I am quite lost

My mind is a bit muddled at the moment. I am dealing with lots of ‘stuff’ and I feel overwhelming worry that I won’t get back on track. My life physically has been bothering me and I’m waiting for an appointment to try and find answers. I’m dealing with things for myself, my family and friends, and because I can put a good case for things I don’t mind helping. But when you persue various options and each one closes down it gets more and more frustrating. I wish I could herd cats, work out the best thing for us. I had to ask for help recently, and that was difficult. I’m a proud person and I don’t like to think I can’t cope. But you know those straws that broke the camels back? I think they are building up. Maybe I need to hibernate and look after myself, but turning away from others is not in my nature.

February dragons

Looking back at my sketchbook I found this from February this year. I think I was going put more then. Going for walks and not exactly seeing people but socialising more.

Then I pulled a calf muscle and it really knocked me back. I am seeing a lot less people and turning into a recluse. My walking consists of going to the shops a couple of times a day. This weekend I actually went to my art group meeting. I was trying to finish a dog painting and I used it as an excuse to get out the house and do some art. I think that has helped me break out a bit. My mojo needs to be released again!

A short walk at last

Today, for the first time in about three months I walked around the top of our hill (I drove up as I’m still nervous of putting pressure on my calf muscles).

It still had a little uphill section at the end (we walked downhill at the start). But I managed OK. I’d decided to go out early, before the sun set, and the sky still had some colour in it when we got down to the area of school playing fields that spread down into the Trent Valley.

On the walk we saw two dog walkers, one with a French bulldog and a Staffordshire bull terrier, the other with two beautiful golden retrievers. Both pairs of dogs wanted a fuss so that delayed us getting to see the sunset. It was only a couple of thousand steps but as I had already walked into town and back I at least got my 5000 steps in. On a cold breezy day it was good to blow the cobwebs away at last.

Birthday balloon

Helium is the second element in the periodic table, atomic number two. It was first discovered when they measured the spectrum of the Sun. It was found as a line in the spectrum that did not appear to be on Earth.

Balloons like this are filled with this dwindling resource, if I remember correctly it’s from a place in America. I think there is a world shortage.

Helium is the second lightest element, but unlike Hydrogen which is the lightest, it doesn’t react with anything. So Helium stays on its own, it escapes out of our atmosphere. Hydrogen on the other hand reacts with many elements and this results in H2O, water, as two hydrogen atoms link with one oxygen.

Coventry University had a whole series of videos on YouTube that was about the elements if I remember. It was very interesting and they discussed all the elements in the periodic table. It was presented by a professor with mad grey curly hair….

Wishing it was warm

Finally the temperature is plummeting. Warm days this November are fading as the Jet Stream of wind changes position and cold air tumbles down from the Arctic. Some parts of Britain might see wintery showers soon. Then my garden plants will be hit by the chill. In the meantime I can only think of the glorious plants that bloomed in the spring and summer and the seasons ahead of us. Looking forward to the future again.

Why do things go wrong

Splat!

Just when you think things are OK sometimes they go wrong.

Case in point, we have to get copies of documents sent in for something. I collected everything together but a couple of things are missing. We went to the shop and got a copy of the sales invoice. Then I checked a document and its not up to date, it was done on line but we were never sent the original documents. Much head scratching, swear words, contacting people. I hope I have sorted it out, but you never know.

I suppose the thing to realise is that lots of people are struggling too. It’s just life and beauracracy, we have to have bits of paper to prove things. But now they do things online… It’s not simple. You have to log in and remember passwords. Only I have a different one for everything! Splat, my mind is whirling.

Fed up

I’m sorry to say I’m not well. I seem to be getting one thing after another wrong with me. My back and neck are aching. I’m worried I might have shingles but trying to get in the doctors is proving impossible. Everything is so busy, the NHS is getting overwhelmed and so many people are struggling to get treatment. So I’m drinking plenty of fluids and taking pain killers. I’m truly fed up. I have things I need to do and this means I have to keep putting them off.

Nebula

I’m looking at some photos of my old paintings, I realise I’ve got a lot of inspirations, including astronomy. This was a painting I did of a Nebula. I tried to be as accurate as I could. Clearly it’s impossible to be exact, and positioning of the stars is approximately done. I don’t remember which Nebula photo I looked at. It was probably in the Sky at Night magazine which I sometimes use for inspiration. I’m no expert, I think I’m more interested in the visual representation rather than the celestial mechanics and chemistry of the different gases.