I can’t talk

There’s people I need to speak to, but as the days go on I get less likely to reach out. Its like I’m encapsulating myself against the whole world. Retreating into myself, hiding away? So nothing else can hurt me. Keeping busy where I have to, but really all I want is to put my head under the covers and escape from the world. Self protection, I hope it’s not selfishness. I don’t know if I will feel better soon. Am I being lazy? No, definitely not. Just torn apart.

Sundays were always boring…

Sitting around being bored. Shops shut, nowhere to go. Listening to the radio, parents doing the washing in a boiler and a spin drier in the kitchen. Steam coming up and then patterns in the water as the spindryer vibrated the bowl that caught the water. No fridge, just a cold pantry, food was usually bacon and eggs for breakfast and tinned peaches and evaporated milk with sliced bread and butter at teatime. It was always the same. Things did change, life got more interesting, but only when my parents got transport, which was two small motorbikes. Memories are strange, they suddenly appear, then what do you do.

July Cats

A calendar with a kitten, cat hooks for key rings, a bit congested but an interesting photo I think. If you look closer you can see an umbrella leaning there. The calender hangs from a paperclip. Oh the joys of non style! I’m messy, not stylish, I’m not tidy, I’m a pragmatic housekeeper. If it works just leave it! July, it’s a cute month. (apologies for the use of the kitten photo, I don’t know the photographer).

The vets

Before he went missing

Today has been busy. My cat came home at 3am, his legs and mouth had some sort of tarry substance on them. He came in and drank water for about ten minutes, then I wiped his eyes and mouth and legs gently to remove some of whatever was on him. I even trimmed some fur off his tail because it was so gummy.

Today I had a good look at him, one of his eyes looked strange and he was still very thirsty so I took him to the vets.

I found out he has an ulcer on one eye and he has damaged his mouth possibly from trying to bite through or on something. He’s lost a lot of weight too. We still don’t know where he’s been. Tonight he’s on a drip at the vets but he should then be able to come home. I hope he will be OK.

Home is where the hearth is..

Me when I was a student..

When I came to Stoke as a student our first year was in student flats but then we had to find our own accommodation. Six of us (three couples) shared a terraced house. Two bedrooms upstairs and me and my boyfriend now hubby shared the front living room. No hot water, just a cold tap in the kitchen and a broken electric water heater tap thing over the sink. No bathroom, loo at the end of the yard (freezing cold, you took a torch with you at night). No central heating. Just an open hearth with a grate in the back living room. We used to burn old wood and bits of cheap coal. No TV, just a radio…. I remember one winter it was so cold we slept on the floor in front of the fire. My hubbies crank on his bike snapped when he tried to ride off in the snow because he kept it outside and it was well below freezing. Oh and single pane glass in the windows. Had to go to the Polytechnic every day for a shower…
It was tough but it was fun. When I saw the young ones TV programme a few years later it reminded me of that house!

Living room, minus clutter

A ‘sort of’ view of my living room, with a tidy floor, no throws on the settee, the gas fire visible, the mantlepiece and chimney breast a bit too narrow. I’ve included some of the books and ornaments, but nowhere near all of them. I was trying to draw by the view from my eyes and it all went a bit fish eye lens. I’m writing this at 3.30am, with sore knees and feet, I walked another 4.4 miles today (yesterday?), anyway day 31 of my #100daywalkingchallenge… Almost a third of it done. I don’t think I will stop now unless I get too much pain. The other reason I can’t sleep? The outdoor cat is sleeping on my side of the bed, and unlike my hubby I try to keep my feet away from him, so I don’t accidentally kick him… He snores (well both of them do!) Night xx

Virtual sketch out…

Enjoyed the virtual sketch out today with #uskstoke ! I drew our house off Google maps, it was too cold and wet to stand outside. Anyone who knows where I live knows my views out of the house are limited so I drew two other places I know from photos too! Oh how I wish I could get out more…. They are Gladstone pottery museum and Penkhull church. Both drawn as snowy scenes so at least they look a bit like the weather today….

He’s in again

In bed, if I lie on my back the outdoor cat now walks onto my chest and lies down. Paws on my hand, he will lie his chin down on my hand too as he goes to sleep. The only trouble is I can’t stay in that position all night, so eventually he lies at the bottom of the bed. He often wants to go back outside after two or three hours, but gradually the time inside is extending and outside getting shorter. And he’s put on weight and my two indoor cats have accepted him.

X

The irritations of lockdown

Being together is supposed to be better than being by yourself. Not as lonely. But when you live in a small house it’s not that simple. A narrow galley kitchen means you struggle to pass each other. One persons shooing is the others dislike. You bought four huge pork pies? The potato salad is full of sugar? Why can’t you put waste food in the bin, instead of letting it float in the sink….. Then there is TV. We don’t have Netflix or anything like that, so we watch terrestrial TV. But do there have to be so many steam train programmes? Tools is another thing. Yes he has a shed, but this time of year he takes over the kitchen, there are batteries, middle boats, cable ties, screwdrivers… The list is endless, all over the place. He doesn’t like shopping and washing up. So the food is weird and the water splashes everywhere. My new cupboard door is loosing it’s surface because its always wet… So I do things myself. The most irritating? When I buy things for both of us and he eats it all first.

If I asked him to write his irritations, he too would have a long list. He would be right! Living together isn’t easy.

Interesting statistic. Married men I’ve five years longer than single men on average, whilst married women live five years less than single ones!