Mourning and bereavement

When you lose someone it is complex and confusing. Especially when it is a sudden event. First there is disbelief, and that keeps flooding back. I keep wanting to talk to the person who is gone. Then I swear at them! Angry with them. Asking why did it happen? It’s unbelievable and shattering. Everything is on hold, I can’t decide what to do for the best. I’ve talked to lots of people, shared some of my feelings. I hope that’s the right thing to do. Life seems bad at the moment but at least I’m still trying to cope. Sleep is another problem. If you see me here late at night I might just be trying to take my mind off things.

4 thoughts on “Mourning and bereavement

  1. Death is weird. There comes a moment — somewhere down the road — when we’re not “over it” but we get this sense of, “Well, that’s that.” It’s different for everyone. And our feelings are so mixed partly depending on the person who died.

    When my bro died I felt mostly anger — I still do. He died from alcoholism, and I will always hate him a little bit for not loving me more, loving me enough, to hang around and be my brother. I miss him all the time and I always will. Losing him was losing a part of me and that part was largely hope that things would turn around somehow. My mom? I was just glad, if I’m honest. She was horrible to me and miserable in herself. I didn’t wish her dead, but when it happened, it was fine with me.

    My dad? Very mixed feelings. He was very ill and people kept saying “It’s for the best” and, for him, yeah, that was true, but for me? It sucked. My Aunt Martha to whom I was very very close — well, it was time and we had some last moments together that made it OK, but I miss her.

    There’s just not one way to feel about this and I think so often regret is part of our sorrow, the “I wish” and “What if I…” but those don’t have any currency in reality. Time doesn’t exactly “heal” it, but life is dynamic and fills the holes. I don’t know how, but I know it does. Anyway, don’t be afraid to reach out, OK? πŸ’“

    Liked by 1 person

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