Appointment

Posted on March 8, 2024 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Anxiety, Appointment, Illness, Life, results, Scared, Shaking, Stress, Thinking, Time, Worry5 Comments

Eek, I now have an appointment to see what’s wrong with me and I’m scared. I don’t know what to expect or what treatment I’m going to be offered. My world has been spinning now for a couple of years, so I guess resolving it is a good idea, but my anxiety levels are skyrocketing.

Trying to say calm, repeating the word calm in my mind, trying to relax, stomach is churning though. My shaking has suddenly got worse, I feel like I’m a twisting pretzel or Staffordshire knot, I don’t know how to slacken the pressure.

Standing on the edge of a precipice wondering if I will fall or fly. I think this is just going to be a talk about results, but I really am not sure if I can cope.

A few paintings

Posted on June 1, 2023June 1, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, Canvas, Life, miniature painting, Shaking, shaking arm, time consuming, Tiny paintings2 Comments

I’m painting tiny pictures, flowers, a cherry, vases, lots of ideas. I didn’t realise how much my shaking arm would affect me. I usually use an easle these days but you have to hold the tiny canvases. I want to do quite a few little paintings, but they have to be of good quality. Wish me luck..

Too much typing

Posted on January 26, 2023 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Aching, arm, Life, Looking, Mobile phone, Reading, Shaking, Thinking, Typing, Videos, WatchingLeave a comment

The last few days have been painful. My shaking arm is aching a lot more. I think it’s because it’s very tense, but also I’ve been feeling ill so I’ve been using my phone to look at various websites and watching my phone screen to look at videos a lot more. Why doesn’t your brain correlate things? The pain is worse when I hold or support my phone. Perhaps I should put the darned thing down a bit more often. It distracts me from being bored, but I it’s about time I started getting out and about more. Walking or reading books seem the best options.

Blurry back yard

Posted on August 27, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Colours, Gardening, Happy, Ill, outdoors, Planting, Plants, pleasure, plethora, Shaking, shingles, TiredLeave a comment

Mad back yard. The heavy rain has pepped up all the plants. You have to avoid the baskets. I want to put some washing on the line but it’s clouded over again. I’m tired and hot. A friend came round and after a cup of tea helped cut back part of a large bush that had layered itself (spread outwards with side shoots). Of course I stayed inside for most of the time, but decided to say hi after a rest and ended up helping a bit by cutting off small twigs. By the time I came back in I was exhausted and tired out, hence the shaking. But looking at this really cheered me up. A real plethora and pleasure of flora!

I need to get out.

Posted on June 26, 2022 Posted in UncategorizedTagged arm, Balance, Body, Exercise, Hands, Legs, Life, Mental health, Shaking, Shoulder, Tense, Time, Walking3 Comments

I sometimes feel trapped in the house. I don’t mind doing things, it’s just since I’ve developed a shaking left arm I feel a bit unsteady on my feet, like I’m going to trip u or something. As I walk my shoulders, arm and hand get tense, then my neck and head finally my feet feel like they are going to tangle up. I just wish it hadn’t sapped my confidence. The garden fence could be iron bars, the front door is the door to my cell…. I suppose it’s me looking for safety and security, but I need to find mental as well as physical balance again.

Shaking

Posted on May 28, 2022May 30, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Answers, Art, Brain, frustration, Help, left side, Memory, Nerves, right side, Shaking, Sketching, TiredLeave a comment

I want to know what is happening with my brain and nerves. I am still struggling with a shaking left arm and hand, and cramps in my left leg and foot. I think it’s a trapped nerve, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’m hoping when I finally get to see a doctor I will get a good result and hopefully it can be fixed. Meanwhile I’m thankful it’s on my left side as I’m right handed. It makes some things more difficult and it’s tiring and frustrating. I know I’ve moaned about this before, but it’s getting to me. I wrote this yesterday but then forgot to publish it. And I’m getting forgetful with some words, but I’m hoping thats just stress! I went for an eye appointment set for the 29th, except it’s in June, not May! No wonder they were not open….Help

Face

Posted on March 12, 2022 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Art, Artrage oils, Colours, Digital drawing, Face, Fun, Memory, Shaking, SketchingLeave a comment

Face, digital drawing from about four years ago. I used to do more of these but I’ve not felt as able to for a while because of my arm shaking. The lines I try and draw go too wobbly. This was drawn in ArtRage oils.

WIP a while ago

Posted on February 18, 2022 Posted in Fine Art, UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, Art, Ceramic, Fine Art, Painting, Pottery, Sad, Shaking, Work in progress4 Comments

Before my arm started shaking I was doing paintings like this. (for the last year and a half or so my left arm has been gradually getting worse with increased shaking ) Then I had to see the doctor and mentioned the problem. He said it was above his pay grade! I am waiting for tests. The thing is that art and particularly painting mean everything to me. I don’t know if lockdowns have knocked my confidence? Plus illness gets to you. Making it more difficult to complete work. I’ve got myself into a situation where I will do quick pictures and sketches, but I feel nervous of doing anything more substantial. I don’t usually talk about how I feel mentally, but I’m feeling down today. I will probably be OK tomorrow?

Illness

Posted on December 3, 2021 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Fed up, Frustrated, Hand, Health, Illness, Life, Living, NHS, no fun, Shaking, Tablets2 Comments

My body is literally a pain. From recent problems to chronic health issues, I have to admit things are mounting up. I want to get to 100 when Halleys Comet is due to be back in our skies, but I’m getting fed up. I think my mind is fine but things keep going wrong. Must be my genetic makeup. Fingers crossed I don’t get anything else. At least one thing I have is determination. I don’t easily give up. Here’s another lot of tablets? Fine, thank you. I am thankful for the NHS, I don’t know how I would cope without it!

Preparing to paint

Posted on December 3, 2021 Posted in UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, Art, Canvas, Design, Fair, Hope, Life, Painting, Shaking, Tiny paintings6 Comments

Eight tiny and four small canvases waiting to be painted. Despite my shaking arm getting worse, and my right hand starting to shake too. Life has to go on.

I’ve been asked if I want a small table at a craft fair, and I said yes (foolishly). Now I’m faced with these blank canvases. I have an idea for some images, I just hope they turn out OK. The trouble is I’ve put this off for weeks and the fair is tomorrow. Luckily I have some old paintings waiting at my studio so I should be OK. I just need a bit of courage. X

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Shaking