Worried about him

Stressed! My old cat went out while I was shopping, I realised he was not around and I’ve just been calling him for an hour. I left the back door wide open, I kept whistling, it cuts through traffic noise. I also put messages on WhatsApp and got lots of support – one person even offered to come to look for him, he is not eating much except cat soups and drinking a lot of water. It’s such a worrying time.

I thought he was in the garden but its very overgrown and if I went out looking for him I could easily fall over. BUT thank goodness… He’s back! I feel like the boy who cried wolf!

Friends?

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

When I eventually found out a so called friend had tried to have an affair with my hubby I was shocked. My hubby told me about it because we had had an argument about the way she spoke about him ( clearly because he had rejected her).

It took a while to sink in, and we broke off the friendship after that. But the signs had been there before. She was always round our house when I was at work, ostensibly because she had commuted back on the train and called at our house on the way home for a rest (she would walk back from the station). Often I would give her a lift from our house, and we would chat. She kept saying that she was not a good person, but I reassured her. Now I think about it she was probably trying to confess about her behaviour.

When hubby died a couple of years later she rang me up and asked if we could be friends again! I don’t know if she was aware of my hubby telling me what she had tried to do. But I could not bare to say anything and just hung the phone up on her!

Stock photo

List

Because of everything that’s been happening my life recently I have got behind on #bandofsketchers prompt so here is a list of some of the things I’ve missed. I hope to feel enthusiastic again but I have a health issue that needs investigating and I feel stuck again. One step forward two steps back. All being well everything will be OK. Fingers crossed, I’ve got enough worries without something else coming up!

Fear

I tried to draw an abstract image of fear. Everything is chaotic, your not in control, tight chest and gut. Swirling colours…

I’m not afraid of halloween or anything silly like that, but I’m scared to go out into our garden without my hubby. We have been through a series of thefts from our garden and now I can’t stop looking out of the window to check if anyone had come back. Hubby just rushed out because he saw someone on a bike like his, and I’m afraid to go into the garden incase someone is lurking, so many bad thoughts of what might happen!

Hence the drawing, a bit of self art therapy.

Global warming

What are you most worried about for the future?

The heat is on..

The world is melting

Tides are rising

It’s happened in my lifetime

Sea water is hotter

Glaciers are drying up

No water to drink

Once it’s gone.

Drought hits crops

Why not be concerned?

Just because I might be gone

I still need to worry

For the ones that come after.

Do my best to restore things

To how they were?

Not much effect maybe?

But one fingernail holds me

Stuck on a cliff

Of hope to change things

We cannot turn back time

But we may make a difference

If we all try?

Nerves

Its almost time to submit my final major project but I’ve become very nervous about it. Such a lot rides on how I do. I’m already suffering from insomnia but this is just making it worse. I’m wondering why I can’t sleep, but I guess it’s thoughts like “have I got enough images?” “what if I forget to include?” “how do I create?” Don’t get me wrong, I have learnt a lot over the course of the last two years. I am attempting things I would never have done before. And what am I going to get out of it, apart from those new skills? Would anyone employ me as a free-lance illustrator/ author/ crafts person? Lot’s of questions. I think my style is my USP. I tend to do my own thing. I am probably too analogue. But I have a passion and I want what I am doing to be interesting. Do I have to be subsumed into a generic style? I hope not!

Sleepless in Stoke

My minds a whirl..

Little thoughts track big ones

Trickle through my brain

Like sand in a puzzle

Clogging up the workings

No smooth calmness

Jumping clumps of

Dark matter

Or spaghetti goo

What does that meant

To you?

Nothing, random

Overactive

Spiced with tinges

Of pain

Let me sleep

Not that tune

Again!

Tomorrow

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A stitch in time saves nine,

Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Manyana

Prevarication

Am I depressed? I have things to do, and I keep putting them off. Watching TV, doing other things, like painting. I need to call the builder because I’ve found a crack in our front wall. I need to finish an assignment, I need to look after myself, I need to regain some calmness and relax.

Part of it is lack of sleep. Staying up late, one more blog, TV show, book to read. I’m not being organised. Maybe I can sort things out.

What to do. Don’t stay up till 1am. Or later.. Much later.. Oh hell!

Too many nights have turned into day while I’ve been mooching about. The little twitches of my mind as I listen to pings from my phone. How did I ever get so addicted to a phone!

Chemicals

IMG_20200210_185247_170

Something I wrote a couple of years ago on Facebook :

I keep seeing posts, don’t use this, don’t eat that, they are full of toxic, carcinogenic, genetically modified ingredients. BUT does anyone ever question where this information comes from? There does not seem to be scrutiny of whether things are FACT or FICTION.
Firstly everything is made of chemicals..because they are made of atoms or molecules of various elements. Even the wind is made if chemicals, because it is in fact gases like Nitrogen, Oxygen, Carbon Dioxide and other elements. The only thing that us not chemical is energy, like light (photons) and energy on the electromagnetic spectrum.
So when someone writes there are chemicals in something that is FACT.
Some are harmful and some are good, it can depend on the amount of something in it. That seems to be where the problem lies. Especially where people believe in homeopathic remedies, where the original active ingredient is so diffuse it sometimes can not be measured any more but people still believe in its effectivness (the placebo effect).
There seems to be an idea that even trace amounts of chemicals can do harm, in some cases that is true, we have all seen films where terrorists plan to put nerve agents in water supplies, and they show a tiny phial of stuff and say this thing can kill a million people. But it is not true that all things in trace amounts can be harmful. It’s these scare stories that worry me. I love science and finding out things. I am not an expert, so I tend to ask people who know or look up things on Wikipedia or Snopes to see what the facts are.
I think we should all question things, but try and follow the facts, not being scared to seek the truth. Certain newspapers will say something is poisonous one day, and then say it is a cure for everything the next. Sometimes you can’t take things at face value.
Science is important, without it we would be back in the stone age.