New paintings and regular art updates.
I saw a prompt on Esther Chilton’s page “dreams” and decided to write a poem about loss to respond to it. Here it is.
In my dreams you are still here
I grasp your hand to pull you near
To say “goodnight” to you my sweet,
As my heart trips and skips a beat,
To have you here, to hear you speak,
That is the dream I really seek.
I know that you have gone away,
Will never see another day.
I’m in a dream now, holding on
To memories of you though you’ve gone.
A photo of me taken by a friend when I was trying to sell small paintings at craft fairs. I’m afraid covid really knocked the head on this, I’ve only done a few small craft fairs since this and basically just one or two in 2023. The cost of hiring a stall usually cancelled out any sales money and also the cost of buying art supplies made the idea non viable. But I tried and I made some nice friends.
An innocent day, a year ago. We were out at a Rode Hall, walking through the bluebell woods. No sign of the troubles ahead.
I wish I could hold the hand I held for 43 years, so firm and strong, walking into sunlight with you. Taking each step carefully along the path. You leading the way, supporting me.
I heard the birds singing and felt a gentle breeze that shook the bluebell heads. Nodding in the dappled shade. All ready for some fairy parade when we were gone.
I drew this later from a photo, I wish I could go back in time.
Last year we got some blossom on our apple tree but very few fruit. This year despite cold wet and windy weather the tree is absolutely covered in blossom.
The tree is bent over and trained against our fence so our neighbours actually have more of the tree in their garden. I’m hoping the blossom gets pollenated but again I’ve seen very few insects because of the weather. Fingers are definitely crossed on this.
I’d love to have one of these, I have normal peony plants, but this is a shrub with bright yellow, flowers. Maybe I will treat myself to one as an early birthday present. I need to maintain my garden but it’s not easy to look after. It’s on a slope and the ivy is taking over, great ground cover but it’s smothering other plants. I need to do some serious pruning if I have the strength. What’s putting me off? I’m scared of slipping and falling. I always take a walking stick out there now to give me a bit more stability. I might offer friends a gardening and cake day to get some work done? Is that a good idea. I don’t know.
I think this is wild garlic? I took the photo a year ago. I love having a, wild and wooly garden. I am concerned that my fruit trees came into blossom early I haven’t seen many insects about so I’m not sure if they have been fertilised. I can only wait.
I enjoyed going out to see the Boat Band at the Beehive tonight. It’s been over 6 months since I have been out to see them. The pub was quite full with jolly people and it was lovely to feel that mood wash over me. It felt very strange being on my own though. And odd not having my hubby to talk to. But I’m glad I went, I even tried singing a couple of songs.
It had been another long day and I had a hospital appointment in the afternoon, I’m so grateful that my friend came with me to keep me company although she had to wait for an hour and a half while I had a scan. I couldn’t stop shaking so I hope they managed to get good pictures.
Now I’m shattered, I need some food but I might just have a sandwich and go to bed. But I’m really glad I went out. Life has to have some good times.
Crying is cathartic
Tears relieve stress
But do they ever stop?
Many more to come
Will they ever end
When will they be done?
Quiet nights are worst
But even in the day
Tears will still fall
Thinking, all alone
In my little home
Sadness overwhelms.
Looking forward’s hard
Past this veil of tears
Into future years…
Last years tulips were beautiful. We had seven or eight in the pots outside our house, sadly this year I only had two. I haven’t got on top of gardening because of everything that’s been happening and I will regret not being able to keep up with the seasons. I’m going to try and make more of an effort, a bit at a time, give myself rests in between spells of gardening. It might take a while and I need to try and put the effort in
Something my mother collected, possibly a wedding present from the 1950’s? I’ve always loved this set. I borrowed it off my sister so I could use it in some college work about dragons.
This is a Chinese dragon I think? It might be Japanese, the way to tell is the number of toes on its feet. I think I remember that Japanese dragons have three toes and Chinese have four or five? If you know please remind me.
The coffee set was probably made for the export market and won’t be worth a great deal but I like it, it’s quirky and interesting. I think the dragon itself is quite humerous. I like the colours, also the airbrushing and the slip trailed areas.
I just Google imaged this, it’s Japanese Moriage Bone China.
Mallaband-Brown