Blurry back yard

Blousy and blurry

Mad back yard. The heavy rain has pepped up all the plants. You have to avoid the baskets. I want to put some washing on the line but it’s clouded over again. I’m tired and hot. A friend came round and after a cup of tea helped cut back part of a large bush that had layered itself (spread outwards with side shoots). Of course I stayed inside for most of the time, but decided to say hi after a rest and ended up helping a bit by cutting off small twigs. By the time I came back in I was exhausted and tired out, hence the shaking. But looking at this really cheered me up. A real plethora and pleasure of flora!

I need to get out.

I sometimes feel trapped in the house. I don’t mind doing things, it’s just since I’ve developed a shaking left arm I feel a bit unsteady on my feet, like I’m going to trip u or something. As I walk my shoulders, arm and hand get tense, then my neck and head finally my feet feel like they are going to tangle up. I just wish it hadn’t sapped my confidence. The garden fence could be iron bars, the front door is the door to my cell…. I suppose it’s me looking for safety and security, but I need to find mental as well as physical balance again.

Shaking

I want to know what is happening with my brain and nerves. I am still struggling with a shaking left arm and hand, and cramps in my left leg and foot. I think it’s a trapped nerve, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’m hoping when I finally get to see a doctor I will get a good result and hopefully it can be fixed. Meanwhile I’m thankful it’s on my left side as I’m right handed. It makes some things more difficult and it’s tiring and frustrating. I know I’ve moaned about this before, but it’s getting to me. I wrote this yesterday but then forgot to publish it. And I’m getting forgetful with some words, but I’m hoping thats just stress! I went for an eye appointment set for the 29th, except it’s in June, not May! No wonder they were not open….Help

WIP a while ago

Before my arm started shaking I was doing paintings like this. (for the last year and a half or so my left arm has been gradually getting worse with increased shaking ) Then I had to see the doctor and mentioned the problem. He said it was above his pay grade! I am waiting for tests. The thing is that art and particularly painting mean everything to me. I don’t know if lockdowns have knocked my confidence? Plus illness gets to you. Making it more difficult to complete work. I’ve got myself into a situation where I will do quick pictures and sketches, but I feel nervous of doing anything more substantial. I don’t usually talk about how I feel mentally, but I’m feeling down today. I will probably be OK tomorrow?

Illness

My body is literally a pain. From recent problems to chronic health issues, I have to admit things are mounting up. I want to get to 100 when Halleys Comet is due to be back in our skies, but I’m getting fed up. I think my mind is fine but things keep going wrong. Must be my genetic makeup. Fingers crossed I don’t get anything else. At least one thing I have is determination. I don’t easily give up. Here’s another lot of tablets? Fine, thank you. I am thankful for the NHS, I don’t know how I would cope without it!

Preparing to paint

Eight tiny and four small canvases waiting to be painted. Despite my shaking arm getting worse, and my right hand starting to shake too. Life has to go on.

I’ve been asked if I want a small table at a craft fair, and I said yes (foolishly). Now I’m faced with these blank canvases. I have an idea for some images, I just hope they turn out OK. The trouble is I’ve put this off for weeks and the fair is tomorrow. Luckily I have some old paintings waiting at my studio so I should be OK. I just need a bit of courage. X

Feeling owlish

Finger drawn owl

Using the digital drawing app on my phone I just did this. There is no chance of it being celtic as its a finger drawing and my arm shakes too much to draw straight or neatly curved lines.

Still it was fun to use the mirrored curves tool (what is it called?) to create this. I liked adding a bit of p

Moth/butterfly

I was looking at this tiny moth or butterfly and decided to take a photo. Not easy without a macro lens. I had to get close enough to take a photo but if I got too close it wouldn’t focus. So I moved away a bit, zoomed in a little bit and leaned on something for stability. (I have a shaking arm and camera shake is an ever present problem). I used the sharpness tool on my phone (only about 2%).

The moth/butterfly is about 2 centimetres wide at its widest part. Pale brown and white. I couldn’t see any antenna. Do moths rest with wings spread out, or closed, that’s why I’m not sure.