Bad day

My day has been spent shut inside the house. Not wanting to go out, shaky and achy. My feet are cramping, my hands tremble and twist tightly. I started doomscrolling which was a mistake. I also wanted to keep out of the heat and humidity.

This is the reality of a bad day of Parkinsons. Quiet, just mooching, worrying, thinking about the future. Things I can’t do. Fears of what I need to be careful about.

I need to put washing on the line, I really need shopping. But I had trouble washing my hair. I’m not supposed to get water in my eye because of the surgery, but leaning backwards in the shower feels very unsteady.

Reading about other people’s problems makes me realise how much people have to put up with. Life isn’t always easy.

BUT my Cat just jumped on my lap. She’s happy and purring… Not so bad then..

Why?

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

I’m not sure I want a tattoo, I’ve managed not to get one so far in my life, but I might be persuaded if someone could give me a good argument to get one?

So what should I get an image of and where should I have it….? Perhaps a discrete one on a hidden part of my anatomy, my upper arm, back or leg? I’ve got no one to hide it from though, and they are much more beautiful than the old fashioned love and hate words on peoples knuckles. I know people with sleeves and huge tattoos on their backs or legs. I’m not afraid of being tattooed but I would rather design something for someone else..

A tattoo for me? My hubby always says I have eyes in the back of my head….

Searching

Five hours searching paperwork. I’ve still nof found everything I need. I have got to get some information in by the end of this month but can I find it? Can I Heck! It’s always the same. I put things away somewhere I think it will be safe, but then I’ve lost it a year or so later. So frustrating. I also blame the fear of identity theft. I keep more documents than I need to because I don’t want to put anything that identifies us in the waste bin. I should shred things but my shredder gets too hot so it doesn’t get used very often.

Which Saint so I pray to, to find things? Is it the Saint of lost causes?

Flitting

My mind flits

From one thought to another

Over the same land

At different stages of coherence.

Dreams of silky seas

That were not mine

Or high mountain peaks

All is enfolded within.

Pictures taken by others

Hidden folds and valleys

Corrugations of brain.

Dream travel can be overwhelming

Or limited to a single room

Hidden meaning or memory.

Then the cotton thread snaps

And you wake,

To grey darkness

Stuck back in reality

Only a thin film away

But so far

From dream country.

I can’t talk

There’s people I need to speak to, but as the days go on I get less likely to reach out. Its like I’m encapsulating myself against the whole world. Retreating into myself, hiding away? So nothing else can hurt me. Keeping busy where I have to, but really all I want is to put my head under the covers and escape from the world. Self protection, I hope it’s not selfishness. I don’t know if I will feel better soon. Am I being lazy? No, definitely not. Just torn apart.

The bricks….

Someone had taken off the plaster and replaced the bricks, you could see it, new mortar holding them in place. The house had been bought at auction, half refurbished, needing plasterboard and plaster. It wouldn’t take much to tidy it up ready for the rental market.

But Sam was nosey, she liked riddles, and as the wallwas double thickness and she wanted to fit an extra window, well why not put a lintle in and add the bathroom window here?

She decided to get her brother to help. They would support the top of the hole with a metal beam and then knock out the hole afterwards. They managed to get the beam in but it was late so they stopped.

Early next morning she went to the house. Picking up a sledge hammer she hit the wall where the new bricks were a couple of times, there was a crack and half a brick fell out. She could see, what? Plastic behind it. Someone had wrapped a package up and stuffed it into the gap between the layers of bricks. She hit the wall again, the bricks shattered and fell to the floor. She reached in…. A bag full of ten and twenty pound notes! What were they doing there. They were new style notes, the ones that look like plastic not paper.

Should she keep them? Should she hand them in? The phrase ‘finders keepers’ came into her mind…. Should she?

Dodgy man

Dodgy man! We came home today and saw a man looking in our hedge. We asked what he was doing and he said he was looking for a box he’d hidden there so his mum didn’t see it. He said it was a ring doorbell that he’d spent £80 on, but he’d panicked and hid it incase she found out he’d bought it. (he was very scruffy and dirty and said he’d been a tattooist but now he sits drawing outside sainsburys). I helped him look while hubby looked in the garden. I wanted to prove it wasn’t there mostly so he would go away. It’s worrying having people put things in the hedge. We have found stolen things in the past we have reported to the police! He eventually left. I felt sorry for him but it was dodgy! Hubby told him if he comes back we will have a ring the police.

Ivy fairy

Found in the garden under a bush. She was wrapped in ivy and laurel leaves. Lost in our garden. A wood fairy or sprite, turned not to stone, but sadly only resin. Still, she slowly danced through spring and autumn, summer and winter. Slowly submerged in vegetation. I’m glad she’s rescued. Now she’s in the yard, surrounded by petals and colours. Nasturtiums, petunias, fushias, begonias, a true flower fairy. Blooming lovely.

Hidden passion flower

Deep in the jungle of vegetation that is our back garden are a few passion flower plants. They were coming into bud over the last few days and at last one has flowered! It’s sitting next to a fushia plant and is on the ground. Another one is trained up the downpipe to the guttering and a third is trained along the trellis fence above the wall. The only worry is the hot weather and lack of water. We have been using a hosepipe but that is likely to be banned soon. That’s part of the reason why I hang the hanging baskets one above the other.. It drops through and waters the one below too..