Tag: Time

Random…

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Random memories

Random memories get at me… things only he used to do.. Why is the drill on top of the cupboard out of my reach? Did he know the answer to that university challenge question? I don’t recognise the different types of steam trains and can’t ask.. Long gone memories surface. What was his opinion about the latest political issues? 43 years then gone.. Lost, only in my memory…

He is still in my minds eye, a little corner of my brain grips tight and holds on.. He won’t go without a fight, and I don’t want to argue with him.

He would have been annoyed today, the  pump sprang a leak in the airing cupboard and when I came downstairs there was half an inch of water on the floor…. Now I’ve got just one cold water tap and the kettle… But he would have sorted it out….

I miss him…

What a day

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Not my cat

I’m still recovering from yesterday. My cat was due to be operated on so I took him to the vets at 8am. I barely slept the night before.

After leaving him I then went to the art group I go to so that I could take my mind off things. I’d also arranged to get a new battery for my phone, so my friend gave me a lift after art group.

So off we went, but the shop needed to keep my phone so I came home without it after asking the shop worker to bring it to my house after 5pm. He agreed because he lived nearby.

Then to the vets, I had to walk over as I didn’t have my phone!? But the cat (who hadn’t had his operation because they had 5 emergency operations in through the day) was not ready to be collected, so I walked home slowly to wait for my phone. By then I was exhausted. The phone duly arrived, and I rang the vets who confirmed the cat was ready. I then walked there and back, very slowly with stops… He was so pleased to be home…

Then later on I had to go and chair a meeting about a drama a group I am in…

I’m consequently so tired…

A couple of days off…

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Artrage app finger painting

A few days ago it would have been my hubby’s birthday. He is not here anymore and I felt too sad to blog here. Also my phone is playing up so I might struggle to post till I get a new battery, which means finding somewhere to do that. I don’t want a replacement for my phone (or hubby). I prefer to get things fixed if I can.

My hubby was not fixable, I can’t tell you how much I wish things had been different. I still feel lost without him. I think grief is not controllable, you have to go with its ways, sometimes succumbing to  the pain…. Despite wanting to make it go away. I just want to remember him always, even if I do feel blue….

Missing days

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I keep forgetting to post here. I’ve got so much to do.. Forms to complete, meetings to go to, appointments to keep. I sign up for things to keep myself occupied but without transport everything is taking longer to get to. And I have been so behind with stuff. I really need to get my skates on and sort myself out. But I’m getting tired and staying in more. It’s so hard to get organised.

Prevarication doesn’t help, I look at things and worry, and stick my head under the duvet and try to hide and sleep!

Mithered

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I asked people on Threads if they had heard the word Mithered and was surprised at the large response I got.

To me Mithered means worried or bothered, pestering someone, being mithered. I found out there are other meanings….

“Mithered” (or “mithering”) is a Northern English dialect word meaning to be bothered, pestered, or to make an unnecessary fuss/moan, often used to describe someone being nagged or someone complaining persistently, as in “Stop mithering me!” or “I can’t be mithered” (meaning “I can’t be bothered”). It conveys a sense of gentle irritation or exasperation. ” (from Google).

I had found out it’s mainly used in Northern England, but it’s even used in the West Midlands where I moved away from in my teens.

I originally heard it from my husband “Stop mithering about things”, who was from Lancashire. He used words like “nesh” feeling the cold, “owt/nowt” anything/nothing, “mardy” moody.

I love the way English is still full of dialects and different accents.