I’m tense all the time. My hubby went out walking today with some friends and I stayed in ostensibly to get some college work done but really I want to keep away from possible infection. I don’t like it though. I’m constantly tense. I get pains in my shoulders from holding them tight all the time. I’ve tried to book some physio because I’m getting pain from a pinched nerve in my arm and shoulder… But there are no free appointments. Hubby says he will pay, but I’d rather trust the NHS than go private?
So the tension continues. I’ve even found myself rocking backwards and forwards to comfort myself. I don’t think I’m depressed just physically reacting to the pandemic. Stay safe everyone.
Waiting for the phone to ring,
Waiting for the vet to call.
What will be the scan result?
Will he be on medication?
Worried, waiting, hoping, aching.
Shall I ring, or shall I wait?
Will the treatment be too late?
Nervous, thinking, imagined perils.
Cat must be OK, I prey.
One of my cats kittens from three years ago, popped up on my Facebook page a few weeks ago. She was rehomed with her sister and they are grown up and happy. We are thinking about taking in another adult stray cat, but he needs checking over at the vets, and my male cat is going to the vets for treatment in the morning. Life is complicated. Then if my cat is OK I need to find out about treatment, tablets, worst case scenario.
I will wait for the sun to rise and try and think of tomorrow as a new day, a different day.
I’m thinking about what I need to do, trying not to prevaricate, not to stick my head in the sand. In this time of lockdown it’s almost too easy to turn and face the wall and not let the world invade. So I shall sleep and try not to wake too early.
I hope that everyone out there in the big world is OK. Safe, as happy as they can be. Look after yourselves.
Out of luck today, the result of our general election didn’t go the way I wanted. I usually stay up all night to watch the results, but as soon as I heard what the exit pole said I decided to give it a miss. No last night I went to bed about 1am, which is actually early for me. I would have gone earlier, but I was watching a couple of documentaries about Maori art and they were far more enjoyable than election results. I think I knew it was going to be bad when I saw the results would be on Friday the Thirteenth.
I look forward to more austerity and homelessness, worse health care, the sale of the NHS, more crime. But I’m not bitter, just sad.
I wish I didn’t have such a big mouth, wasn’t so “keen” about things. A couple of times recently I’ve got myself so enthusiastic about something (two seperate things), that I’ve done something, sharing an idea, that I shouldn’t have. It’s made me feel embarrassed and wonder if I’ve done wrong. Maybe I’m not enough of a team player.
Foot in mouth time, worried I might cause problems, hoping I don’t say the wrong thing, expecting something to hit the fan. As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions?
New year, new threat of rent increases in the studios. Not by the cost of inflation, but possibly by 25% or more! Im not saying where I rent, and I’m not publishing this on FB. I’m just worried I won’t be able to afford it. The fear is that I will retreat back to home and have to give up my dream of being an artist. The increase would possibly mean people looking for cheaper alternatives.
The threat is not clear yet, some people are hoping for lower increases. Its just that its a blow for a little thriving community of creative people. I sometimes think that greed is at the bottom of everything. So frustrating.