What do sad words mean?
Do they explain
Do they confer
Anything?
How do I say
What I feel?
Words are not easy
They don’t encapsulate
They don’t wrap you
In their arms.
They are just noise
Between people
When what I need
Is a hug?
Sad words
Tag: Life
Putin out!
The Russians continue to try and take over Ukraine and its citizens. They have run a referendum in the south and east of Ukraine to see whether the people there would vote to rejoin Russia. Four regions were balloted. Russian soldiers went door to door with guns and got people to vote for Russia. They have announced a 96% vote in favour. But these referenda were not free and fair.
The annexation is illegal, but Putin will use it to say parts of Ukraine are now Russian soil. Then he has threatened any fighting to try and take it back could result in the use of Nuclear weapons. This is madness. Seven months into a war on European land this must stop.
Other things that have happened include damage to the Nordstream one and two gas pipelines bringing gas to Europe from Russia. Methane gas a kilometer wide US bubbling up from the baltic sea.
Ukraine continues to be bombarded but the army is fighting back. Where it will end? No one knows.
Green Mars
I was reading a fellow bloggers post about a book that describes the complexity of the middle ages and how peoples freedom was affected by their ability to sell goods locally. I’m afraid I am struggling to understand the explanations.
It led me to think about a book I’m currently reading called Green Mars. It is the second of a trilogy about terraforming Mars by Kim Stanley Garner. The ideas in the second book Green Mars go into a lot of details about transnational companies becoming the defacto rulers of Mars. The population of earth are split between the rich who have had gerantological treatments and the poor who only have slight access to them. It’s amazing how thought through the future civilisation is. But it’s densely argued, even with a well plotted history including a brief third world war.
I’m only half way through the book, having read the first book in the trilogy, Red Mars, a few years ago. It’s my second attempt to read it. I’d read the first chapter during lock down but couldn’t get into the book. I think it’s worth reading if you don’t want rip roaring sci-fi, but a densely imagined history of the characters that use their scientific knowledge to terraform the planet. Reading about varieties of variously genetically enhanced people plants and lichens is fascinating if you have the inclination to read it.
I have Blue Mars on the bookshelves somewhere, I might try and read it one day.
Picnic
Memory of a picnic on the beach this summer. The tide was out. There was soft sand to sit on. We had a simple meal of salad and melon for dessert. What makes it memorable was that it was a beach we visited a few years before and I didn’t think we would be able to go back. It didn’t matter that it was overcast, or that the beach was quite crowded, it made me feel happy. That’s why it’s good to go back to this memory. Nothing bad happened and it was really enjoyable. I need good memories.
Pear time
Pears off our tree and oranges from the supermarket. This shows just how big our pears have grown this year. They needed picking as they won’t ripen on the tree. The tree was a small sapling from a woolworths store in Stoke twenty years ago or so, before the stores went bust. It’s now a tree about fifteen foot high and spreading branches about twenty or twenty five foot across. It grew leaning over because of the weight of the pears. I have to say they are very tasty when they are ripe. I think they are a conference style of pear. We have had around fifty or sixty pears but most of them are too high to reach, the ones in the bowl were low hanging.
Texting
Texting, I hate it, trying to think of the right words, how to put feelings into what you say, without appearing abrupt or rude. Today I had a text and each answering phrase I wrote was edited four or five times. You can’t put nuance into texts. If I were a poet I could add different ideas and concepts to help make things more clear. But texting is generally short and simple. But also not always considered. At one stage I hit the thumbs up symbol accidentally that was not appropriate. I wish I could have deleted it. All I could say was sorry.
Poppies in devon
Memory of a trip to the Southwest of England. We stopped off at a lovely sea cove, and on the cliffs above it there were bright red poppies. These were so cheering, waving in the breeze along with rough stalks of grass. I need to paint a picture of a poppy field, this might be an inspiration to work from.
Surviving
The baskets are fading
Flowers crumple
Heads droop
Cold chills damage
Frosts pinch
Petals weep.
My beautiful baskets
The soft stems bend
Leaves are yellowed
Colour muted.
My sad eyes watch
Summers splendor fade
My floral glories
Gone soon I fear.
Some are stronger
Woodier stems
Allow life to continue
A little longer.
Missing choir
I’m not going to choir practice yet. I just don’t feel up to it. Singing is such an emotional thing. I just know if I go I will want to cry. I can’t face that yet. When I go back I want to be calm and a lot less stressed. Everything is so painful in my mind and in my body. I maybe should not share these feelings, but sometimes it’s better to say something. I don’t have the energy to worry about anyone else at the moment, and that makes me feel guilty.
To anyone else going through loss, I’d like to send my deepest sympathies, I can’t feel the same way as they do, but I do care.
Tight shoulders
I had an ache in my shoulders this morning and it’s got worse as the day has gone on. One side is always aching, but today the other side is hurting too, and my neck is very sore. I don’t know if I’m ill, or tense, or if it’s caused by anxiety. The drawing was done a few years ago in photoshop.
Mallaband-Brown 