Missing cat

My cat has gone missing. He’s a large cat with a distinctive smudge on his nose. He might have got shut in somewhere if he’s found a place to sleep in the shade. I’ve looked round the garden, round the back of the house. I’ve knocked on neighbours doors. I’ve been down to the pdsa but they haven’t had him handed in. I rang the local vets, but they are closed till Monday so I rang their emergency vets but they are in Nantwich. He was abandoned by his previous owners who would not speak to the cats protection league so I was never able to get his microchip changed over. He’s a very loving cat, very big, he might have gone up to someone. All I can hope is he might be asleep somewhere because of the heat. But then he comes in for a drink and food? I don’t know what to do. Posted to Facebook.

Almost bedtime

The nights are getting longer

The days slightly shorter

It’s almost bedtime

But I’m hot

My heart aches, my mind too

So I’ll sit and watch TV a bit

No sensible thoughts in my mind

Just watching the nights decline

Into a slow dawn.

Maybe the sun will shine bright

In the morning after this night.

I don’t know

Time goes slow

When you’re alone

With the pain of loss.

Lots of things

What bothers you and why?

The world seems upside down inside out

I’m bothered by lots of things.. about

Broken tiles

Corrupt files

Parking woes

A split hose

Not enough bees

Leaves leaving trees

Too hot one day

Too cold the next day

Inconvenient thoughts

Complicated sports

Not enough food

Having a low mood.

They all bother me

I guess that’s how I see

The world

Unfurled.

No cherries, no pears

Each year we have cherries and pears on our trees. The birds get most of the cherries but we get good pears, that is until  this year.

We had a lovely display of blossom. The cherry and the pear tree blossomed first. Early in spring. Lots of flowers, pink and white. But I was worried because it was cold and wet and windy and I didn’t see many insects (and we don’t seem to have had birds nesting either). A couple of weeks later the blossom had faded and petals showered the ground. Then the apple tree came into blossom. The sun shone and bees arrived. Now I have no cherries, I saw the little stalks with tiny pips all over the ground, and no discernable baby pears. It’s so sad. It’s like they have given up now hubby is gone.

My only consolation is that there are lots of apples on the tree. But it hangs over into my neighbours yard and I am worried they will cut it back, and as there is a trellis fence in the way I can’t access the fruit. Drat!

Lost my purse

I’ve lost my favourite purse. Small and soft material, I’ve had it for years, it was getting scruffy but I loved it. I think I must have pulled it out of my pocket yesterday when I was out for a walk. I know I took money out to pay for something, but stuffed it back in because my friend paid. Then it’s a blur, perhaps as I took a tissue out it fell out. I’ve rung the place we visited but no one has handed it in. Someone has probably had the cash. I almost drove back today but thought better of it. Too late. I seem to be losing a lot of things at the moment. So upsetting.

Train time

Watercolour painting of the top half of Cheddleton Station near Leek in Staffordshire. I have travelled on the steam train from there several times with my hubby. Something I will really miss. He was a bit of a steam train fanatic and always had masses of information in his mind. He recognised the make and types of trains (and tractors and cars) he could tell the make of tractors by the colours they were painted. Old Fergus on tractors were grey ‘old grey Fergie’ he would say.

Here’s a link to their website:

https://www.churnetvalleyrailway.co.uk/

A long day

I woke at 5.30am, unable to sleep, I was enveloped in waves of heat and cold from the covid virus. I couldn’t decide whether to snuggle under the duvet or throw it off. I lay listening to the news on the radio.

Just after 8am I came downstairs. I took my medication and prepared to light a candle for my hubby. Today was the day he would be cremated but circumstances meant I could not go to a funeral. Life isn’t always fair. Many friends and family had promised to light candles for him too and I spent an hour in calm and quiet peace thinking about my loss and contacting people who had left messages and thoughts on social media. What a strange way of doing things these days.

After breakfast I wondered if I should take another covid test, but decided I will wait till tomorrow to see. What would be the point of just confirming I was still ill. I continued to get messages and contacted friends and family.

I’ve cried and cried today. Little things like stories of people going through similar circumstances touched my heart. A film which was one of my hubbys favourites was on the TV. ‘The railway children’ is a sweet film and when it reached the end I started crying all over again.

Sleeping has helped this afternoon. I decided to ignore the fuel bills and have the heating on today. I was so tired at one point that my sandwich I’d made for tea slid off the plate and spilt all over the floor. I was not happy with myself.

I know these posts are not nice. I guess I’m just trying to document how I feel. If I explain perhaps it could help someone else? I don’t know.

Green gone!

My neighbours are fencing off the alleyway which is good because it will stop people getting in through the hedge, but they bought a digger in and grubbed up even more of the hedge. It’s near where my hubby wanted his ashes scattering. I couldn’t argue, I just stayed polite, the builder didn’t care or understand. But when things are sorted I will plant the spikiest holly and pyrocantha hedge that I can!

The builder said “your hedge is over the boundary line” I replied “this was my hedge for over twenty years, you are doing work for someone who literally just bought it”, he seemed to vaguely understand. I just hope he didn’t dig up any hedgehog nests!