Missing choir

I’m not going to choir practice yet. I just don’t feel up to it. Singing is such an emotional thing. I just know if I go I will want to cry. I can’t face that yet. When I go back I want to be calm and a lot less stressed. Everything is so painful in my mind and in my body. I maybe should not share these feelings, but sometimes it’s better to say something. I don’t have the energy to worry about anyone else at the moment, and that makes me feel guilty.

To anyone else going through loss, I’d like to send my deepest sympathies, I can’t feel the same way as they do, but I do care.

Fait acompli

As I get older I realise I can’t go back in time. Entropy, the movement of things from order to disorder. Things break down. Chaos increases. Things burn down. Look at the dinosaurs, they dissappeared. The Burslem Leopard Hotel is now extinct. My time there is lost.

Stop feeling sorry for myself.

Accept its happened.

Have time to mourn.

Try and recover.

It’s only a building,

Sadness,

X