Paper

Today’s #bandofsketchers prompt was paper. I realised I’m surrounded by the stuff. Sketchbooks, newspapers, cards, envelopes, etters, books, novels, paperbacks, calendars, magazines, print outs. I’ve tried to represent them in a sketch. The image is imagined, but my house is a mess at the moment so it is littered with paper things.

My muddled brain

Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.

Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.

Gratitudes

It’s been hard to think of things to be grateful about over the last few days. I’m trying to record three things a day to try and have a positive effect on my brain. I guess it has helped a bit, but I’m looking for the tiniest bit of positivity at the moment. One thing I look for is hearts. It could be a bit of my random drawing looks like a heart, or a cloud shaped like one. Maybe even a petal or leaf on the ground. Small things…..

Spiralling

This drawing is another meditation. As I spiralled around drawing complex patterns I thought about aspects of mine and my siblings life. By thinking about her as I drew I could concentrate without getting too upset. I let myself think about how things could be different, and that she may have been spared. I don’t know if it was a comfort but I had been watching a programme about quantum entanglement and the possible multiverse. I am not an astrophysicist and I have no idea if this theory would have any effect on variations of people/places/times, but it gave me a little strange comfort.