I’ve not been booking anything on my calendar for a couple of months. I haven’t felt able to arrange things except for routine things. But suddenly today I’ve rung a couple of people and booked a visit on my calendar, it doesn’t sound like much, but it feels more positive. The sun is actually shining, and although I haven’t been outside I’ve opened the curtains (for a few weeks I’d kept them closed). My hubby goes out and works in the garden and I tend to sit around. I’m only really accepting that I’ve been feeling down now, after the event. But when you start to cry for no reason you know you are getting low. Reasons? Life, caring for someone, problems my relatives are having, health issues. I have felt stuck in a rut, too many responsibilities and feeling a total lack of energy. My mojo needs to come back.
I’m glad people can talk about their mental health. I think it’s a good thing. Whether I should talk about it online? I don’t know. But because I’m feeling a bit better I’m happy to share.
Dont ignore your mental health, get help if you need it. You are not alone. I can’t see inside people’s brains, but I do know they are complicated.
I seem to have collected a lot of these over the years. There’s a cat, two owls and a reindeer at least. I was given a couple of them and bought a few more. I like cute things, although I do wonder whether collecting them is sensible. Humans have a tendency to feel attached to inanimate objects. Like children love their toys, I guess adults love ornaments and objects. Sometimes this leads to hoarding, other times if the person is rich it might lead to collections of fine art. I think these could be described as two sides of the same coin. Both are ways of giving you pleasure, a good feeling each time you buy something, or hold it. But that feeling and impulse to buy can be an addiction. Or just holding onto belongings from a parent. Even a crisp packet that a good friend has eaten out of can have significance. So much so that it cannot be disposed of. Collection and hoarding are not so different…..
His mind burns
Hates to worry
But has no escape.
Ties guts and nerves,
Like a cauldron,
Withered, cracked, split and spilt
Mind shrunken by adversity.
Let HIM be free….
I’m off out to choir practice today. Learning new songs, and old ones to different tunes.
I’m sure my mental health has been better since I began going to a choir over ten years ago. It’s good for things like relaxation and concentration. I would recommend it to anyone who nerds some stress busting.
I can be sitting with the choir with no memory if the words or tune. Then almost miraculously they come to me as we start singing. We sing mainly acappella and my voice is most suited to alto and low parts.
We learnt a version of let your little light shine for the Stoke sings choir festival the weekend before last. With words that were appropriate to the cities history of pottery and mining.
I hope we sing it again tonight. It was fun to sing with 600 other people belting out the various parts. It is on YouTube somewhere.