up to relax and help heal aches and pains. Recently I remembered this, so when I am trying to sleep and struggling to stop circular and intrusive thoughts, I close my eyes and try and notice the flow of blood in the back of my eye. Sometimes I catch sight of a sparkly gold light flowing in waves across my vision. I don’t exactly know what it is, I think it’s linked to my pulse, but it’s definitely a visual thing, not imagined. I then think the words ‘golden healing light’ over and over as I watch the waves of light wafting across my vision. I don’t know if this would be of any help to anyone, but it’s an interesting phenomenon.

27 December

Still feeling rough

I guess this is like a diary entry. I’ve already put had this bug for probably more than two weeks. I think I caught it in a meeting that I went to, there were a lot of people I didn’t know there and at least one was coughing. I’ve tested negative again for covid, so I think I’ve caught something that must be doing the rounds. Lots of other people I know have it too. I feel I might be responsible! Symptoms include a sore throat, a cough which has really gone on my chest, and feeling shivery.

It’s only when I feel like this that I wonder how tiny viruses and bacteria can have such an affect on animals and humans. There must be a lot of them, and as your body tries to fight back does it release toxins? Bacteria and viruses try and get inside your cells and replicate, and your body tries to kill and expel them, but I don’t understand all the physiology. I just wish I was a cat and could sleep through feeling ill!

Feeling hot

It’s a cool day, and we don’t have the heating on, but I feel hot. I’m wearing a jumper so that might be the cause, but my guts ache too. I hope I’m not ill. I haven’t eaten anything strange, I made a nice chicken and pasta meal last night and it was thoroughly cooked. Basically lots of vegetables, some tomato pasta sauce, two small chicken breasts (apologies to vegetarians) and some multi coloured pasta. Tonight we are going to have pizza so I guess I’m in an Italian mood?

Other symptoms? I think the lethargy I’m feeling is still from sadness. It’s taking me a while to get over things. Maybe my immune system is a bit low? Or perhaps that’s just me guessing. Meanwhile life goes on. I’ll get a cup of tea and maybe doze for a while. The cat has just come up to say hello…

Hot buttered toast

When you get up after two hours lying awake at four o’clock in the morning and need comfort food. A lightly toasted slice of white bread and the spread of your choice, and a decaffeinated beverage helps. The first thing I thought last night when I woke up was ‘toast’, I’d got to take a tablet, and I didn’t want to take it on an empty stomach. I remember making toast for people for breakfast in one of my jobs. When all the residents had had theirs we were allowed a slice of toast and a cup of tea. A five minute rest in a hectic morning. And doesn’t it look good enough to eat? I’ve managed to get about three hours sleep in total and all I want to do is get back to bed. But the toast was lovely.

Sore throat

I don’t think it’s serious. I just have a sore throat, but I haven’t gone out today despite needing shopping and the chance of some entertainment. I just feel a bit hot and tired, but that could be age related (yay hot flushes, not) and it is humid. I went to bed this afternoon and tried to sleep but then hubby decided he wanted a conversation…. Out came grouchy me… Leave me alone me… But now I’m more awake but might go to bed early…

Not well

I feel unwell. Grey and cold, achey, tired. Under the weather.

I didn’t go for a walk yesterday or today. Unlike this photo the sun was shining in a bright blue sky, with fluffy white clouds scudding across it. Me? I keep falling asleep. I want to hibernate, like a little cold hedgehog. Tucking my head under the duvet and waiting for the headache and tummy upset to go away. Spikey and fed up, but not well enough to want to do anything about it.

😭

Normal service will resume as soon as possible….. Hopefully!