Everything aches
From head to foot
From face to hips
And shaking limbs
Are causing pain.
An ache that grows
And makes me frown.
I must relax
And need to rest
To give me health
Again, at last…
Tired and achy
Tag: Sad
Blurry photo
It would have been our anniversary today. We lived together for years before we married. I painted him when I was about 20 and he still sits in this painting looking out at me. I did a lot of drawings and portraits of him over the years, I am glad there are visible memories of him.
What will happen when I go? Who knows what my relatives will want to do with all my art? Will a local museum take them, or will they just get skipped? I don’t know, I won’t be here but I would like to have some recognition. The trouble is I’m very eclectic, I paint for my self in these images. Ah well, more questions…
Thinking again.
I’m better off than the majority of the people in the world. I have food and water and shelter and reasonable health. I don’t live in a war zone. But I’m worried about the world, so much horror and anxiety. Will things ever get better or must we all be stuck in a morass of hate filled argument and anger? Something might give, but all I can see is more of the same. I am not generally a pessimist and it may be my feelings are simply a reflection of what’s going on in my own life. However I can wish for better times, even if its unlikely to happen in the near future. I think we are in the Pandoras box situation? We still have hope.
Cat situation
My Cat is not well. He has heart failure. He’s on medication but is off his food. Just got to look after him. He’s lost weight, not in any pain. He sat on my chest for an hour this afternoon, purring, nuzzling my hand, but I can see he’s deteriorating. I think I might have to take him back to the vets tomorrow.
I’ve had him for 8 years as a rescue cat, so I don’t know his actual age. He’s so loving. I will miss him deeply when he goes.
Getting old
My old boy cat is getting thin. He is on medication for his heart, but that seems to be making him thinner. I don’t know his actual age because he was a rescue cat about 8 years ago. I didn’t find out his age then but he was fully grown. I’m having to accept he won’t be around for much longer. I’m giving him him lots of treats. He’s getting small meals but as often as he wants. I can’t make him eat but I can try and tempt him. At least he can sit in the sun if he wants.
Summer ending
Most of my hanging baskets have survived a very dry summer as I watered them every few days. But I made the mistake of thinking the rain that has been falling heavily for the last few days would suffice. And because I have trouble negotiating around the yard I haven’t done any watering! Big mistake. Because I had two hanging baskets hung underneath another two baskets. Usually when I water the top ones the water runs into the bottom ones, but then I also do the lower ones to make sure they are thoroughly wet. The rain just didn’t penetrate and the two lower baskets are now badly wilted. I doubt they will be able to recover as the nights are getting cooler and the growing season is almost over. They have also gone to seed. Drat!
But the photo shows one of the healthy ones…. If only I’d done the watering!
Bad day
My day has been spent shut inside the house. Not wanting to go out, shaky and achy. My feet are cramping, my hands tremble and twist tightly. I started doomscrolling which was a mistake. I also wanted to keep out of the heat and humidity.
This is the reality of a bad day of Parkinsons. Quiet, just mooching, worrying, thinking about the future. Things I can’t do. Fears of what I need to be careful about.
I need to put washing on the line, I really need shopping. But I had trouble washing my hair. I’m not supposed to get water in my eye because of the surgery, but leaning backwards in the shower feels very unsteady.
Reading about other people’s problems makes me realise how much people have to put up with. Life isn’t always easy.
BUT my Cat just jumped on my lap. She’s happy and purring… Not so bad then..
Full English?
Went for lunch with my friend. Overwhelmed by the size of my meal… Sausage, bacon, egg, beans, mushrooms, tinned tomatoes, a hash brown, and two slices of toast and butter. When I was younger this might be my Sunday breakfast, but I only eat it occasionally these days. The food was well prepared and hot, I enjoyed it, but also felt guilty having so much when so many are struggling. But it’s still worth asking the question. Why is the world so unequal?
Wanders in cat…
He comes in for 5 minutes
Sniffs his food
Ignores it
Comes and lies down in a loaf
Shaped like a bread
Then gets up
Stares at me
Walks off
Out the catflap.
I’m clearly below his status
I think he’s going to a new home
Someone must be feeding him
But I’ll still love him
Big beautiful boy.
My garden
My garden is overgrown, particularly the front hedge which is trees and bushes. The local council has sent me a warning letter to get it cut back in 14 days. But I’m physically not capable of doing it, I’m on a low income and my garden is a haven for birds, squirrels, sometimes hedgehogs and bats. I’m going to try and get it done, but will have to rely on friends as my hubby died 18 months ago.
What is worse is I struggle with anxiety and having a letter addressed to the both of us really upset me. I found myself crying on the phone to a council worker. It makes me feel like my heart is breaking. I just wish hubby was still here. Meanwhile I will try and plead for some more time.
Mallaband-Brown 