Everything feels grey.
Pain enfold you,
sucks you in
The world is small
your house is a cocoon,
hiding your body from the world.
Turning your face from the sun,
learning not to want
not to care,
not to bother,
feeling fed up,
being annoyed by everything.
Not knowing how to escape,
mind tied down
but unable to travel,
finding no way out
in a hole
The sound of disgust in my hubby’s voice as he utters this word. The total hate he has of doing this chore.
What can I do? I’m still sore and hobbling about from falling over on Sunday. I’ve not rested that much, I’ve washed up and cooked food. It’s just I’m still sore. Why doesn’t he understand that I need help? I’m not doing it deliberately. I found a hole in the bathroom door this morning where my head must have hit it! I am struggling to sleep as my side hurts so I’m using pain killing gel. But as I get more mobile I find other bits that hurt.
But shopping? It’s just not a man thing. Or cooking, it’s hard enough to get him to wash up. Antediluvian man!
Pickled onions, no- spring onions
Pork pie, no-a large block of cheese.
Coffee, no – a bag of spinach
Beetroot, no- 15 eggs
Tomato soup, no – a bottle of wine
Milk, no – pretend butter
Potatoes, no – sliced ham!
Items on the list bought 1. Items not on the list 7!
I give up!
Can you get me the Tiger Balm for my injured back please? I can’t use the anti inflammatory gel for another five hours. (no tigers involved just menthol) I asked my hubby to fetch it. Its in the bathroom on top of the cupboard.
Five minutes later he came back with some E45 cream in approximately the same sized tub. And a scented candle in a small jar – jasmine scented I think.
Come with me it’s on top of the cupboard. We went through into the bathroom. It wasn’t there anymore. It was there last night. Now, there are model trains and carriages, but no Thai tiger balm. What have you done with it I asked? I don’t know, I didn’t move it. Maybe the cats knocked it off. It might be in the box I tripped over? Getting frustrated now. It’s in the shed, I’ll look, he said.
Ten minutes later. No it’s not there. There is no way I can go out and check with him….
Must be the poltergeist, I said…..
I’ve just had a bad fall, tripped over a box of hubbys train bits in the bathroom. Hurt a finger, my elbow my knee and twisted my back. He shouted at me and called me stupid. He’s gone to buy a hot water bottle for my back (I’ve got a bag of frozen sweet corn on it at the moment). One minute I was going to get a wash, the next I flew through the air and landed heavily on the bathroom floor.
It’s an hour later. I’ve got gel painkiller on my back and the hot water bottle. I’m OK leaning backwards but then hard to lean forward again….
I’m fed up.