New paintings and regular art updates.
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No point in pretending
That I love the game
I understand the offside rule
I can explain it
But why should I?
I admired England’s Women
Playing in the European Cup
That was refreshing.
But Premier league?
Expensive, over hyped, boring,
Is my opinion.
And the World Cup venue?
Inequality and slave labour?
A Man’s paradise
Where women are second class
Rainbows are rebuked
Sports washing is preventing
Real freedoms.
Enough said.
Landscape painted a couple of months ago. I may paint more in this style. I just need to get organised. Life has been hard over the last few weeks, but it must carry on (hopefully). I need to move this from one gallery to another so more people see it. X
It’s social media so I’m not sharing her whole face or naming her. But she had a good Farewell yesterday, kind words and thoughts. We seperated in late teenage hood as I left home to go to college. We went in different directions, I think she had a more romantic view of life and she had an almost fairy tale history (married with two children). I won’t talk much about her world, I don’t want to share too much personal information. We were seperated by many miles, but the bond was still there. I wish we had been closer and visited more. Bereavement is full of regret. I do regret, but I don’t feel guilty.
Twins on the TV, twins in conversations, twins on the Internet. It’s like the universe knows what’s going on, and bereavement too, so sad that there are so many loses. Each one gouges another piece from my heart. The smoke alarm went off a couple of mornings ago. I want cooking and there are no sockets or electrical equipment near to it. The only thing I could think of was to check the Internet. False alarms are caused by high humidity or maybe a small spider sneaking inside the alarm! Or my mind telling me my sister is haunting me? I’d rather see her in a dream, to properly say goodbye. I’m sad, but I have to accept what has happened.
I want to time travel
Back to Cornwall
Back to happy days
Laughing and crying
With happiness.
Warm sunshine
And late sunsets
Beautiful countryside
Gentle breezes
Walking across fields
Passing cows and horses
Before the sadness.
My eyes flood with tidal waves of tears.
Storm clouds have darkened my brows.
Salt tears course down my cheeks.
Time has flown, she is gone.
My sister – my twin.
Written and drawn at 4am. Things just got to me again and it seemed a good way of expressing myself.
It’s a cool day, and we don’t have the heating on, but I feel hot. I’m wearing a jumper so that might be the cause, but my guts ache too. I hope I’m not ill. I haven’t eaten anything strange, I made a nice chicken and pasta meal last night and it was thoroughly cooked. Basically lots of vegetables, some tomato pasta sauce, two small chicken breasts (apologies to vegetarians) and some multi coloured pasta. Tonight we are going to have pizza so I guess I’m in an Italian mood?
Other symptoms? I think the lethargy I’m feeling is still from sadness. It’s taking me a while to get over things. Maybe my immune system is a bit low? Or perhaps that’s just me guessing. Meanwhile life goes on. I’ll get a cup of tea and maybe doze for a while. The cat has just come up to say hello…
Doodle, art, thinking.
Yes those are some of the tags I’m using for this. Then sadness, black and white, lines, drawing.
I had some sad news today, a reason behind what happened to someone. A shape to the hurt. Knowing is not a resolution, and it’s just made me sadder. So I will keep making art and trying to distract myself. That’s all I can do.
Flashing like a beacon, connected in all different directions, emotions bursting out into the world. Thoughts spiralling. Pain, anxiety, calm, hope, dreams, fear, sadness all mingles. If I can find a thread to pull me through all of the entangled ideas. The tears keep falling.
Today I reached out and so many people reached back to me. I feel overwhelmed with their support. I need to hope things will improve. I think the friends I have made that hope more real.
This drawing is another meditation. As I spiralled around drawing complex patterns I thought about aspects of mine and my siblings life. By thinking about her as I drew I could concentrate without getting too upset. I let myself think about how things could be different, and that she may have been spared. I don’t know if it was a comfort but I had been watching a programme about quantum entanglement and the possible multiverse. I am not an astrophysicist and I have no idea if this theory would have any effect on variations of people/places/times, but it gave me a little strange comfort.
Mallaband-Brown