college work

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So much to do. My own fault really. I’m doing a college course but its been a while and I am acting like I did when I did my previous course. In other words prevaricating and not doing stuff in a timely way. But I know it so I’m trying to catch up. I still have a couple of weeks to put everything together, But you know when you are nervous. Its easier to come and type here than get on with things. Trouble is I am paying for this, so I’m letting myself down if I don’t get on with it. There you are- I’ve admitted it….

I tried making lists, sticking up post it notes, setting free time to do the work (I have plenty of that) my mind rebels! I look at the book of face, ring people, go for walks, garden….sound familiar? Do I really want to do this? Yes! I must get on with it..

Bye for now!

Aged

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Have I matured,

or aged?

Is my skin like parchment,

smooth and soft?

Or crumpled and full

of wrinkles?

Do I need ‘plumping up’

or ironing flat?

My age is my story,

my experience and thoughts.

Worn or rested.

Life takes its toll,

and continues on,

giving and taking.

Life has magic

and cruelty.

Give it  chance

to take you

on your own special journey.

 

 

Looking out

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Painting from a few years ago. It’s one that I did about imagination and the mind. I don’t know where it went. It may have been sold. The foreground is meant to represent axons and synapses in the brain. Thought happens, but how do you describe it? How you depict it? The eyes are supposed to be the window to the mind.

And how do we know the mind is in charge. Only a few centuries ago, the heart was seen as the centre of emotions. Hence the phrases like “letting your heart rule your head”.

I’ve done similar pictures in watercolour pencils, but they are probably in a sketchbook somewhere. I’ve got too much stuff.

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Can you know how I feel?

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Can you know how I feel?

The fog that ties me down?

The tight knots in my head,

A lack of wanting to do things.

My mind wanders away to rest.

Huddled in grey mist,

Finding solace in thought.

Do you know what I can do?

How I can break my bonds.

Feel lightened by relief?

A choice of turning in and tuning out.

Or hold tight until life returns….

Freeing me from these thoughts.

What’s in a cage?

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What’s in a cage,

and what is a cage?

Are we trapped in a net,

or free?

Are we birds in cages

or enclosed by space?

How big is your cage?

Can you walk across a room?

Are their bars on your window?

Is there no way out.

No bus,

no car?

Are you stuck in your mind?

Many cages exist,

some are visible,

some are in your mind…

 

How do I know what I know?

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Stuff is in my head. Stuff that I learned at school, or from my parents and family. From books I have read, from things on the TV and radio. From things I have experienced, felt, seen, heard.

The mind is a wonderful thing if it is allowed to learn. An empty vessel waiting for millions of little facts and ideas to inhabit it. General knowledge, science, literature, music, ideas, so much! I know things I didn’t think I know. Except about pop music! That’s what I really don’t know. I don’t claim to be knowledgeable about everything and anything. But I know a bit about quite a lot. But then am I a jack of all trades and master of none. You can see my grammar is not brilliant, I can’t do complex maths or calculus, but I know they exist…

The mind should be kind, I think. To be flexible and fluid. To try and understand other peoples minds and ideas. To care about things around you.

The mind can be beautiful. You have to try and make it that way.

We do not see ourselves

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We don’t see ourselves as others see us. Mother, father, sister, brother, everybody has an opinion of you, but no one can know what’s in your heart.

Imagine a world of telepathy where everyone can read your mind at will. They can see your triumphs and tragedies from your perspective. But most people’s minds probably don’t have clear concise thoughts. If their mind is anything like mine it can be full of confidence at one minute and then dispair the next. You don’t get a blueprint when you are born of how to think. We all need to cut each other a little slack sometimes.

In my friends garden

I took these photos in a friend’s garden 6 years ago (they came up on my Facebook feed) I am a nut about colour and some of these just zing!

I think I used a little digital camera with no added features to take these. I was just amazed how the reds and oranges stood out in the green.

I wish I could time travel back to those simpler times. But time flies, tempus fugit, and before you know it you are 6 years older and perhaps not wiser!

But in the meantime I’m going to enjoy browsing through these again…

Cheers x