Felt OK

Last night I went out to choir practice for the first time in several weeks. I wrote this gratitude about it when I got home. When I got there I couldn’t help crying, but a friend came over and calmed me down. We are now the mystery singers for the Christmas season so we were singing songs like Gaudete and Sweet Chiming Bells. Finally we sang While Shepherds watched their flocks by night to the tune of on Ilkley Moor Bah’tat, (although the Carol song might have come first?). By the end of the night I felt OK. So I am very glad I went.

Lovebirds

Leave the nest and find a partner, lovebirds dance and coo. Symbol of love, kissing turtle doves. Blue birds fly over white cliffs, a timeless memory caught in glass. Does the sunlight shine through and cast flitting shadows, flying across the room so slowly and gradually, a slow motion, stop and go motion, drift of love. Like an orbit around the sun celebrated in a year but played out in a day. Background colours changing fron bright white to rose to purple and blurred blue.

Lost

I feel like a lost leaf. I went to visit someone with a friend and I felt totally isolated. I didn’t know what to do socially, what to say. I could see they were not happy, but I was a guest, and didn’t know what to say to them. There was no connection between us. She looked away, I looked away. We ended up texting on our phones. Ignoring each other, not through dislike, but bafflement. I must try and make an effort.

#favourite

detail of a favourite painting. I did this forty years after painting the original. I can’t find the full photo. The hashtag #favourite was in a Facebook group I’m in. I loved the town landscape. I was living in a flat opposite a steep hill so I could see down into back gardens and see people gardening and putting washing out, also the architectural structure of the rooves. I was just starting my fine art course and thus took six weeks painting every day in situ. I remember being told off for taking so long over it, so I learnt to paint faster!

Twins again

Twins on the TV, twins in conversations, twins on the Internet. It’s like the universe knows what’s going on, and bereavement too, so sad that there are so many loses. Each one gouges another piece from my heart. The smoke alarm went off a couple of mornings ago. I want cooking and there are no sockets or electrical equipment near to it. The only thing I could think of was to check the Internet. False alarms are caused by high humidity or maybe a small spider sneaking inside the alarm! Or my mind telling me my sister is haunting me? I’d rather see her in a dream, to properly say goodbye. I’m sad, but I have to accept what has happened.

Strange word?

I have been watching the news about the USA midterm elections with fascination. We have supposedly fixed term elections of five years for the Government, by elections where we choose councillors every four years but they don’t always coincide, and a few mayoral elections that are only for a few cities that have chosen to have them, like London, Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool.

But this strange word keeps appearing in the US election ‘Goubernatorial’? Is that the spelling? It’s how it sounds. I would say Governatorial, as it is about the election of State Govenors. It is a real mouthful. Is it meant to be confusing, to sound clever, is it Latin? Or Greek? Who knows.

I think there’s a saying, something like: the United Kingdom and the United States of America are two nations seperated by a common language. Spellings of Sulphur (UK) and Sulfur (US), someone told me the Americans came up with simpler spellings. Also Neighbour (UK) and Neighbor (US)… Why not Neybor if you really want to simplify. And the pronunciation of Aluminium as Aloominum? Why? Many questions!

Preparations

I will be at studio 21 at Spode tomorrow for our annual Open Day. Come and see me painting in the studio or visit the makers market where I will have minature paintings for sale. Then during the day I will try to complete a new painting of a bottle oven (a pottery kiln).

It’s been two years since I’ve been there properly. My fear of Covid, then illness and bereavement have kept me out. But everyone was so nice today. I’ve entered some of my minature paintings for the craft Market. I thought people might use them as Christmas stocking fillers. There’s everything from a tiny giraffe with an abstract background to a small Jupiter with great red storm and a moon passing by. Maybe I will sell a few.

My smoke alarm went off

A loud beeping then ‘attention fire’ ‘attention fire’!

First I thought the fridge alarm was going off until the voice started. Then I remembered we had replaced our old smoke alarm because it had started to beep every five minutes even when we changed the battery.

So where was the fire? No sign, not a sniff or sight of smoke. No hot spots, I’d turned off the heater, the lights were mostly out. The kitchen door was shut and I’d only had the kettle on for a cup of decaff coffee.

What could have set it off? I wonder if a spider has moved in? I stayed awake till 7am waiting for it to go off again. No smoke without fire? So tired! Be alarmed, be very alarmed!