New paintings and regular art updates.
Reflected, I imagine myself.
Caught between then and now,
near and far.
Lost, not found.
Dimension four,
Time to turn round,
clear my mind,
start again.
Decide to be.
Free.
I have a very complex, photo shopped picture of my hand I did years ago on my mantlepiece. But for my drawing today I changed it to a more colourful pattern and made it slightly more abstract. I’ve seen pendants with two thumbs, I’m not sure of the significance of the symbol, so I will try and find out.
I really need to paint. Get past this feeling of dread and give myself freedom to do things again!
X
I’m part of a quiz team which is meeting online for the first time, and we need to decide on a name for us.
It’s complicated because the team will be videoconferencing and texting at the same time… Technology. As they say its a steep learning curve.
Then of course there’s the questions. I think there might be a theme to them. When I went to a ‘real life’ quiz run by the same people the theme was seasonal. I don’t have a clue about the questions. As long as they are not music or sports based.
So wish us luck and hopefully by Monday we’ll have a name.
A couple of weeks ago? A friend asked me to share details of a meeting against the lockdown and I refused. I thought it was a bad idea as its just an opportunity for the virus to start spreading again…
It now turns out that there have been calls all over the country for people to meet up. It looks like a peaceful protest… BUT it turns out the meetings are being organised by far right anti vaccination groups.
What worries me is that people will go.
The outcome may be: Hug, meet, die! Our health service is struggling. Why would you go and infect a stranger? People are asymptomatic and may not even be aware they are ill. Will all of them be wearing masks…? I doubt it.
Stay safe, don’t go to one of these meetings. Don’t be misled by right-wing agitators.
The weight of the world,
making me creak,
making me break,
making me crumble and quake.
Pushing me down,
pushing me under,
finding a crack,
break me asunder.
Restricted and tight,
no room for movement,
shoulders so stiff,
I want to surrender.
Sleep is my safety,
sleep is my friend,
but like a lost child,
I cannot find peace.
Dreams do not come,
only a blackness,
to tired to think,
curled on my mattress.
One day I’ll wake,
free from this tension,
or I’ll be gone,
broken,
departed.
I shone a bright torch on our disco ball (yes I’ve got one) took a photo, then another one with the torch on a lower power. Duplicated the photos, and ended up with a couple of interesting pictures that are quite abstract…..
Playing with shapes and light is fun.
Experimental things teach you
How to make new things.
If you don’t try,
You never learn….
Dancing at a barn dance,
putting up an exhibition,
displaying art on my craft stall.
Walking along the canal,
cycling through the countryside,
taking tea at a posh teashop.
Visiting a castle,
looking out to sea,
feeling the wind in my hair.
I’m glad I’m not
suffering from hunger,
hiding from bombs,
frightened and missing my family.
Too poor to buy medicine,
and all the time oppressed.
I may wish for things,
but I’m lucky to have things.
I’m tired
A bit lonely,
I have company,
But it isn’t easy.
I should ring you
I should speak,
But I hesitate,
I wait.
And all alone,
But yet, together,
My mind is caught,
My brain is baffled.
My shoulders tight.
I am alone,
In the end,
All alone.
Lonely.
That feeling of being trapped, a prisoner. But should that be our first feeling? In these weird times we can use ideas to try and cope. I’ve been talking to a friend, and I said that I thought being enclosed in a home is more akin to being a priest or a nun. Let me explain. I don’t mean in a religious way exactly. But if your home is safe, then it’s like being closed off from the rest of the world. Even to the extent that some people became hermits. Clearly this is not out of choice. But the point is you don’t have to feel imprisoned.
Yes it’s frustrating. I would really like to go to a restaurant or a pub or go out for a walk. And because I can’t go out I think about it more. But it is a temporary situation. It’s bad, but it’s not going to harm me to stay home. Stay safe.
X
A forty year old photo of a river I took when I was young.
It reminded me to calm down, try and relax, maybe ignore the news for a couple of days and get some rest.
I’ve also had to leave some of the emails I get. I can’t keep up with all the notifications of news. I want to read everyone’s posts, but I have responsibilities that I need to take care of. Even in this mad situation you still have to cope.
So anyway. I hope everyone is doing OK. It’s hard to think of people stuck in their homes. Not allowed out. In lockdown. I imagined that the world was linked and that people would feel each others pain or loneliness. But of course that isn’t true. Otherwise when people in different countries went through famine or disease we would know and help them… But sadly it doesn’t work like that.
Mallaband-Brown