Tired

Another day of a bug. I don’t think it’s covid, I think it’s some sort of cold. I ache and I’m tired, but I don’t have the covid symptoms thankfully. I usually go outside wearing a mask. But one day last week I forgot. But as I was not going in any shops I thought I’d be OK. But perhaps someone sneezed or coughed? And I try to stop breathing for a few seconds as I walk passed people….

I guess there will be a lot less bugs about as we sheild ourselves from the Pandemic. But it doesn’t mean there aren’t other illnesses out there. Waiting for some throat or nose to lodge in, or to be caught on your hand by touching a surface with bacteria or viruses that have landed on it.

Life… A convoluted mix of luck and confusion.

In memoriam

Remember the family, remember their lives

Young people, taken before their time, in their twenties.

Ninteenth century losers in the lottery of life.

How did they die? Illness? Industrial accident? Food poisoning? TB? Who knows, but three people from the same family were lost.

Before antibiotics, before modern medicine. Life is precious. You never know when the grim reaper will strike?

And now? Death rates you would imagine during the black death. Loss of life and illness greater than World Wars. We can only hope that life will continue. But maybe changed? More peaceful, less stressful? We can only wait and see.

Don’t forget your mask!

Another friend and her son have tested positive for Covid19. I haven’t seen them for months but I’m very worried. Both are asymptomatic at the moment, I hope that continues. I just wish people would be careful…. Just a sneeze or a cough can spread droplets that land on door handles or chairs or plastic packaging. I had to fend someone off yesterday because she tried to hug me! I felt so close to going in for a hug, but I made an excuse about my sore shoulder. Everyone needs to be so careful.

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Corona virus going up again.

I hope I’m allowed to share this? Just watching the news and the amount of covid 19 is going up again in England. A second wave? The problem is across the nation and its passing up from younger people to older people.

So why has it happened? Was it because children went back to school, because more people were allowed to meet up? Because work places and pubs and restaurants opened up? Our government just has not got a grip on this. If we had kept the lockdown longer and tried using masks sooner maybe we wouldn’t be here.

Oh I despair of the people running things, not the NHS, they are still working so hard. But the bumbling idiot in charge of it all! I don’t mind being locked down again, but the government is against that…… Crazy…

tired out

people walking

That’s not what I’ve been doing this last week, in fact almost the exact opposite! I think I have realised what has been wrong with me. A bout of tonsillitis. It’s tired me out, I feel washed out and slightly dizzy. Today I actually left the house and did some shopping. I needed to get some watercolour paper and new drawing pens. I’ve been meaning to do it for a week. I had to get my hubby to come along to help me carry things and ended up spending far too much on some plants for the winter months in the garden. I also haven’t done much of my college work and can see it spiralling away from me. Will I catch up? seriously I need to be better now. I cant afford to get too behind with the course work.

life! sometimes it sucks.

More lockdowns coming?

Life could be getting complicated again. The pesky virus is increasing. People keep getting together and meeting up in their homes. The result is that the R rate (reproduction rate) has gone from below 1 to between 1.1 and 1.5. New cases are climbing and the number of people admitted to hospital are increasing. Testing is not working, people are being sent miles away from home, or when the patient gets to a testing Station they are sometimes getting sent away! This is getting worrying. Again.

Sore shoulder

It’s been about six weeks now since I think I hurt my shoulder. The doctors agreed I needed physios they sent me a letter to book an appointment. But there are no appointments. I’m still in pain and no further forward. I wonder if things will ever get back to normal (shoulder and life). I think it’s partly to do with tension. I haven’t got depressed but I seem to always be hunching my shoulders up. I might try and get to yoga again if it starts up again.

When I think about it though I can manage, I have been managing. What about all the people who never get treatment. Who live in poverty in rich and poor countries where health treatment is based on expensive insurance that doesn’t cover existing health issues. I know how lucky I am.

Masks

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From Monday people will have to wear masks in shops here in England. That doesn’t bother me, me and my hubby have both been wearing face coverings of one thing or another since lockdown began.

What does bother me is the outcry against them. A Tory MP tore up his membership card because of it.

Now our Prime Minister is saying it could all be OK by Christmas!

This is after over 45000 deaths that have been attributed to Covid 19 since it arrived here.

I’ve had a couple of family members that have had it. One is still affected a couple of months later. They told me it’s nothing like a touch of flu. That it’s really bad, and they didn’t get it badly.

Now I’ve got one friend telling me it’s all fake, not real, all a conspiracy! Another said she wouldn’t have a vaccination or allow her daughter to have it. Why? Why would you put your granny, or uncle, or child at risk because you don’t believe in a virus? Why would you not wear a mask to protect others?

And why would you not take a vaccine if it was safe? When Edward Jenner came up with a vaccine for Smallpox maybe the people in his day were against it. But why now? How many people are alive today because they were vaccinated. In this age of Fake news we need to use our brains. Not believe the first thing that someone says on the Internet. We need to fact check maybe.

But most of all we need to be safe and wear a mask and wash our hands.

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When did I become captain sensible?

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I’d like to be silly, daft, funny, have a laugh. But recently I’ve had to become, as my hubby calls me ‘ captain sensible’.

The thing is I’m his carer. I don’t like thinking about it but he has mental health issues and I have to keep a level head to keep him safe. But I don’t like it. I have to negotiate with him when he has manic ideas. I have to think through what he can do. I sometimes feel like a jailer. And yet I’m being sensible. I don’t think he should go and find a newt and put it in the pond, or buy another three bicycles to add to his collection of ten he already has. Or come home with another tree for our wooded garden. Some things are simple negotiation. Others are confusing. He buys ornaments we don’t need. He spends money in one particular shop on stuff that’s basically junk. But he’s happy. But they must see him coming… I worry about some of the things he declares he’s going to do. I won’t discuss them here. I can’t describe the anxiety he goes through every day, over things I would call trivial. I try and hold it all together and then live my life on top of that..

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Interesting times

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We live in difficult times,

In a bubble where nothing can touch us,

In a dream world of Internet lies,

In a world where one touch can kill us,

 

Yes we live in interesting times.

 

We live where a cold can be fatal,

Where a virus is writing our fate,

In a world where borders can’t save us,

We must act before it’s too late.

 

Don’t think the world is over,

We must fight till the end is right here,

No one knows what resolve will save us.

But we live in interesting times.