I keep forgetting to post here. I’ve got so much to do.. Forms to complete, meetings to go to, appointments to keep. I sign up for things to keep myself occupied but without transport everything is taking longer to get to. And I have been so behind with stuff. I really need to get my skates on and sort myself out. But I’m getting tired and staying in more. It’s so hard to get organised.
Prevarication doesn’t help, I look at things and worry, and stick my head under the duvet and try to hide and sleep!
Now it’s 2026 I want to get more exercise. I want to put the past few years behind me and try and make a new start. I’ve been stuck in my world of problems for too long.
I tried table tennis over the last few months, but my health isn’t good and I do struggle with movement and motivation. I have stopped going out as much as I used to, I find myself making excuses, will the ground be too slippery? Can I walk that far? I know I’m losing strength in my muscles and I really need to do something now before I give up completely. I’m not that old, but my body is acting like it’s 10 years older.
I guess this is my new years resolution. Even if I don’t do as well as I want I will try.
I’m sleep deprived again. I get into bed and my legs twitch and itch, feel sore and uncomfortable. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours came downstairs and slept in my armchair. It feels like having sheet and duvet resting on my legs makes it worse, but as it is cold in my bedroom I have to cover my legs up….
This seems to be happening more regularly and I decided to see what I could find out. I have Parkinsons disease and wondered if it was anything to do with it?
I’ve heard of restless legs syndrome so Googled it. Here’s the answer:
Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS), also known as Willis-Ekbom disease, is a neurological disorder causing an overwhelming, uncomfortable urge to move your legs, often with crawling, itching, or aching sensations, especially when resting in the evening or at night, with movement temporarily relieving the feelings. It’s a common, often unrecognised condition linked to dopamine issues in the brain, low iron, or other conditions, leading to sleep disturbances and daytime tiredness, but it is treatable through lifestyle changes or medication.
Reading that makes sense to me. I think I’ve realised this is the cause.
My car is old! Tonight the clutch went in it. I was revving the engine and creeping forward in 1st gear, smoke billowed out from under the bonnet.
I had to park at an angle sticking out into the road. I called a break down service and after an hour and a half got through. An hour later some just came. They managed to park the car safely. But the clutch has gone. Goodness knows how much it will cost to fix. I really need an automatic.
It took me half an hour to drive 500 yards and park near my house tonight.
I went out at 6pm and everything was fine. Three hours later I drove down my hill, only to find a toad closed sign about 200 yards from my house. At the bottom of the hill a large truck was parked across the junction preventing any entrance or exit from the street.
So I turned down a rutted unadopted road to get into the next street on along from mine. There was a road closed sign there too. But at least my house was only 50 yards away now.
I decided to ask one of the, workmen, but all he could say was sorry for the inconvenience. I walked a bit further and asked another workman. He, was much more sympathetic. If I went back and got my car he would move one of the cones that were in my way.
I finally managed to drive round, I couldn’t park directly in front of my house, but now I’m only about 10 yards away. If anyone moves I’ll try and shift my car later. The roadworks are going for another two days!
I went back to the Parkinsons table tennis club this week after a few weeks off because of eye surgery.
I was pleased that I could just hit the ping pong balls but I was very unsteady on my feet. I was also cautious of bending forward. Time will tell whether I improve. I really think I need to discuss things with my Parkinsons nurse. I just want to be safe and careful.
Exercise is important, moving around, keeping active. If I don’t my muscles will atrophy. I think I need physiotherapy. Wish me luck. I’m so tired I’m going to get a nap.
Endlessly ringing through my head. We were singing this minor key song this evening at choir and it’s turned into an ear worm….
When I went to bed a few hours ago I was determined not to be kept awake by intrusive thoughts. I was going to think of the word ‘the’ over and over again to keep my mind on the straight and narrow path to slumber. It almost worked, but the ‘the’s’ started to form into the Soul cake tune, and soon it took over.
It didn’t help that I’d gone to bed on an almost empty stomach, not feeling well, I’d decided just to eat a couple of sandwiches, and I was being kept awake by the feeling of hunger. I’ve come downstairs for something and ended up eating a tub of curried noodles.
Now I’m sitting in my armchair wondering what to do. I can hear traffic outside and the patter of rain on the ground by my front door, almost like the soft sound as a cat licks itself before settling down to sleep.
Maybe I’ll stay downstairs and hope that I can doze, or go back to bed and try and sleep with the radio murmuring softly. Insomnia is not my friend.
Soon it will be dawn again, things to do. But with the change of the clocks I always feel jet-lagged, unsettled, trying to find my comfortable place.
Maybe writing here, using my thoughts of other things will clip the earworm and stop the repetitive tune. I do hope so. Goodnight.
Mallaband-Brown 