My muddled brain

Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.

Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.

Fireflies

Imagine a glass box of fireflies all flying around. Cold light from their abdomens? Could you use it as a torch, or would they all settle down in a corner and go to sleep? I wouldn’t want to catch them and trap them so I will use LED lights instead.

We have choices, we don’t have to trap or kill anything, we don’t have to be cruel. We can try and do better than we do. Realise people are not perfect. Learn to forgive if we can. Let the fireflies fly free.

Insomnia again, no!

My mind is spinning again, and my body has been spinning in bed, left side, back, right side, left side, right, back, left…..

Sheet covering me, duvet and sheet, no sheet… Too hot, too cold. Pain in my toes, pain in my knee, back, neck..

Twisting and turning so much, it might be a dance. Now my guts are joining in, discomfort, so I’ve come down for a decaff coffee. Soon I’ll be back in bed. But while I’m here, at 5.15am, why not just check out my phone for stories, funny memes, memories, jokes…… Put it down! Put. It. Down…

Good morning x dawn will be breaking soon.

Walking tree

Turn a tree upside down and it might look like it’s walking. Turn it on its side and it could be a running horse. Shapes can look like anything if you have that kind of mind. Simplify the shape and it becomes more like lots of different things. Stars turn into Gods and mythical beasts. Lines that don’t exist can be drawn on a map to create the Bermuda Triangle. Humans make up stories out of words and voices, but also from pictures and shapes, and I love that we do.

I’m bored

Fed up with being ill. Not Covid, but a cold/ chest infection. But I’m getting bored. I feel trapped but that might be a good thing. Perhaps I’m getting better?

Sundays used to be boring when I was a child. Nowhere was open, shops shut, nothing really to visit. If you ran out of milk you could not buy any. Memory of a different world. Time changes things. Then I was waiting for fruit salad with evaporated milk with bread and butter for tea. Watching my mom and dad doing the washing in a boiler in the kitchen that had a mangle on the top and an old spin dryer to get most of the water out. While they did that we played in the garden. Unless the weather was bad. Then I would read a book, or draw. Maybe it wasn’t all that boring?

Mind/brain

A sleepless night and suddenly I had a brainwave for this one! It’s fragile, full of fuzzing thoughts and it can’t settle down. Collage with offcuts, parcel tape, nail varnish, black ink and felt pens. Sundays prompt was brain/mind for #bandofsketchers

I really don’t know what was going on. The inspiration? A little plastic bag with pink zigzag stripes and a book on human biology I got when I was at school!