I’m not going to choir practice yet. I just don’t feel up to it. Singing is such an emotional thing. I just know if I go I will want to cry. I can’t face that yet. When I go back I want to be calm and a lot less stressed. Everything is so painful in my mind and in my body. I maybe should not share these feelings, but sometimes it’s better to say something. I don’t have the energy to worry about anyone else at the moment, and that makes me feel guilty.

To anyone else going through loss, I’d like to send my deepest sympathies, I can’t feel the same way as they do, but I do care.