A hat full of stones

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You daft ‘aipath! What you doin’ collectin’ stones in yer at?

I wanted em fer th’garden. Twill make a nice dressin’ ont top of the pots.

Yer an owd idiot Mon! Yer ed’s full o’ gravel dust now don’t yer know?

Yer ed’ must be rattlin’ like an old stone path being walked on, yer numpty.

Oo you callin’ a numpty? If tha’dud na like me, why dids’t tha marry me?

Becowse I luved yer. An thays theĀ  truth o’it.

Trying to write in some sort of dialect. Apologies for it.

Ello?!

IMG_20190702_020515_158ello, ow art yow?

I’m reet tired duck.

Why’s that my dear Mon?

Been down’t farm t’feed heffers

Check t’ ducks ‘n’ chuckhens

Made some chayse,

Layd a hedge

Milked t’owd goat

Brought in’t corn,

Flailed t’ barley

walked ower t’ orchard

Brung sum coookin apples owm.

Made a napple pye fer tea.

Then strode down tut pub

fer a pint of scrumpy cyder.

Drank tow much

Cayme owm legliss

Fell ower.

Slept in’t oss trough.

But I’m fine.