Get my brushes out

Posted on October 12, 2022 Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged Artists block, Brushes, Colours, Darkness, Light, Painting, prism, Rainbows, ThinkingLeave a comment

I feel guilty that I haven’t painted. I think I need to get my brushes out. Painting is my reason for being. It’s not negotiable, I have to paint, or at least draw. It will happen, I’m just not sure when. As the days get darker I always find it more difficult, especially painting under artificial light. By the way, I must have a hundred brushes around the house, I think they multiply when I’m not looking!

I was looking for an image to use for this post and found this. Where the light through prisms in the mobile in my window was casting rainbows on these brushes. I hope I don’t get artists block, sometimes I just can’t paint…

Contour lines

Posted on October 11, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Black and white, Confusion, Contours, Lines, Mixed up, Poem, Poetry, Thinking, Understanding?4 Comments

My mind is swirling

Bits gang up against each other

Jumbled and shaken

Flying in different directions

One day I feel OK.

The next, confused and sad

So I draw and doodle

Sketch and map my mind

I will keep going

And see what I find….

Spiralling

Posted on October 11, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Black ink pen, Drawing, Meditation, Memories, Pattern, Sadness, Shape, Sketching, Spiral, ThinkingLeave a comment

This drawing is another meditation. As I spiralled around drawing complex patterns I thought about aspects of mine and my siblings life. By thinking about her as I drew I could concentrate without getting too upset. I let myself think about how things could be different, and that she may have been spared. I don’t know if it was a comfort but I had been watching a programme about quantum entanglement and the possible multiverse. I am not an astrophysicist and I have no idea if this theory would have any effect on variations of people/places/times, but it gave me a little strange comfort.

Fireflies

Posted on October 10, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Caring, cruelty, forgiving, kindness, Learning, Life, Mind, Thinking, Time, TrappedLeave a comment

Imagine a glass box of fireflies all flying around. Cold light from their abdomens? Could you use it as a torch, or would they all settle down in a corner and go to sleep? I wouldn’t want to catch them and trap them so I will use LED lights instead.

We have choices, we don’t have to trap or kill anything, we don’t have to be cruel. We can try and do better than we do. Realise people are not perfect. Learn to forgive if we can. Let the fireflies fly free.

Need to do more

Posted on October 7, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Design, Digital drawing, minotaur, Sadness, Sketching, Thinking, time threadLeave a comment

I’m finally, after almost three weeks, starting to feel a little like I want to do some painting or creating digital art again. Things have been really bad. It must have been hard to read some of the things I wrote. Death is not easy to cope with, and not having answers about why something has happened makes it even harder. But amongst the misery my little artist inside me has kept me going. It’s like the thread Ariadne gave to the hero Persius, to find his way out of the Minotaurs maze. It’s always there, even when I’m not doing any art. It helps me X

Six months ago

Posted on October 7, 2022October 7, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Autumn, Dorothy Clive garden, Garden, Life, Memories, six months ago, Spring, Staffordshire, Thinking, WillowbridgeLeave a comment

Six months ago I remember things were fine. The Rhododendrons in the Dorothy Clive Garden were in flower, we had the whole summer to enjoy. The sun was shining and covid seemed to be on the wane. Now things are not so good. Autumn has arrived and life has thrown me some curve balls. We are heading towards darker days and the summer is speedily disappearing. But I have decided I have to be OK. Just doing things like getting my covid and flu jabs seems positive. Protecting myself and people around me.

Tired

Posted on October 3, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Asleep, Awake, Cold, Hot, Insomnia, reasons, Sleep, Sleepy, Thinking, Tired, TV, Video?, yawningLeave a comment

Yawning, aching, eyes blurred, too many late nights watching TV or videos on my phone. I could sleep, but my feet hurt, which keeps me awake. Then I’m either too hot or too cold, or hubby snores, or kicks my ankle. Too many decaff coffees make it worse. Even if I don’t have lots of thoughts sometimes it difficult. I put a light on, if I read sometimes I can sleep, I hear the book drop, but I’m gone. Other times I put the radio on low, a murmur, but sometimes I catch a headline and have to listen…. So many reasons for NOT sleeping, and yet HE can just sleep, like that, so annoying! ❤️

Sleep help

Posted on October 1, 2022October 1, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged 'the', Complicated, Dream, Helpful, Quiet, Sleep, Sleeping, Thinking, Tired1 Comment

Your mind is muddled, thoughts roll over and through your mind. Repeating over and over the things that went wrong in the day. Things pop into your mind from years ago. This is never ending, you start watching your alarm clock as minutes or hours tick by….

Then you remember, someone told you think of the word ‘THE’ nothing else, just ‘the’… Think of it slowly, over and over again…

Why? I think it’s because the word ‘the’ has no connotations, nothing to cling onto, while you are thinking ‘the’ you can’t think of anything else. It helps block roiling thoughts, and you just drift off to sleep. Honestly, over the last two months it has really helped. I don’t even remember drifting off, but then I sleep quite well….

Sad words

Posted on September 30, 2022September 30, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Grief, Life, Memory, Poem, Poetry, Sad, Sadness, Thinking, Tired, Words1 Comment

What do sad words mean?

Do they explain

Do they confer

Anything?

How do I say

What I feel?

Words are not easy

They don’t encapsulate

They don’t wrap you

In their arms.

They are just noise

Between people

When what I need

Is a hug?

Texting

Posted on September 28, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged explanation, expression, Life, Mobile phone, nuance, Text, Thinking, WritingLeave a comment

Texting, I hate it, trying to think of the right words, how to put feelings into what you say, without appearing abrupt or rude. Today I had a text and each answering phrase I wrote was edited four or five times. You can’t put nuance into texts. If I were a poet I could add different ideas and concepts to help make things more clear. But texting is generally short and simple. But also not always considered. At one stage I hit the thumbs up symbol accidentally that was not appropriate. I wish I could have deleted it. All I could say was sorry.

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Thinking