New paintings and regular art updates.
Today, after a very bad night’s sleep, I got up and decided to go to the Orme Art Group today. We had booked a life model to sit for us and I didn’t want to miss it. I had bought new ink pens and black sharpie pens to use in my sketchbook. This drawing took a couple of hours, I wanted to capture the patterns on her skirt and scarf and the autumn leaves outside the window. I think this went well and I’m pleased with it. Going out and talking to the friends in the group really helped.
The cats stare at me, what do I mean to them? What do they want? Unblinking, looking silently. The sight is unnerving. And so many cats, all together. Like a jury sitting at a trial. No tails twitch, no ears turn. The concentrated look is infinitely worrying. Like some form of hive mind…. Do cats do that? I thought you couldn’t herd cats, but these ones? They know what they want, and I feel like a mouse in their glaring cats eyes….. Inscrutable…
Summers over and my sandals must be put away for another year. I will have to get my flat heels out again. I don’t bother to buy pairs of shoes. I bought three sorts of the same type in different colours, and never wore them! It’s strange, some women have tens or hundreds of pairs, and different ones for different occasions, I never got into that. I think it’s because I’ve never had much money. When we had a death in our family when I was a teenager, my mother gave us money to buy a dress and cardigan and shoes to wear to the funeral. I think that’s why I don’t get excited buying clothes or shoes. As long as they aren’t falling apart I keep wearing them….
Today’s #bandofsketchers prompt was paper. I realised I’m surrounded by the stuff. Sketchbooks, newspapers, cards, envelopes, etters, books, novels, paperbacks, calendars, magazines, print outs. I’ve tried to represent them in a sketch. The image is imagined, but my house is a mess at the moment so it is littered with paper things.
Autumn comes round
every year
the leaves change colour
from green to golds
and reds and yellows.
Falling in ragged heaps.
Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.
Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.
Drawing for the prompt of ‘nights are drawing in’, I wanted to create a moonrise and I used a previous meditation drawing. I added colour and form, then used a texture app to emphasise the original lines from the drawing, #bandofsketchers.
It’s been hard to think of things to be grateful about over the last few days. I’m trying to record three things a day to try and have a positive effect on my brain. I guess it has helped a bit, but I’m looking for the tiniest bit of positivity at the moment. One thing I look for is hearts. It could be a bit of my random drawing looks like a heart, or a cloud shaped like one. Maybe even a petal or leaf on the ground. Small things…..
My mind is swirling
Bits gang up against each other
Jumbled and shaken
Flying in different directions
One day I feel OK.
The next, confused and sad
So I draw and doodle
Sketch and map my mind
I will keep going
And see what I find….
This drawing is another meditation. As I spiralled around drawing complex patterns I thought about aspects of mine and my siblings life. By thinking about her as I drew I could concentrate without getting too upset. I let myself think about how things could be different, and that she may have been spared. I don’t know if it was a comfort but I had been watching a programme about quantum entanglement and the possible multiverse. I am not an astrophysicist and I have no idea if this theory would have any effect on variations of people/places/times, but it gave me a little strange comfort.
Mallaband-Brown