Tired

Posted on May 20, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Choirs, choral music, demanding, diminished, Driving, Life, Memory, Mental health, physical health, Singing, TiredLeave a comment

I’ve been to two choir sessions today, both are slighty different groups. So we learn different songs although the warm up is usually the same. I love singing different songs and it lifts me when I am feeling down.

I go to choir because I’ve been going for between 15 and 20 years. It’s my rock I can cling onto in a raging river of life. If I didn’t go I would be seriously lost. It helps my mental health and I believe it’s also good for my physical health but it’s getting harder and harder to keep going. I need to rest between songs and I get tired quicker. Also I have to drive to get to the groups and I have to be careful that I am safe to drive. I can think about all the journeys I used to make but I can no longer do them. That diminished possibility hurts me.

Digital play

Posted on May 16, 2024 Posted in Sketching, UncategorizedTagged Age, alteration, Digital art, Instagram, Photodirector app, Selfie, TiredLeave a comment

I’m looking a bit glum. I’m tired and got a headache. I know I’ve been overdoing things which is why I haven’t posted much here.

This was taken from a selfie, I tried giving myself a cartoon face but it looked bad so then I played with adding texture in photodirector. I layered another version of the selfie on top. Then I added more using Instagram tools. I’m smiling inside!

No room on the bed

Posted on April 29, 2024 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged Bed, Black and white cat, Cat, Limerick, no room, Poem, Poetry, Sleeping, Tired, Tuxedo cat4 Comments

No room on the bed for me

The cats were sleeping you see!

When I tried to seek

Some room to count sheep

The cats wouldn’t move or flee!

I’ve just done a limerick for Esther Chiltons weekly challenge, and it inspired me to write another one about the cats I found on the bed last night.

Tulips

Posted on April 28, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged effort, Garden, Growing, Growth, Memories, Photo, Spring, Time, Tired, Tulip, WorkLeave a comment

Last years tulips were beautiful. We had seven or eight in the pots outside our house, sadly this year I only had two. I haven’t got on top of gardening because of everything that’s been happening and I will regret not being able to keep up with the seasons. I’m going to try and make more of an effort, a bit at a time, give myself rests in between spells of gardening. It might take a while and I need to try and put the effort in

Fall asleep

Posted on April 21, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1915, Dream, Insomnia, Nightmare, Poem, Poetry, Rest, Time, Tired5 Comments

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

I don’t sleep well at night

But after a demanding day?

I fall asleep in the chair

I close my eyes and hours

Days? Go by…

Sleep is a benefit and a curse

Memories and dreams

Nightmares and revelations

Thoughts and fears

After that I go to bed

Insomnia hits like a brick

And I lie awake for hours.

Fears

Posted on March 29, 2024March 29, 2024 Posted in Memories, UncategorizedTagged Anxiety, Fears, Insomnia, Life, Memories, OK, Sadness, slack, Thinking, Time, Tired, Upset, WorldLeave a comment

Today is a hiding day. Lots of thoughts and fears roaming around the inside of my head. I need to get things done but I don’t feel like doing them. I’m going to give myself some slack, just a few hours to feel safe.

Yesterday I was more optimistic, I got some things done I’d been putting off. I’ve even started my gratitude book again. And later I will go out as the cats won’t have anything to eat if I don’t. But yesterday afternoon something happened that put everything into another perspective. And I just froze. I’m only hinting, I’m not going to say, and I think I will be OK, it was something mental not physical. I’m OK. I will be OK.

Small cat?

Posted on March 24, 2024 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged Black and white cat, Cat, Claws, Insomnia, Paws, Sleeping, Tired, Tuxedo catLeave a comment

No, just the camera angle. He does look cute, warm and cuddly. But beware the claws, tickle his chest and he’s OK, but go anywhere near his belly and the paws grab you and his claws will hook into your flesh.

It’d almost 2am, I can’t sleep so I’m watching a silly film and I just looked over to see where the TV remote is and saw him. Now the cat flap has clattered and his sister has come in from outside. I guess she will be looking for a warm chair to sleep on too. Cats cheer me up when I’m feeling really low.

Phone alarm

Posted on March 19, 2024 Posted in Cat, UncategorizedTagged alarm, Awake, Bed, Cat, cats claws, Morning, Music, Phone, Sleeping, tinkly, TiredLeave a comment

Somewhere downstairs my sisters phone alarm is going off. She must still be asleep, but the high pitched tinkling music woke me up and my cats too! I am quite a light sleeper and I have good hearing which doesn’t help. Then on this grey and tinkly morning one of my cats has decided to tunnel down the bed next to me and stick her claws in my knees in order to get a bit of love. Chin and belly rub over she leaps back out of bed. Now I’m awake so I decided to let you know. Perhaps your phone will tinkle or beep and wake you up? X Morning X

Slept

Posted on March 4, 2024 Posted in Fine Art, Memories, UncategorizedTagged Acrylic on canvas, Awake, Exhibition, Insomnia, Life, poppy painting, Sleep, TiredLeave a comment

Poppy painting, makes me think of sleep, soporific, ancient remedy. Beautiful but dangerous. Trying to channel art nouveau I guess.

Last night I wished I could sleep, all my strategies, thinking of healing, trying to relax, counting backwards,, none of them worked. So I got up after my sleepless night then went out and sang at choir. I could feel the tiredness spreading through me. This afternoon was hard, I was trying to arrange the paintings for the exhibition I’m holding. I feel like I’m having to rely more and more on others and I want my independence.

When I got home I had a bit of tea, but then whoosh! The sleep came without trying. It meant I missed this evenings choir practice, so I felt guilty, I just hope I can sleep tonight. X

Sleepless in Stoke

Posted on March 4, 2024 Posted in Cat, Memories, UncategorizedTagged Awake, Cat, Counting sheep, Insomnia, Memory, Pain, Sleep, strategy, Thinking, Thought, TiredLeave a comment

I need one if those old fashioned ‘intermission’ films they used to show between films at a Saturday matinee at the cinema to relax my mind. Gentle music and the sight of a potters wheel twirling might help me to sleep. I’ve forgotten the various little strategies I use to try and fall asleep. Pain and discomfort have held my mind up like a theif of sleep. Haunting me in the night. A few, drowsy thoughts and I’m awake again, sometimes disturbed by a heartbeat out of turn or the patter of cats paws. I have things to do today and I didn’t want to be tired. 6am…..goodnight, I will try counting sheep

Mallaband-Brown

Tag: Tired