Autumn woman

This is my painting ‘autumn woman’ I did a few years ago. I wish I was doing more art like this but I’ve really been overwhelmed by trying to do other college work. There are other things I need to do too. This covid pandemic have made my introverted ways even more entrenched. I wish I had the freedom I used to have. But self isolation and protecting myself have been my consideration all the way through. My hubby and I still insist on wearing masks… Although many seem to have forgotten the need for them, forgotten or are ignoring. Our prime minister does not show a good example… Oh I must not stray into politics!

Hey ho! Got to find my mojo!

Would you go into space?

Mosaic at the BCB

With the advent of space travel becoming available for space tourists I wonder if its something I would go for.

The cost is exorbitant, in the millions, and the risks must be considered. Also the ones that are going are either very rich or famous. I don’t begrudge them doing it, but I hope this doesn’t turn into a new thing to do on their ‘bucket list’. Maybe instead of going into space for ten minutes they could donate that money to pay for covid vaccines in poor countries, or support working towards cutting pollution or reducing global warming.

Instead of selfish joy rides these space tourists should be more considerate. Me? If I could afford it I would stay with my feet firmly on the ground!

Toothache

I’m not happy. Had toothache for a while. Its hard to get into dentists at the moment with waiting times six or eight weeks. Plus I have a fear of them. I’ve been scared since I was a child but I can’t afford not to go. I keep using sensitive toothpaste and mouthwash, but it’s been years since I’ve visited a dentist. My own responsibility. I must sort it out. So I’m not smiling at the moment.

Tired

Another day of a bug. I don’t think it’s covid, I think it’s some sort of cold. I ache and I’m tired, but I don’t have the covid symptoms thankfully. I usually go outside wearing a mask. But one day last week I forgot. But as I was not going in any shops I thought I’d be OK. But perhaps someone sneezed or coughed? And I try to stop breathing for a few seconds as I walk passed people….

I guess there will be a lot less bugs about as we sheild ourselves from the Pandemic. But it doesn’t mean there aren’t other illnesses out there. Waiting for some throat or nose to lodge in, or to be caught on your hand by touching a surface with bacteria or viruses that have landed on it.

Life… A convoluted mix of luck and confusion.

Not that bad…

Lockdown, I can only go out for exercise and do essential shopping.

But when you think about it, it’s not that bad. I’m not stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to. I am warm, I have food, I cn talk to people on the phone or online. I might be getting a bit bored. But it’s not like in the past, when I was a child. On Sundays everywhere was closed. No one that worked in simple, low paid jobs, could afford a car. Very few eople had tv’s and there was only one channel and a few radio stations. Computers didn’t exist except in universities or in the armed forces. The air was dirty and polluted, coal fires were the norm to heat houses. It was a different world.

Now we are linked? Possibly too much. But if we stay away from each other as much as we can? Things might just get better…

Reflected

Drawing from August 2020? my reflection and my little sketchbook in the patterned swirls of glass in the back door. So often is it that I’m holding my phone that I thought that was what the black square was when I looked at it again. Black pen and coloured pencils to get the effect of glass. I have a lot of sketches from over the period of the pandemic. I was already drawing a lot before it arrived, but I hope my skills have improved over that time.

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I want to be out!

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By a waterfall, in the countryside, with friends. A little picnic, some cheese sandwiches, a flask of tea? An apple or a banana. Sunshine, a scent of flowers on the breeze. Driving a few miles further than I have for the last few months. Out of the city. Where my feet can touch grass. Where my eyes can be dazzled with colour and the clouds are as white washed cotton. I want time to go back. Before pandemics and Covid, before corruption and death..

Is it too much to ask?

Tension

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I wake on a cliff edge.

Teetering, tottering..

Tension racks my shoulders

Stiff, creaking joints.

Sleep does not touch the tightness.

I feel like bones will break.

Mentally I’m OK,

Physically I’m OK

But my mind is tying my body in knots.

Spine fused with tension.

Like a gathering storm.

Waves waiting to break,

Teeth ground to sand.

Life fights.

Thunder clashes overhead.

Will I fall?

Will I stand.

Still.

 

Shopping

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I knew I was going to have to go out shopping when my hubby went out to get loo roll and came back with a light bulb!

I went out to try and get a week’s shopping, or more if I can make it last. I usually shop every few days because I don’t have the storage space in my small kitchen for much, and because I only have a small fridge freezer I can’t fit much in that.

First shop, no meat, got a couple of veggie lasagne’s. Two bananas (I left two behind), some mixed veg and a few more things. Second shop. There was no loo paper (what is it with people?) so I bought their last box of man sized tissues. (that always makes me laugh, are they six foot tall tissues?) Third shop, a few pieces of chicken, some burgers, celery, pasta sauce, a bit more.

I gave up the search and came home. One day soon the hoarding will stop.. It isn’t sensible, but what is? I have a feeling that this is partly being driven by that stupidity called Brexit. I think that people have been so wound up by that, that they have got into a seige mentality. The British can be very bloody minded. Its also difficult not to relate it to the idea that the country expects to be cut off from the European continent and is acting like it has already happened.

So what can we do? Deal with the virus, try and stay inside and stay safe. I will still have to go shopping. As to the B word. Maybe this will make people realise its not such a good idea after all….

I’ve read a few of John Wyndhams’ books about the world order collapsing ( Day of the Triffids, The Kraken Wakes,) he doesn’t mention toilet rolls once!

How did we get here?

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A few weeks ago no one had heard of Corona Virus. Now the world is panicking. From an illness that started in the East, it has spread across the world. At one stage we were told it was less harmful than seasonal flu. Now people are self isolating. The problem is that there is no immunity in the population to it. It’s new, so humans haven’t had the chance to get used to it. Vaccines will be created, but that takes time. They have to be tested before they can be used safely. Now governments are setting limits to how many people can meet, shutting down sports events, and stocks and shares are dropping in value. Its as if the world has gone mad. We’ve watched too many zombie movies and people are trying to make sense of what’s going on. Hopefully things will improve soon.

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