Felt OK

Last night I went out to choir practice for the first time in several weeks. I wrote this gratitude about it when I got home. When I got there I couldn’t help crying, but a friend came over and calmed me down. We are now the mystery singers for the Christmas season so we were singing songs like Gaudete and Sweet Chiming Bells. Finally we sang While Shepherds watched their flocks by night to the tune of on Ilkley Moor Bah’tat, (although the Carol song might have come first?). By the end of the night I felt OK. So I am very glad I went.

Purple for healing

I went to the opening of Arts and Minds which is a gallery and support space for veterans today. It is at Middleport in stoke-on-trent. They were selling crocheted poppies for remembrance day, but they also had a few purple poppies for healing. I bought one and am wearing it on my jumper near my heart. It’s symbolic of how I feel. My heart is breaking and needs to heal. I’ve tried to Kee busy today, but somehow feel sadder.

Mourning and bereavement

When you lose someone it is complex and confusing. Especially when it is a sudden event. First there is disbelief, and that keeps flooding back. I keep wanting to talk to the person who is gone. Then I swear at them! Angry with them. Asking why did it happen? It’s unbelievable and shattering. Everything is on hold, I can’t decide what to do for the best. I’ve talked to lots of people, shared some of my feelings. I hope that’s the right thing to do. Life seems bad at the moment but at least I’m still trying to cope. Sleep is another problem. If you see me here late at night I might just be trying to take my mind off things.

My writings awful

I am struggling to write since I hurt my wrist. If I hold a pen I get sharp pains shooting down from my thumb. The pressure I have to press down with is also making it hurt.

I’ve tried getting in the doctors but can’t get an appointment. I will try again. I looked the symptoms up on the Internet (not a good idea), I have an idea what might be causing it, but self diagnosis is not a good thing. I might be minimising or catastrophising…. Life is strange and interesting and can be confusing.

He’s better

He’s better, his eye will never completely heal but he can finally go out again for the first time in weeks.

I’m still keeping him in at night, especially now the nights are getting dark earlier. It’s also getting colder at night. There may be a frost in Scotland tonight.

But that means he can carry on recovering without hurting himself. Fingers crossed he will get even better. X

Ouch

Fed up with waiting for my pulled calf muscle to mend. I was trying to get my steps in, inside the house but I’ve had to give that up, it hurt too much. I’m trying to keep moving as much as I can. I still can’t climb upstairs or get in the bath for a shower. I’m taking pain killers and the painkilling gel I got from the doctors but am sleeping badly on the settee. Hubby has been so helpful and caring. I just want to be mobile again. Got to take the cat to the vets again on Friday. Last week a taxi didn’t turn up so I drove us there in second gear! I hope I don’t have to do that again. I’m going to be alright and people have helped.

I wish I knew how long this was going to take. I didn’t actually have a doctors appointment, I just told the receptionist what I’d done and then she rang back and told me there was a prescription waiting for me at the pharmacy. I am a bit tired and fed up.

Mending leg

I want to get back out again!

I’m still stuck downstairs in our little house but I have managed to get painkillers and pain relief gel from my doctors. Hopefully I will be upstairs soon but I tried the bottom step today. Hurts too much. Computer is upstairs…I still can’t do my college work. I’m not moaning but….. I’m getting more and more tired and fed up. The cat escaping didn’t help!

Cat again

Cat made up of tiny purple hearts.

He looks on happily

Proud and smug

He’s the boss

Whiskered and neat

Pure white feet

Sneaked out today

Lying in the neighbours yard

In the bright, late summer sun.

Wouldn’t come when called.

Puncture wounds?

In hubby’s arms

Cats claws leave scars

But he is safe.

Vets bill again

Tomorrow.