It’s social media so I’m not sharing her whole face or naming her. But she had a good Farewell yesterday, kind words and thoughts. We seperated in late teenage hood as I left home to go to college. We went in different directions, I think she had a more romantic view of life and she had an almost fairy tale history (married with two children). I won’t talk much about her world, I don’t want to share too much personal information. We were seperated by many miles, but the bond was still there. I wish we had been closer and visited more. Bereavement is full of regret. I do regret, but I don’t feel guilty.
When you lose someone it is complex and confusing. Especially when it is a sudden event. First there is disbelief, and that keeps flooding back. I keep wanting to talk to the person who is gone. Then I swear at them! Angry with them. Asking why did it happen? It’s unbelievable and shattering. Everything is on hold, I can’t decide what to do for the best. I’ve talked to lots of people, shared some of my feelings. I hope that’s the right thing to do. Life seems bad at the moment but at least I’m still trying to cope. Sleep is another problem. If you see me here late at night I might just be trying to take my mind off things.