I would like to speak to a mythological person. The Green man. I would ask him how he manages with leaves growing all over him including out of his mouth? Is he rooted to the ground or can he move around like Treebeard the Ent from the Lord of the Rings Story by Tolkien? I would also what literature he appears in so I can find new things to read….
It’s a weird question though, I could say a relative or friend, but no one here would know them, so I could say anything. I could make things up. The same goes for famous people, how would I know what to say to a rock star or a TV personality and of what relevance would my opinions have for them, or theirs to me?
I would like some answers about insurance or council issues, instead of having to deal with a bot or an answer machine. At least when you speak to a human they can understand nuanced ideas and arguments. Having to talk to a chat bot can limit communication, particularly if it can’t understand your accent. Sometimes I talk to a AI voice on the phone and it will think I said No when I said Yes. When I rang up the cinema for local showings of films it thought I asked for Edinburgh! So yes, the Green Man, why not?
I woke up last night about three am and I swear I thought someone was talking to me! But it was a garbled sound, so I couldn’t tell what the words were? Then I realised it was possibly me (or my hubby) talking in our sleep. But in the small hours it’s hard to decide what is going on. Sleep and dreams change to wakefulness slowly sometimes.
So I came downstairs to get a cup of cocoa and to try and unstress. I sat down with the cat and tried to take my mind off things. I watched lots of silly videos about American politics and people for a while (why is content overwhelmingly American?). But after boring my mind for an hour I went back to bed.
So I had overcome being spooked by my mind, but some of the things online could equally spook you, some very strange ideas!
When you lose someone it is complex and confusing. Especially when it is a sudden event. First there is disbelief, and that keeps flooding back. I keep wanting to talk to the person who is gone. Then I swear at them! Angry with them. Asking why did it happen? It’s unbelievable and shattering. Everything is on hold, I can’t decide what to do for the best. I’ve talked to lots of people, shared some of my feelings. I hope that’s the right thing to do. Life seems bad at the moment but at least I’m still trying to cope. Sleep is another problem. If you see me here late at night I might just be trying to take my mind off things.
I just started watching an old film ‘the Winslow boy’. Five minutes in hubby pipes up, oh this is that’s story where…… I stopped him, please don’t tell me. I haven’t seen this for years! Doing that is called a spoiler. Thankfully he stopped telling me about it!
It’s not the first time he’s tried, and succeeded in spoiling a film for me. The worst occasion was in the cinema when his voice boomed out, oh its so and so who’s the killer! I was mortified. Shhhhhh!
I love painting but I find it hard to sell. My mind sometimes goes into panic mode and I say strange things instead of pleasantries. I can hear my voice coming out with odd comments, about someone’s walking stick, or immesaying I will discount the price of a print when they have barely looked at it. Today was odd and difficult. It’s been a long time since I have had to talk to people about my art. I was not fluent with my thoughts. I was nervous, sometimes tounge tied. As the number of people increased it got worse. My throat got dry. I wanted to talk but I just stayed silent. It was better towards the end, but I’m an artist not a saleswoman. Anxiety and covid make it harder.
I was just stopped in the street by a woman who said ‘you know there’s no one around?’ I looked about me and said ‘yes I can see that’. Then she said ‘so you don’t need a mask’ I looked at her. Why tell me this when I had just forgotten to take it off, but why did it matter to her? Then she said ‘it might make it difficult for you to breathe with carbon Dioxide building up behind it.’
Oh I really wanted to say something, like ‘oh dear, so many people collapsing after wearing a mask for more than five minutes!’ or ‘ they are permiable to air, they just stop viruses’. But I bit my lip under my mask and said ‘no I’m OK. I’m used to wearing a mask at night, I have sleep aponea’. ‘Oh that OK then’ she said. I said ‘goodnight’ and walked off. But then called back ‘I’m still cautious about covid’. Perhaps people belive it’s over? But it’s my choice to wear a mask.
The world is nervous because of what is happening in Ukraine. The fight has proved that the Ukrainians will not just give up. There neighbours are supporting them and sanctions are being weilded against their aggressive invaders. But somehow through this morass a peaceful solution needs to be brokered.
This is not a film, its not a story in a book. Humans make stories up to understand what is going on. We cannot just assume things will be OK in the end. Look back in history and it is full of mistakes and missteps.
Have you ever seen the film ‘Dr Strangelove’ starring Peter Sellars in several roles. I won’t write a spoiler, except to say it didn’t finish well.
Let us hope and maybe even pray that things do sort themselves out, and that we can recover and get ourselves out of this mess. Then we have to try and sort out global warming. Otherwise we might find ourselves going to hell in a handbasket!
I was sitting in the living room tonight and instead of tapping at the cat flap like he normally does, our adopted cat gave an enormous miaow/yowl. I could hear him above the TV!
He then came in, had some food and drink, sat by my feet for a few minutes, purring very loudly then: Miarowwww… He’s up and wants letting out again. That cat has got powers of persuasion! No doubt he will be back in an hour or so.